How does being AS/ASD/etc. affect you?

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Hi there. So, I have what may be a bit of an odd request. A bit of background from me first. About 6 months ago, I got a job with a subgroup of everyone's favorite organization: Autism Speaks. (For the record, neither I nor anyone else I work with is happy with the way things are being run.) Now, other than having seen Rain Main once when I was 8 or so and a vague interest in the idea of "savantism" I had absolutely no knowledge of autism or the people it affects. As I continue to work here I am learning more about the various medical and genetic work being researched (comorbidity with ADD/ADHD, epilepsy, various GI peculiarities and food allergies), but I still don't really understand you: the people fitting this so-called "disorder". And I use that word, not to be insulting, but because I am not sure what word to use. Differing thought pattern? Whatever term you are most comfortable with.

I have a fascination with the way people think and perceive things. Personally, I work alternately in broad abstracts and minutiae. I don't know as I'd consider myself an NT per se, but I also have a well-tuned empathy that disqualifies me from the AS map, from what I understand. But then, I don't really understand your thought patterns. Thus, my request: help me understand how you think.

It is difficult, I know. How often does one actually think about how they're thinking? Though, if the communication thread is any sort of standard, as a group you seem more inclined towards it than the NTs. Be as frank as you'd like, it is a quality I appreciate. I know there are checklists and DSM qualifications for the diagnosis, but I have no qualitative values to map the dry definitions to. I also understand if you do not wish to share anything, but please know that I am asking out of pure curiosity and a desire to understand with no malice or ill will intended.

I appreciate anything you do choose share and thank you in advance.

It's not much because, like you said, I don't think about how I'm thinking really, but I can tell you that it can be very annoying and complicated when we think differently and we don't notice that NTs think in a whole other way or thing that different things are acceptable or not. For example, there have been a lot of times when I have done something that I didn't think was, for example, embarrassing to anyone but then my mum tells me that they are.

OK that wasent really to do with how I think but it still helps you to understand what it's like.

So is it primarily in the social arena you encounter the major differences? Are you seeing social cues and interpreting them in a way that makes sense to you, but not most NTs? Or is it just missing them altogether? Are non-vocal cues like body language harder to pick up on than subtleties of tone (sarcasm, double-speak, etc.), the other way around, or does it vary?

yeah im the same i dont think about how i think either. but i do get frustrated when i am told that the way im doing something is not acceptble according to an nt, as i did not realise. this is a bit of a complicated question however. i meen how does an nt explain how they think? i do not understand how they think, but as i have had as my entire life, i do not know any different.
xxxxx

I personally dont have a lot of problems with sarcasm, metaphors etc. but I have moderate problems with body language, although I'm better than most Aspies.

A example of how this affects me is if someone is using signals to tell me to pass them something, I have no idea what I'm meant to do and I end up looking like a idiot.

Last edited by DeLoreanDude on 18 Jan 2009, 6:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well i find non vocal cues and tone both extremely hard to pick up. it is hard to know when a person is being sarlcastic or whether they actually meen it. and it is hard to tell from peoples body perception how there feelings etc. so i try to use my own perception which is often inaccurate and false. so yes i do try to interpret them in a way that makes sense to me.

I don't notice social cues. Either all my concentration is put into what people are saying (my mind usually wanders off if I don't concentrate really hard on what's being said) or my brain is just working too fast to even notice it.
I can sometimes pick up on sarcasm but I don't know what double speak is.
I'm pretty technical and don't like talking about feelings or even weekly gossip, and that's kind of hard with being a 23 year old girl. Really, all I can talk about is what I'm interested in and I really have to feign interest when I find something I can't relate to. It makes socialising something really exhausting and I need a few days rest to recover.

Definitely a valid point. I can offer my perspective, though I cannot guarantee its accuracy for anyone beyond myself.

Hm. Okay, answering this is way harder than I thought initially. heh.

I think in systems and objects. Everything that happens occurs as a direct result of something else. A system could be, say, something as simple as dropping a pencil to the ground (object pencil is moved towards object ground, the movement is caused by system gravity, which contains a series of interrelationships between the molecules of the objects, resistance from the air, etc.) or as complex as a first date (numerous levels of systems and complex objects). Emotions themselves are systems whose constituent objects are not always clear, but can be determined with proper analysis.

It is through much of such analysis that I have become confident in my intuitive ability apply my own perceptions to the actions of others to the majority of people. I probably could not list all of the various objects in such a complex system as combined verbal and non-verbal communication, but have developed a sufficient understanding of the sub- and super-systems that contain them that in most cases I do not need to.

Each object exists in my mind as a multi-dimensional construct. As I develop a better understanding of how the object works (the systems it is involved in), the construct becomes sharper and more defined until I can "zoom in" on a portion of it to see a particular sub-system or "zoom out" and see how it functions as a whole.

I'm not sure how clearly that came across, and from what I understand it is not the standard NT thought model, but that is how I think.

By double-speak, I mean the general idea of saying one thing and meaning another, but not necessarily in as straight forward or obvious a way as sarcasm, which is usually just the opposite of what is being said and readily apparent to those involved in the conversation. (Usually. There are plenty of NTs who are just as oblivious to the most obvious sarcasm as any aspie could be.) To take an example from another thread, Woman A tells Woman B that she is wearing a really cute dress, but that she would never wear that color herself. What could simply be a compliment ("cute dress"), could also be Woman A attempting to subtly place herself "above" Woman B by calling into question her taste in color while ostensibly offering a compliment. Which case it was is dependent on the tone and positioning of Woman A, which itself can create a range in the degree of compliment or insult.

how i understand how others think is by picking out the vocabulary there using and what they are currently doing at moment so if i miss social cues i sometimes pick up what they mean by logical guessing i like being a aspie :>) i wouldnt change myself for anything

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