Action for Children's ill-fated Monster Dan advertising campaign hit a new all time low last night, leaving even seasoned observers, struggling for life as their brains failed to integrate the merciless onslaught of surrealism.
merciless onslaught of surrealism
During the break in the Everton v Liverpool football match, the advert featuring the autistic boy "Dan", cut on the line "I use to lash out" to a shot of a man being punched in the face and repeatedly kicked and beaten - seen in the video above.
punched in the face and repeatedly kicked and beaten
In what ITV called an "unprecedented technical error", the ad campaign exhausted the New Republic's supply of hyperbolic rhetoric and has left us desperately scrabbling for a Latin phrase to best describe this melange of half-baked, Soho ad-agency corporate onanism and spectacularly inflammatory stupidity.
unprecedented technical error
There needs to be an immediate inquiry to establish how this grossly offensive and provocative act happened. Unfortunately, due to a combination of two inches of snow paralysing a first world nation and the shock, horror and heart-ache of missing seeing a goal being scored, this cannot now take place.
shock, horror and heart-ache
Instead, all normal decency and respect for the feelings of a significant and disadvantaged minority of people will be rammed up Fabrice's arse to cry's of "one more for the Light Blues!", while Laurence attempts that really tricky riff from Black And Blue.
edgy new brand identity factor
Steve and Dan will be filming the event and it'll be repackaged as an edgy new brand identity factor and sold to the next high street retailer that wants to go bankrupt quickly.
hyperbolic rhetoric exhausted
Benneton Middleclass, Media Lickspittle, from the Help Autistic People and Parents In Extremis Society (H.A.P.P.I.E.S), said, "Ummm, like yah, well, I mean it'll all be over soon and I'm going off to work in Africa in a couple of months, 'cause I'm just so totally like humanitarian see, so yeah, whatever"