Moved to Foreign Countries to run away from NT expectations

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ya i definitely want to travel to different countries..my time will come soon

I discovered my aspie-ness while I did a study abroad throw school. I was in France of all places. It was probably one of my contently happy periods. I still have dreams of going back. It seems to be ok to be an introvert in France. That was nice. Any one want to buy me a plane ticket?

I found I flourished socially when I studied in America for a semester. I was a lot more confident and it felt more like people were ready to take me as I was, if only because I was the only one of my kind (if that makes sense). How were they to know if I was behaving unusually or not? I don't know if it was all in my head though.

One thing, though, is that it took me a while to get to grips with North Carolinian manners. Their usual greeting was "Hey. How are you?". I would reply with some long answer before I learned that was just their way of saying "hi" and then moving on. Most people in London rarely ask how you are.

I was living in West Jerusalem for most of the time, but I left my house and ended up in a hostel in the old city for two months. The city is amazing, I'm still having trouble trying to sum up the experience in a few sentences. Don't get me started

i like this topic. i really would have considered it, but no other country would have me.

the best times ihave had in my life around people are wheni have been immersed in other cultures.
(India, indigenous people of australia.)

This isn't something I would do.

I wonder how one goes about doing something like this. I would love to experience life in a different country but haven't the slightest idea how to even initiate something like that. Assuming you would have to find employment and housing somehow, I would be so lost. I can't even seem to be able to move myself 1,000 miles across the country to Chicago which is my ultimate dream.

Born and raised in a European country, I kind of used this as a strategy as a child. When the other kids is grade school told me that I was strange and weird, my answer was that my dad came from another country--which is not true. It worked until one of the teachers who knew that I had made this up heard about the story.

Later, I moved to a neighboring European country, and not much changed since both countries are too close regarding language, social norms and expectations etc.

I then moved to Israel seven years ago, and it changed my life. For the first few months, I could do whatever I wanted because I was the new immigrant who had not yet learned the rules. Later, I realized that Israeli society is different and probably a perfect place for Aspies.


(My reply to Aspie1 is a bit longer. Sorry.)

This is true for the official Israel and her economy because the US are our strongest supporter, and American visitors are important for the economy. There is, however, a difference between 'America' and 'Americans.' I speak both English and Hebrew with a slight American accent, and people often do not know where I come from. I remember looking for an apartment and being repeatedly asked on the phone whether I was American. Once I had said no, people started to ramble that that's fine because they would not want to live with an American girl. There are 'quotas' of how many Americans to be invited to a party etc.
Perception might change for the better under Obama, but it is mainly about certain habits Israelis ascribe to Americans, and not so much about politics.



Yep.



The "Jerusalem Syndrome" is found among *Christian* visitors, but there are hardly any cases among Jews (I don't know about Muslim visitors), and I do not agree that most people are aware of it. People in Jerusalem's Old City and the Ben Gurion midrahov in West Jerusalem, where sometimes folks run around shlepping a large cross, might have heard about the syndrome.

I think the reasons why you felt so good in Israel and why I love living here might be others:

[1] Israel is an immigrants' country. Even if you were born in Israel, chances are that at least one of your parents has immigrated and brought with her/him different and/or strange customs.
[2] Judaism is a religion and culture with a lot of *explicit* rules. Learn the rules, which, for example, even include certain motions of the body and the eyes during prayer, follow them, and you fit in. There are also prescribed sets of rules for very emotional situations like death and mourning, dating'n'mating, illness etc. I lived close to Mea Shearim (the ultra-orthodox neighborhood) for years where physical or eye contact between men and women who are not related or married is not allowed. I still love shopping there. Yeah. Even married ultra-orthodox couples make hardly eye contact or touch in public.
[3] Israel is a very noisy place which might drive a lot of Aspies crazy. I, however, can cope with high-volume noise very well as it masks the sounds I am sensitive to like high-pitched sounds of electric appliances.
[4] I think, and I am aware that this theory is rather problematic, that Israel as a society is probably the most Aspie or Autistic society--and the fact that Jews are affected by Asperger's above average might contribute to this. It is, for example, absolutely okay to start talking to a complete stranger on the street, tell her that her yellow skirt does not look good on her, touch her shawl to arrange it differently, and go on with a long and winded story about your son's fiancee and your menopausal symptoms, including all intimate details. In the US, you might get arrested for this. And I am not making these examples up--they all happend to me. Empathy, on the other hand, is often expressed according set rules, see [2].

I moved to the UK long before I even suspected that I am an Aspie, and on a lot of other reasons: Private and professional. But: I must say, being a foreigner make Aspie-Live easier. I still have a strong German accent and so people are less confused when I miss the etiquette or have difficulties in understanding twists-of-tongue. They also not surprised when I use the English language in very formal and sometime hyper-correct manner, because this is way English is taught at schools.

Unfortunately this works only with relative strangers or occasionally. When you start working, than it is assumed that you will adopt behaviour pattern. Also other pattern will emerge which can't be so easy related to cultural differences.

In item 4 above you say AS and Autism is more frequent among Jews. Is this supported by any careful clinical study? If so, can you provide a reference or a pointer (TIA).

ruveyn

I have not been abroad very much. I only went to Mexico once. I did get to hitchike through Central Mexico, and here and there met people from all over the world.
I did notice a bit of what is being talked about. People were, for the most part extremely friendly and hospitable, but it helped that I had my socially outgoing traveling companion who was extremely good at schmoozing with people, and who could fluently speak Spanish.

I was talked down to by an eccentric Canadian photographer who's floor we slept on. He called me some weird names..but I think he was mad for other reasons. I think my traveling companion had flirted with his wife or something.

Instead of traveling abroad, I lead a bohemian lifestyle in my home town.
We create an environment where everyone is accepted and nobody has to live up to NT expectations...in fact, more often, NTs are expected to live to our expectations.

It will take me a day or two to look up the sources since I am a bit under stress right now, but I will post it here.