20 Jan 2009, 11:04 pm
lionesss wrote:
I definitely understand what you are saying and I totally understand where you are coming from. But you have to realize you have to look out for yourself before you look out for anyone else (other than your family). I used to only care about the needs of others and I got walked on.. I was a major doormat. People would immediately take advantage of that and I would be hurt, then I would be resentful.. I was a martyr. Not a way to be. Yes, be kind but only on your terms! You have to look out for yourself before you look out for anyone else!! You have to look out for your own needs and get them met before anyone else! If you do that, you may find that things for you will improve and you will be attracting positive people. I am working on that and it takes a lot of work and time but the rewards will be nice.
Yeah thanks
There are a select few outside of my family that I will help though, cause they need it. Makes me feel needed and good anyway. But yes apart from that, i'll be trying to follow what you just said. I know its the way forward.
21 Jan 2009, 4:23 am
21 Jan 2009, 6:39 am
21 Jan 2009, 1:03 pm
Lessian wrote:
With the exception of five people already permanantly in my life, I have yet to meet anyone who actually deserve my help. Many times I have offered it to people who appear to be good, but they usually end up being nasty little piranah fish happily chewing on my face and hands.
(please note that I actually have nothing against piranahs, they just make for suitably dramatic descriptions. I actually think they are kind of cute in an evil sort of way...)
(please note that I actually have nothing against piranahs, they just make for suitably dramatic descriptions. I actually think they are kind of cute in an evil sort of way...)
Yeah, that is the case most of the time. Its best to actually trust the person on if they've helped you in some way, before giving them your time.
21 Jan 2009, 1:11 pm
Yeah I can kind of relate to this. I try not to let people like that get to me but it's hard.
What I find worse though is when they act like your friend for a while and you've done is much as you could and then suddenly.....they betray you out of avoidance or talk smack about you...... 
I've had this happen many times and can never figure out the cause of why it happened. It never ends with the mind games people play.
Just Keep your head up Ben and try take time for those who do care. I learned it's always best not to take a person's kindness for granted. 
I don't think we have enough of that in the world.
21 Jan 2009, 3:25 pm
benjimanbreeg wrote:
Well i'm happy to be the minority even if its just me on my own. Why do people keep letting me down, when I try so hard to please them. Well f**k it, f**k them and f**k the world! 
I'm with ya there on some days.
It sucks that there are so many sh***y people in the world without an ounce of conscience or soul. Worse, they wear the mask of someone with conscience/soul. The more they brag about how enlightened/wonderful/god-loving they are, the more closely you need to watch for that knife that's about to plunge into your back.
But do be aware that there are some good people out there. Horrible as the sh***y ones are, don't let them ruin the good ones for you.
I do truly believe in Karma and have seen it in action. What you put out comes back to you. The sh***y people will get theirs.
I have to believe that. It's the only thing that keeps me from beating the crap out of them myself.
- Jo
21 Jan 2009, 4:28 pm
Fnord wrote:
benjimanbreeg wrote:
I feel like anyone who even slightly annoys me, lets me down or betrays me, underestimates me, etc etc. I wanna give them what for. What the hell is wrong with this world? I'm not a bad person, I mean well. And I was a nice child. But this bloody earth place has polluted me. Its changed my perception completely of what I have to do to get by. I'm nice to people and help them, but they treat me with no respect. I'll adopt a kinda Robin Hood style, be nice to the good people and not nice to the bad. I'm not sure if i'm being paranoid, but, the world is obsessed with fame now, its more important than actually being talented. Reality tv everywhere I look. All people wanna do is do their job, even if they hate it with a passion, just so they can afford a weekend in the pub. Not everyone, but the majority. Or they all like the same music apparently! Killers, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs??? Get real!! !! ! The latest trend is facebook, which is like watching paint dry. No-one gives a f**k about anyone. Well i'm happy to be the minority even if its just me on my own. Why do people keep letting me down, when I try so hard to please them. Well f**k it, f**k them and f**k the world!
C'mon ... don't hold back! Tell us how you really feel!
I'm joking, of course. The sentence that I highlightened in bold says it all - nobody respects a nice guy (take note, all you single guys!). "Nice" is perceived by many as "weak." I'm not entirely certain why, but I do know that respect must be earned, either by skill and talent, or by bluff and bluster, and often it's a combination of both.
Welcome to reality. I believe many of us here have experienced humanity similar to what you describe. There are good people out there ASD or non ASD, we just have to be selective. Our naive nature lends us to believe there is good in everyone, I'm certainly reviewing this ideal big time.
Its all about image and BS to most people and cliques, so keep your guard up at all times.
21 Jan 2009, 4:32 pm
21 Jan 2009, 4:36 pm
benjimanbreeg wrote:
I feel like anyone who even slightly annoys me, lets me down or betrays me, underestimates me, etc etc. I wanna give them what for. What the hell is wrong with this world? I'm not a bad person, I mean well. And I was a nice child. But this bloody earth place has polluted me. Its changed my perception completely of what I have to do to get by. I'm nice to people and help them, but they treat me with no respect. I'll adopt a kinda Robin Hood style, be nice to the good people and not nice to the bad. I'm not sure if i'm being paranoid, but, the world is obsessed with fame now, its more important than actually being talented. Reality tv everywhere I look. All people wanna do is do their job, even if they hate it with a passion, just so they can afford a weekend in the pub. Not everyone, but the majority. Or they all like the same music apparently! Killers, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs??? Get real!! !! ! The latest trend is facebook, which is like watching paint dry. No-one gives a f**k about anyone. Well i'm happy to be the minority even if its just me on my own. Why do people keep letting me down, when I try so hard to please them. Well f**k it, f**k them and f**k the world!
Cool it. People make mistakes, including you.
ruveyn
21 Jan 2009, 6:30 pm
benjimanbreeg wrote:
I feel like anyone who even slightly annoys me, lets me down or betrays me, underestimates me, etc etc. I wanna give them what for. What the hell is wrong with this world? I'm not a bad person, I mean well. And I was a nice child. But this bloody earth place has polluted me. Its changed my perception completely of what I have to do to get by. I'm nice to people and help them, but they treat me with no respect. I'll adopt a kinda Robin Hood style, be nice to the good people and not nice to the bad. I'm not sure if i'm being paranoid, but, the world is obsessed with fame now, its more important than actually being talented. Reality tv everywhere I look. All people wanna do is do their job, even if they hate it with a passion, just so they can afford a weekend in the pub. Not everyone, but the majority. Or they all like the same music apparently! Killers, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs??? Get real!! !! ! The latest trend is facebook, which is like watching paint dry. No-one gives a f**k about anyone. Well i'm happy to be the minority even if its just me on my own. Why do people keep letting me down, when I try so hard to please them. Well f**k it, f**k them and f**k the world!
I can understand how you feel.Another thing that annoys me is some people's obsession
with fashion.
Anyway,try not to let people or your own anger get on top of you.I reckon NTs have a way
of sensing anger and it makes them feel uncomfortable.No matter how kind or helpful we are,our faces and body language can betray any underlying anger and the apparent conflict can confuse people and make them suspicious.You can only do your best to keep to your own
standards,with the consolation of being able to rant as much as you like here on WP
21 Jan 2009, 8:56 pm
Haha thanks to all!
I just don't know why people will accept kindness, and then stab us in the back 
I think once you've realised the person is like that, don't waste your time, just forget about them! They're not worth the effort.
And yeah, the fashion thing I forgot to mention, I held back a bit I like to wear what I feel comfortable with. But seems like we have to go out of the comfort zone, if we wanna look "trendy"
Oh bit i'm a bit like an aspie in an "NT'S" shell. I can act pretty good, and be pretty much myself round people, i've just probably gotten in trouble or made fun of if I have acted strange throughout the years.
21 Jan 2009, 11:25 pm
22 Jan 2009, 6:07 am
PhR33kY
Deinonychus
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Age: 185
Gender: Male
Posts: 389
Location: Philidelphia, PA, USA
22 Jan 2009, 6:39 am
22 Jan 2009, 9:40 am
benjimanbreeg wrote:
I feel like anyone who even slightly annoys me, lets me down or betrays me, underestimates me, etc etc. I wanna give them what for. What the hell is wrong with this world? I'm not a bad person, I mean well. And I was a nice child. But this bloody earth place has polluted me. Its changed my perception completely of what I have to do to get by. I'm nice to people and help them, but they treat me with no respect. I'll adopt a kinda Robin Hood style, be nice to the good people and not nice to the bad. I'm not sure if i'm being paranoid, but, the world is obsessed with fame now, its more important than actually being talented. Reality tv everywhere I look. All people wanna do is do their job, even if they hate it with a passion, just so they can afford a weekend in the pub. Not everyone, but the majority. Or they all like the same music apparently! Killers, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs??? Get real!! !! ! The latest trend is facebook, which is like watching paint dry. No-one gives a f**k about anyone. Well i'm happy to be the minority even if its just me on my own. Why do people keep letting me down, when I try so hard to please them. Well f**k it, f**k them and f**k the world!
Try to let the little stuff go ben, unless it's an all the time thing from a douchebag who likes to mess with you. You have a pretty good attitude overall, torpedoing dickheads who want to mess with you can be quite satisfying. Sometimes it works better if you allow them to think they have won before you cut them off at the knees, that way you take away a victory they thought they had. Too many aspies eat feces instead of nailing their enemies.
22 Jan 2009, 10:27 am
velodog wrote:
benjimanbreeg wrote:
I feel like anyone who even slightly annoys me, lets me down or betrays me, underestimates me, etc etc. I wanna give them what for. What the hell is wrong with this world? I'm not a bad person, I mean well. And I was a nice child. But this bloody earth place has polluted me. Its changed my perception completely of what I have to do to get by. I'm nice to people and help them, but they treat me with no respect. I'll adopt a kinda Robin Hood style, be nice to the good people and not nice to the bad. I'm not sure if i'm being paranoid, but, the world is obsessed with fame now, its more important than actually being talented. Reality tv everywhere I look. All people wanna do is do their job, even if they hate it with a passion, just so they can afford a weekend in the pub. Not everyone, but the majority. Or they all like the same music apparently! Killers, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs??? Get real!! !! ! The latest trend is facebook, which is like watching paint dry. No-one gives a f**k about anyone. Well i'm happy to be the minority even if its just me on my own. Why do people keep letting me down, when I try so hard to please them. Well f**k it, f**k them and f**k the world!
Try to let the little stuff go ben, unless it's an all the time thing from a douchebag who likes to mess with you. You have a pretty good attitude overall, torpedoing dickheads who want to mess with you can be quite satisfying. Sometimes it works better if you allow them to think they have won before you cut them off at the knees, that way you take away a victory they thought they had. Too many aspies eat feces instead of nailing their enemies.
Well I don't just take it. I know what you mean though. Some aspies will just take it and implode. I gave as good as I got to my ex friends. The first one who wanted to smoke a joint in my car and told me to get into some new music, when I played Led Zeppelin. I told him he needs to get a new lifestyle and stop doing drugs. And said all his cocaine addict friends are scum. Which annoyed him. Then when we were in a shop and he started talking to some other friend he saw, for like 10 minutes, forgetting I was there, I walked out, leaving him to get the bus home. And the other friend I insulted him and he said he "felt like s**t now" and I told him "good". I still have a long way to go, in becoming a stronger person though.
