At what age do you think your social skills are stuck?

Page 3 of 3 [ 41 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

nothingunusual
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 511
Location: Belfast, Ireland.

03 Mar 2009, 2:18 pm

An eight year old...
A extremely shy and unsure eight year old. :?


_________________
For time has imprisoned us,
In the order of our years,
In the discipline of our ways,
And in the passing of momentary stillness.
We can see our chaos in motion.


illogicaljim
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
Location: Scotland

03 Mar 2009, 5:52 pm

I would say that my social skills have not improved since I was 12 and even then I was socially immature in relation to my peers.



Homer_Bob
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,562
Location: New England

03 Mar 2009, 10:14 pm

It depends on the person. My social skills didn't start to decline until I was 12 years old. Before that age, I fit in school just fine and had friends. I don't know what happened after that, honestly. I think maybe when I was younger, social skills weren't really required and there was no emotional problems. I guess after 12 years old, social skills become increasingly important and the demands for socialization become much more complex. It was something I didn't adapt to like everyone else did.



Dragonfly_Dreams
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 451

03 Mar 2009, 10:24 pm

My classmates in Kindergarten passed me in social skills. Thats when I really felt I didn't fit. I can remember it well. I loved school. I LOVED the paperwork, the books we got to write in, the projects. I loved the organization and the flow of the day! Then gradually as the year went on recess became harder and harder. I hated it. Riding the bus was hard for me. It wasn't long before my love for school itself was gone because of the social demands.



Mudboy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,441
Location: Hiding in plain sight

03 Mar 2009, 10:34 pm

12-14


_________________
When I lose an obsession, I feel lost until I find another.
Aspie score: 155 of 200
NT score: 49 of 200


pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

03 Mar 2009, 10:41 pm

My social skills have improved a lot in the last couple of years, and I'm still seeing improvements. But I still feel like a 14-16 year old.



Learning2Survive
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,777

03 Mar 2009, 10:47 pm

Mudboy wrote:
12-14


same here. i'd say my social skills are at the fifth grade level or lower. in fact i know five year old's who understand people better than I...



Whimsi-Cal
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 3 Mar 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 120

04 Mar 2009, 6:39 am

For the most part I would describe my social interaction with others as indifferent. I really didn't care about anyone else but myself, quite literally. I found most people to be extremely boring unless they were talking about one of my interests. Beyond interests I didn't really have any desire to interact.

I have a couple problems interfering with my social skills. The first one is the auditory processing problems (like hearing train instead of brain). People who mumble or speak improperly are impossible for me to understand. I don't have any problems understanding educated people who speak clearly. I don't follow social rules and I can take things overly literal.

If I had to pick an age I would say 10-14.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,265

04 Mar 2009, 9:46 am

I'm not sure where my social skills are, I think they fluctuate. That, and when I look around in public places it seems like most people here have lousy social skills. Of course, there are exceptions. Is it possible for an entire area to have lousy social skills? It's not because they have autism, it's because they never really learned how to be polite. The place I live is the type of place where people don't want to be polite. They don't see the need. I've often thought this is one of the rudest places in the US and I've lived other places. This is definitely one of the rudest places I've ever been.
Because of this, I wonder if there's any point to improving my social skills, The ones who notice my mother's social skills aren't from here anyway, mostly they moved here from other states and they stop by where she works and that's when they notice how "friendly" she is. The ones who live here don't really care. If they see someone being polite they call it "snooty" and dismiss it and get offended. It really is a weird place to live.
I went to a therapist once, it was one my mother had been going to. The therapist wanted me to read a book titled Self Esteem but most of it was about empathy. I can remember finding the book at a local bookstore (where the therapist said I would find a copy) and skimming through the chapters and marveling that the subject of empathy kept resurfacing throughout the book.
It left a profound impression on me and significantly worried me at the same time. Is this really what people think of me? That I have no empathy??? I instantly thought of all the times throughout my childhood my own mother didn't seem to care what was happening to me and dismissed the hell I was experiencing. I couldn't help but think that after noticing the emergence of a le motife. All I could think of was how unfair it was and I began to cry. Then I felt a sense of indignation. In my mind, I started counting the number of times I could remember where no one and I do mean no one had absolutely no empathy whatsoever for me and what I was experiencing. Time and time again I recalled specific incidents and I felt even more indignant. It was so unfair to me. Why weren't these other people given copies of empathy books explaining it to them? I was so distraught I couldn't go thru the therapy sessions. My feelings were hurt and I felt once again I had been taken advantage of.