Sensitive or insensitive to nonverbal mannerisms?

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I'm wondering how common insensitivity to nonverbal language really is in AS/HFA/PDD people. As far back as I can remember I don't ever recall not understanding sarcasm or being unaware of the meaning of facial expressions.

When I was a kid I remember constantly getting upset with people when their body language didn't show that they were listening to me while I was going on about my special interests. I was crazy about making sure people were paying attention to me and used to drive all my adult relatives nuts. I couldn't be fooled by people feigning interest in my monologue topics and I used to "quiz" my relatives if I somehow detected that they weren't listening. I was truly the "little professor" AS stereotype. Anyone relate to this?

After looking at the link below I'm a bit confused (I haven’t read the actual book, just the samples/reviews). I’m not sure how to interpret it.

http://www.amazon.com/Mindblindness-Essay-Autism-Theory-Mind/dp/026252225X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232587810&sr=8-1

I'm wondering how many professionals think this so-called "mindblindness" is a key criteria for being on the autism spectrum. Would the people of this opinion say I'm not actually autistic? I had all the other AS issues - sensory problems, intense/narrow interests, rituals, not interested in peers, inability to perform small-talk, etc.

I was diagnosed PDD-NOS back in 1985 when I was only 5 years old. This was back before Aspergers was a common diagnosis (I wasn't diagnosed autistic because I didn't have a language delay).

I was also wondering if anyone here is aware of the different opinions in the literature on this issue.

Oh yeah: there's a lot of different opinions. Or at least a lot of variations on the same general idea. In summary, you won't definitively learn all about autism from one book. The people with ASDs can have just as wide and even contradictory spread of abilities in any number of proportions between one person and the next, too, it seems.

Incidentally, I voted "Seldom," because I'm aware of the gross meanings of tone of voice and facial expression, although I could just as easily say "totally clueless" since gross doesn't really cut it most of the time and can even lead me to be mislead and feel distracted/uncertain about someone else's mental state. And I just totally miss a lot, too.

I voted "sometimes yes, sometimes no". If I've spent a lot of time around a person (a lot of time = a number of years), I can read every nuance of their nonverbal communication, with only occasional misunderstandings. If I haven't, I'm clueless.

I picked seldom. I can recognize whether someone is happy or sad (tone wise at least) and I can recognize when someone is bored.

With facial expressions I'm pretty much dumb in that regard. I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing. Though I can recognize whether someone is happy, sad, or bored. =\

I responded "sometimes" because I can't really choose any of those.

It is not that I have "insensitivity" to nonverbal expressions. I notice them well enough, at least in people I know. My problem is an utter misinterpretation of those nonverbal expressions. I confuse the meaning. Often with unfortunate consequences.

This happened to me just this evening. My house-mate was trying to tell me something about her day, and I perceived ANGER her face and tone of voice. When I asked, "Why are you angry?!", she looked shocked and confused, and told me that she was not angry at all, and that I was reading her cues wrong, yet again. At that point, she DID become angry, except this time because of frustration with me and my inability to carry on a conversation without some kind of misunderstanding like this.

So again, I am at least partially sensitive to nonverbal mannerisms and such. The issue for me is a chronic misinterpretation of those signals, which may as well amount to not seeing them at all.

I chose seldom because I know the non-verbal cues but when I actually have a conversation with someone I'm too focused on concentrating on the conversation or looking at the wall behind the person that I don't pick up on non-verbal cues.
When I talk to people it's like everything is happening so fast that I barely have time to think, so I'm not able to notice body language. I don't know if this is anxiety or ADD or what.

I am more oblivious than not... I have known my friends for a few years now and I can't understand how they are moving that well. It makes me angry at myself... I've known the one almost 8 years now.

God worse yet one of them said something to the effect of "I am glad you have Asperger's, because then when you do something bad and act mean I know you ahve a problem" That kinda hurt.

I've always been sensative to it. In fact there were times where I'd read too much into people. I've had the same problem in wanting people to listen to me. It use to irk me so bad when I didn't get a response or sign that they were paying attention.

I also tend to react whenever someone smiles or looks at me in such a way. The only response I can get out is a nervous smile but even that's hard to pull off.....

However, I don't always trust my intuitions in judging people's mannerisms. With me, I tend to look too much into it rather than the opposite. It drives me crazy and i've been wrong many times.

I'm pretty crap with reading that stuff. I can notice the bleeding obvious, like when someone's using a 'sarcastic' tone of voice, and when someone starts yelling and throwing objects at me, I take it as a fairly good sign that they might be a little upset. The latter fortunately doesn't happen too often . But apart from that, I'm mostly clueless.

When people observe other people and say "it was so obvious from their body language that they [x]' I find myself feeling like a complete idiot, because I hadn't the faintest idea that there was anything amiss. It makes me wonder just how many 'obvious' things I end up missing.

Anyway, it's the thing that probably makes me the most uncomfortable about conversation with people, because whenever I see their facial expressions I haven't a clue what they mean, and I find myself panicking trying to guess what they might be thinking, because I've no idea whether the expression means they're interested, bored, annoyed, happy, sad or planning to murder me. It's probably why I have over the years managed to develop the use of humour pretty well, because it's pretty easy to read someone laughing (though I guess it is entirely possible that people could fake it out of 'politeness'), and it's probably the only time I really can feel somewhat secure in conversation, because laughter is generally a good sign that the person likes what you said.

I'm aware of changes somewhat, but it's a very broad awareness and I can't do anything about it. I don't change what I'm going to say, it just makes me more paranoid and retreat into my own head when I start analyzing facial expressions/tone of voice.

I can notice a change if someone is trying to lie... but I'm not too sure. And the rest of my personality is such that I'd never act on that smidgen of an instinct.

The bigger issue is not being able to use these same things myself. Often I try to use sarcasm... and no one gets it. Or I ask a rhetorical question... that gets interpreted as a real question. It happened just today, I tried to make a statement... but I said 'right' at the end of the statement. And with my tone of voice and the 'right' it was interpreted as my being unsure and seeking an answer... when really I was making a statement of knowledge. The guy even said, "I don't know..." almost antagonistically... since he thought I expected him to know a rather technical piece of knowledge.

I put 'sometimes', because I do notice facial expressions and tone of voice (although not body language). However, I rarely know what they mean. It's as though I can't process both the verbal conversation and the non-verbal cues at the same time.

I'll see a smile, and I'll know it's a smile. What I don't know is what kind of smile it is. Is it a happy smile? An embarassed smile? A you're-really-annoying-me-please-piss-off smile? I can never figure it out, so I just hazard a guess, or assume that all smiles equal happy, all frowns equal angry, etc. Or I just ignore the facial expressions altogether and try to get as much from the words as I possibly can.

Thanks everyone. I can really relate to what Pugly says. I’m sensitive to noticing non-verbal things but at the same time I don’t quite know how to interpret and respond to it. Most of the times I’ve had major meltdowns and fights with NT’s were due to me being overly sensitive to their tone and body language and not knowing how to react.

One thing I notice about talking with other aspies is that they seem completely unassuming. They talk to everyone exactly the same way. I’m the same way - unless I’m trying to joke or be funny I’m completely matter of fact and respectful with everyone. With NT’s you seldom get that. I often feel like they’re being arrogant or talking in a weird way to me and I can’t handle it. I don’t know what to make of it.

I went with most of the time.

Since I work in the retail world I'm exposed to dozens if not more people in a day. Since learning of my AS I've learned how to interpret more of the subtleties of non-verbal communication. Not too long ago I ran into my ex-girlfriend who is now married and we got talking about when we were still dating. I began to notice that as she got talking about it she became quitier and not as exuberant as she normally is. I noticed these non-verbal cues and saw it made her uncomfortable to talk about it. So I was able to change the subject to another topic before it got out of hand. We are still good friends to this day because of my being able to pick up on these non-verbal cues that some of us with AS often miss because of our lack of empathy/theory of mind.

What nonverbal mannerisms? I'm completely oblivious. Before I learned about AS, I didn't even know they existed.