What "social rule" do you dislike the most?

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Glad to see so many others are mentioning the "How are you? Fine, and you?" social paradigm. It seems so unnecessary, and I feel embarrassed when I realize I've answered the question without the expected reciprocation.

It's also unpleasant to be in social situations where there's not a specific purpose. It's hard to tell what people are getting out of the situation unless there's an actual exchange of ideas and information, yet people carry on happily even when there's nothing particularly noteworthy being discussed.

And eye contact, also excruciating.

introductions. even got caught up in it here before i decided to post, was trying to figure out if it mattered if i hadnt introduced myself before joining in, and then realised it didnt really matter.

not diagnosed yet but have evaluated myself as honestly as possible and it all seems to point to some level of aspergers (read 404 pages on autism from this forum in 3 days (nights if im honest) plus alot of research on related sites, after a friend mentioned that poor eye contact is a symptom of autism) , however theres always the problem of conformation bias. and i dont want to waste the doctors time (and dont want to seem silly)
Toying with the idea of asking friends and family to look at the idea to get a more balanced opinion, which is trouble in itself

gonna stop there before i write an essay in the wrong place.

having to go to family functions

When I arrive at work, first thing I do is switch my computer on, then I take off my coat, then I make myself a cup of coffee, and the computer's ready to go by the time my coffee's made. Perfect.

So exactly what part of that means that I have to offer to make coffee or tea for everyone else in the office? Nobody's offering to make my coffee!

Another is having to announce your intent to use the bathroom before going. It's my bathroom!

Sticking with bathrooms, I've never understood people asking permission to go use your bathroom. What kind of evil twisted person would refuse? Sure, if it's your first time in my house, by all means ask me where my bathroom is, but after that, if you feel the need, just tell me you're going to the loo, don't make a song and dance about it.

All my friends know the deal though. If I get up and lift my coffee cup, and you want a cup of coffee, just reach me your cup, and I'll make you one. Say please if you want to. And if you ever ask permission to use my bathroom, I'll say no. Try it, it'll be one facial expression you'll fully understand!

I just thought of another one that makes me laugh.

Every Christmas (or "Holidays" as you Americans call it!), they go out and buy a big box of the cheapest Christmas cards they can find, and then they sit and lift out the cards one by one, don't even look at them or put any kind of choice or thought into it, they just go down a list of names, fill out the cards, put them in an envelope and post them out. Most of the people on the list, they've not had any contact with since they did the same thing the year before.

However! If one of the people you send a card out to don't send their own generic card back with a similar pithy "Gosh, hasn't the year flown in" greeting, they go into NT meltdown. They rave and rant (especially the women), and that person's name gets crossed off the list and never gets a card again!

Has anyone ever considered the possibility that perhaps it's not us that have the problem? Just because NTs are the majority doesn't mean they're normal!

Having to make small talk with loose acquaintances when you bump into them despite the fact that in your day to day life you barely remember they even exist.

When eating at a restaurant with a group, and some bright spark decides that everyone should contribute to the bill equally, even if you've only had a salad and are on a tight budget. Same with group shopping, even if you only want a can of soup. Naturally, I'd always refuse .

For me, the worst social rule is being told off for speaking your mind.

For example:

Girl: Does this dress look good on me?
Me: No it makes you look fatter
Girl: goes angry as hell.


well she asked me a question and I answered honestly! I don't get what;s bad about that. grrrrrr

i do not worry about social rules. it is not against the law to not obey social rules. i will never be penalized in any way that matters to me for not obeying social rules.

people may think i am an arseh0le or impaired or whatever, but i still have my life to be free in.

i am extremely formal and clinical in my way of dealing with people.
i have an aversion to informality except when at home late at night with friends. my friends all have some dysfunction (i have only 2 anyway) so they do not count as "the public".
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as to greetings:

i have never said "hi" to anyone. i say "good morning" or "good afternoon" or "good evening". "hi" seems to be too eager and.......i can not know why i do not like "hi". i do not mind people saying it to me, but i never will say it myself.
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as to partings:

i picked up the word "arrivederci" once and used that for a few years as my only way of saying "goodbye". then i branched out to use "sianarra" and "auf wiedersehen" as well. some times i say a relatively normal "see you later".
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as to "how are you"? :

when i was little i heard a doctor on a TV drama say "as well as can be expected under the circumstances" in response to someone asking how the patient was.
so that became my only answer to anyone who asked me how i was.

that caused people to worry and they asked me concernedly "oh no! what circumstances? are they bad?". i would have to reply that the circumstances were all very good, and i was feeling as well as could be expected under them.

nevertheless, i still used that phrase until about 16. then i truncated "under the circumstances", and just said "as well as can be expected".

after a few years, i started using weather report terminology to say how i was. i still use this terminology and i can not break the habit.

my main response to "how are you" is "fair to moderate" these days.

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as to shaking hands:

i do not resent having to do it, but i see no reason to, and i can not do it with "feeling".
it is a throwback to times when people shook hands to demonstrate they were unarmed.

i often become difficult when it is time to shake hands because i have thought of so many funny scenarios about shaking hands when they extend their hand to me.

once i thought to say (but did not say it) "i do not need you to shake my hand as i can shake my own hand. see?" and then i imagined stimming and flapping my hands, and accidentally slapping his face over and over. i snorted in laughter as i grabbed his hand and that was not a good action considering the demeanor of the hand extender.

another time i imagined i had a huge diamond on a ring on my finger. it was the size of a walnut. i imagined while waiting for the CEO of a company to meet me, that before he extended his hand to me when meeting me, i would extend my hand to him in a way that i expected him to kiss my diamond ring as if i was a king.
i ruminated over that thought but i tried to suppress it, and when he appeared and walked toward me i started into laughter even before he extended his hand.
i have had countless scenarios run through my mind to make me laugh when people extend their hands.

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i have no problem with saying "thankyou". it comes easily to me. i have a mild problem saying "please".
i transpose "please" and "thankyou" in my mind and use the "thankyou" routine for saying "please".


example: "yes i'll have those papers over there thankyou", instead of "could you please bring me those papers over there".

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there is much more i can say, but my post is too long now and i know it will not be read anyway.

i just post so i can reread it in 20 years and say "hmmm. that is how i was then huh?"