Cruel(lest) ways you've been rejected?

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Many things NTs do are out of precaution and not selfishness as it seems. People (except Aspies) have Theory of Mind, therefore they know instinctively that as well as THEY are capable of stealing their friends' friends, their friends can do the same to them. We Aspies have more painful rejection stories because, not having ToM, we're less careful of what might happen, we never see it coming, it takes us totally by surprise and unprotected, etc. etc.

The same happens with job openings. I used to tell people where I had had my last interview. Not anymore, even to my closest. People will always tell someone, and that someone will tell someone, and you're only creating more competition for yourself that way. It's happened to me that my friend's friend ended up landing the position I had interviewed for. How did it happen, such a big coincidence? Hmmm....

I'm really sorry that everyone has gone through all of these things. It makes me sad. People do not understand the impact they are having.

When I was about 4 years old, there were a lot of kids around my age in the neighborhood that played together. I wanted so much to be a part of the group because my sister was. One day when I new that they were all playing in the neighbors back yard across the street, I asked my mom if I could go out to play. She let met, but she warned me not to go this neighbors house. I did anyway. I walked through the gate into the backyard eager to play with kids. As soon as the others heard the gate close, they took one look at me and yelled "oh no!" simultaneously. I was never good at reading social cues, but I sure new what that meant.

When I was a little older, I road my bike around my block. There were some kids I did play with sometimes. I thought they were friends at the time. They really just tolerated me. One particular day, they must have known that I was on my way up the street on my bike, because they were waiting for me. I passed them on my bike, they came running after me on foot and threw rocks at me. One was really big and could have really hurt me. Fortunately, they had very bad aim!

I know most of the posts here took place later in life and sound worse than mine. But at the time, these incidents really hurt. This is the only place I have every talked about it. Thanks for listening.

Innumerable times, so I could choose a random event I remember still. In 7th grade (age 12) I had to take Health (yes, includes sex ed, etc). Our teacher was the school nurse.

For a class activity our teacher had each one of write 'one good thing/quality' about each and every one of our classmates - like one of those (stupid) 'self-esteem building' activites - whatever that means. She instructed us to say something nice and with honesty - I took her seriously and all students were given blank slips with each classmates name for us write, anonymously.

Some students I didn't really know but I wrote comments like, "He's very good at history projects" "She has pretty clothes and is very nice to others."

Then, our teacher was to read each anonymous compliment aloud in class for each one of us. When she got to my name she would read the slip (to herself), then put the slip of paper back in the box since, quite obviously, what was written about me wasn't nice. 7th graders can be cruel and don't always follow the rules since the activity was anonymous.

I still remember, slip of paper after slip of paper, and silence. Out of the whole class I got 2 she could read aloud (both said, she's so pretty - the smartest girl). But the entire rest of the class had nothing constructive to say and I can only guess what was on the other slips of paper. I cried in class and no one said anything. My father had died just weeks prior too.
Still hurts.

Well, I can also relate with group work problems. It's not as bad now, but if we're doing a presentation, I tend to do more work. Thankfully, usually we're getting individually marked, so it doesn't matter. People just ignore me and disregard my opinions at times.
The most occurring is probably the COUNTLESS times when I'd be sitting at the dinner table with my old friends(I don't even bother making any, if people want to talk to me, they know where to find me[at the bench reading or at the library on the computers]) and they'd talk about how they were all going to the cinemas and not ask once if I wanted to go. Or how they'd all be going to one of my friend's birthdays right in front of me. Or how they'd all be going to town. I'm not going to lie, it really po'd me off, the number of times I tried to organize a gathering and they'd all be busy, only to find they were clearly avoiding me. I really hate the way they lead me on to finally say they didn't want to talk to me(I said one of them isn't a goth[she labels herself something new every week...]).
Oh, and the definite worse, when my supposed best friend got ME to ask out MY ex for her... he said no, but I still just think that was an incredibly mean thing to do...
As said before, I just don't try any more. If people want to talk to me they can but I'm not wasting my time trying when they'll most likely b***h about me behind my back and worse. I don't understand what I've done so wrong to make them have that much hatred towards me. Sometimes I just sit there in class gripping my pen trying not to cry because someone reminded me of something a friend had done and it all comes flooding back.
I'm not asking for sympathy, because I know there's been worse and I don't really care anymore, it can't happen when I don't ask(as in be friends with someone), thus it won't happen again.
EMZ.

Here's one that happened to my AS son, but it hurt me.

We live in a row of townhouse, and out front is a grassy "common area". There used to be a lot of kids that played there. My son was outside, and this other kid, who is about a year older, came out, too. The older kid moped around for a bit and looked terribly bored. Then a car drove up and this family, with a few kids, got out. Those kids came running, and this kid said, "Oh, thank GOD!! I was so BORED!! ! There was NO ONE to play with!! !"

My son was standing right there, and would have loved to have someone play with him.

That whole group of kids, and their horrible parents, were ALWAYS like that. That was just one example that comes to mind. They'd have these huge block parties, and, while we were technically invited, if my son tried to interact with the other kids, those other kids would completely shut him out, in a really mean way. And the parents would just laugh and smile, and shout mumbling words at my son, like, "Huuuh??? Wannaplayball? Huh? Donwannaplay? Nuh?? " My son would get confused, and everyone would get all annoyed that he was standing in the way (in front of our house). Then, being confused and nervous, he would have a major aspie moment and do something weird. Then I'd be embarrassed (not understanding his AS) and do something weird.


The parents would stand around and look at our family (mostly my son, and me, with my own awkwardness) like they might "catch" whatever creepy disease we had.

Ugh! Thank goodness they've all grown up or moved away.

I just wanted to say: I like this thread and I like Wrong Planet.

A month ago I met a girl at work.

(with such a beginning you already know the story is going to hurt)

In the recesses we sometimes talked and got to know each other just enough to say hi on the corridors. One day two female coworkers told me that everyone at work knew about us, and from the exclusive information these two had managed to collect, this girl was expecting me to make a move.

So I invited her out for next Saturday. Nothing specific; just to reserve the day and then we'd think of something to do. But then the Saturday came. I called her cell phone in the morning and she said she already had plans for a party. I didn't even suggest that I could join her; very evidently I wasn't invited, and if she wanted my company there, she would have said it herself.

A few days later I tried as subtly as I could to invite her again, but since then she has been even more subtly avoiding me. When I try to approach her in a group of people, she finds the perfect timing to say goodbye and only wave at me in passing. In one conversation she explained that she had a very active social life--of which she had none when we had just met. Very quicky she has become good friends with everyone at work, and the weirdest character has more chances to talk to her in an ordinary day than do I.

Not to mention the friends I find logged in IM and who log out as soon as I say hello...

I was always the one who was left out of things, and right before my family moved across town, a few people wrote nasty things in my 7th grade yearbook. Earlier that year, we all took health class, and during a lesson about FAS and other pregnancy problems, everyone looked at me, and kept asking if my mom did any drugs while she was pregnant with me, which wasn't the case at all. I had faced rejection in elementary school, but that particular year was the absolute worst, and those things mentioned really hurt.