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That so harsh. Saying you should step down because you don't understand people. It's prejudice!

Well, for me people have thought it was no big deal or denied I had it altogether. I haven't told anyone that has tried to use it against me.

First of all, AS doesn't mean you don't understand people. HECK, the fact that you respond on YOUR terms gets rid of a lot of the meaningful difference. SECOND, NOBODY understands everyone all the time! THIRD, PAST ACTIONS should count more than belief. FOURTH, that jerk is OBVIOUSLY a trouble maker, so WHO SHOULD CARE!?!?!?

DON'T let it get to you!

As a person who has been "outed" for committing, shall I say, far more serious transgressions against societal norms, I am all too familiar with the type of situations and reactions you have experienced.

I can only offer to keep a few things in mind to maintain perspective.

1. An unexpected revelation of this sort is usually quite shocking, even to sensible people.
2. People's initial reactions tend to be irrationally extreme.
3. Some people "come around"; others don't. Some get worse, and some early supporters have a "change of heart".
4. There is a spectrum of reactions ranging from outright hatred and vitriol, through fear, discomfort, ambivalence, acknowledgement, reluctant acceptance, through completely supportive acceptance. People by nature tend to be uncomfortable around anyone who strikes them as "different".
5. Be comfortable with who you are and be respectful of everyone. Then if someone has a problem with you, it is their problem, not yours. You will encounter such people, so be prepared to ignore their reactions.
6. "Outings" will probably occur when you are least prepared to deal with them. Try to maintain composure in these situations (you can decompress later by yourself).
7. Resist the temptation to strike pre-emptively by telling everyone in sight. Share your news on a need-to-know basis.
8. You didn't choose to be autistic, and there is nothing wrong with you because you are. Enlighten the receptive mind and ignore the closed one.

I do hope that some of your forum inhabitants come around when they have a chance to reflect. Unless you feel that your ability to moderate is genuinely compromised, do not step down. You were moderating successfully even with AS before the, um, disclosure, so what has changed?

Hmm I am a moderator elsewhere too, have been it for almost 7 years. The other moderators know about my AS diagnosis, but they haven't told me to step down. (After all, they had known me as a moderator for 5 years, before I got diagnosed.)
But I'm sorry to hear about the prejudice you've met. That's unfair.
(Oh wait, I forgot I couldn't have empathy... am I 'cured' now then?)

Tell those people that those who are autistic are born that way. If you ave been doing your job correctly, you are exactly the same person you were before being outed. I came out about being an Autie last April, and to my surprise, most of the professionals I deal with had already suspected it.

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Ha, I make my living as a forum moderator. Doesn't bring in the money but...

Personally, I use a method where I post not as a mod but as a user and leave all my moderation to PMs. Best kept his way so as to make myself seem aloof amongst the users and the users get your perspective better.

If they're gonna act like that then screw their forum! Your a moderator, so screw with the posts and profiles of the people who pissed you off then leave

EDIT: In all seriousness, why not just ban the trolls for trolling?

We don't often blanket ban. We can but it doesn't happen as often as you'd think.
The forum does have issues with trolls/rules and all that. We have a warn system that we use.

Don't get me wrong, out of a forum of 11,000 or so members we have about 5 problem folk and even then they're not just there to troll. They just like a good old rattle around. In a way it makes the forum a lot of fun (up until folk are just disruptive) but like I say some folk go too far - dragging up personal details about someone from elsewhere does seem beyond the pale and was done out of malice.

Anyway, any gamers here feel free to come over and have a look. They're an irreverent bunch but it's a decent place. If you join then fling me a PM.

Well you use the same name so it is quite easy for people to find out so you kinda brought that one upon yourself, to be honest.

It seems that you are plugging the forum too much, too (just kidding )!

I haven't "come out" to anybody. Stories like yours inspire my to plod along in quiet desperation, and let people believe that I'm just eccentric or weird for no particular reason.

Don't mean to be snippy, but this is a Gaming Forum, right?

I would say, regardless of any supposed difficulty you might have "understanding people," you are uniquely equipped to understand gamers.

Seriously, you don't have to answer to people who simply parrot negative stereotypes in an effort to put you off guard or create doubt in the minds of the feeble minded.

Overall, coming out has been a good thing - though not ENTIRELY pleasant. It's been good because it moves the responsibility for constant adaptation from me to the rest of the world. Instead of a lifetime of trying to meet the expectations of everyone around me, I can now just be the best "me" I can, and expect them to be good human beings who adapt to my differences. They often fail, but it's *their* failure now, not mine.

Anyway, short answer for a big subject. Let me know if you want to talk.


Jeff Gitchel
ASAN Iowa
http://perseveration.org
[email protected]

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Nobody really had a problem with me mod'ing, but then again they had 30 mods for 300 active members so it wasn't all that difficult to do stuff I missed. I made up for it by sheer availability.