Does it feel this way to anyone?

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Does it feel like to any of you people expect others to read their minds and be psychics?


What I mean by knowing how they are feeling without them telling you and knowing what they mean when they use double meanings and expect you to read between the lines and they say things and expect you to do the opposite like when they say they don't want anything they really do want you to get them something.

Also expecting people to know how they will feel and stuff. I call that being psychic. It just feels that way to me.

I think their expecting that you'll pick up on non-verbal cues or their body language.

People who use double meanings, hoping you'll read between the lines, only do that because they don't want to be the one to voice it. I think they're hoping that if they give you enough clues, you'll voice it and bring it up... which of course would then likely make them feel flattered.... flattered that someone 'thought' of them, when in reality, they forced the thought.

Hope that makes sense ...lol

edit:....a form of self gratification I guess.

Spokane_Girl, I know exactly what you mean. My fiance does this crap to me all of the time. I have told her many times, I am not a mind reader. I am not psychic. I'm not Miss Cleo. Does she listen? NO, she does not.

In fact, NT women are worse with this than NT men.

Why do NT women presume you or I can read their mind, Spokane_Girl? Is there a logical explanation for this? You've been living with your (husband or boyfriend I don't remember which) for a while now. Are NT men the same way?

By the way, when I say and ask her all this I'm called an as*hole by her.

From what I have learned about normality on here and in books about AS about what we can't do, people have this super power where they can read body language and non verbal cues and social cues and know how people are going to feel and they seem like they can imagine things and know how they would feel about something even if they have never experienced it before. I'm not sure how people know how someone else would feel if they did X to them and know they won't react they same way they would react if it happened to them. I think people are weird when they react differently or feel differently than me. I know not everything thinks the same or reacts the same or likes the same things, etc. so how are we supposed to know how someone would react? So it's best to not do it at all to them or ask them first if they like this happening to them and if they say "no," respect their wishes by not doing it to them. It just saves us the trouble of having people getting mad at us.

Your fiancee doesn't sound like a nice person, I would run if I were you. She seems stupid too because she doesn't listen.

At least my bf doesn't expect me to be a mind reader or be psychic but he can be stupid at times such as not listening to "leave me alone."

Oh yes, certainly. Indeed as a boy I did think people could read minds and that my difficulties lay in my not being able to do so.

I feel like this quite often, so strongly that it drove me to actually respond here. A repartee I've built up over time and been waiting to use is "I'm sorry I failed Mind Reading 101."

I found it rather infuriatingly frustrating to watch other people toss around a handful of words, and suddenly "everyone else" knows (or seem to know...) exactly what to do, when, where. I thought it had to do with a base of shared experience and prior communication, but I saw these kinds of exchanges with completely new people meeting (first-year students on first day of classes), so that couldn't be it. I chalked it up to either "secret language everyone knows but won't write down/share with me" or "gigantic codebook of code words that everyone else memorizes" (think spy movies). "Mind-reading" wouldn't have been too far off the mark.

Going through these forums, I know now that it's non-verbal cues (so it's the first, but not entirely secret). But, still, in conversations, I often get the feeling that I'm supposed to be steered/steering towards a particular line of exchange, but because I don't know where that is, I tend to veer towards some random and vaguely-related topic. It would be easier if I could just read their mind and know what they're looking/waiting for... it would avoid those time-consuming verbal meanderings where a question about "life goals" ends up into a comparison to goal-oriented programming, solution searches, and path-finding. Time-consuming, because I know (now) that's not what they're looking for, but I guess it's my way of hinting, "Tell me up-front, with specificity, what the heck you want to hear!"

This bothers me all the time - all these behavioural and language codes, 'double-speak', innuendo etc... that people use. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't lie in bed at night wondering, hang on a minute - what did they actually mean when they said...., did they mean this? or did they mean that? - weigh up the evidence, try to make the best conclusion, but still uncertain. It's so frustrating. A lot of people may be fluent in using and interpreting implied meanings in language and behaviour, but if you ask me, I think its a part of the reason the world is messed up. Why have people developed such duplicitous means of communicating?

Spokane_girl, she does not listen at all and she can be presumptious. The woman has a very dominating personality. She will not listen if I tell her to leave me alone or she will leave me alone and after I calm down she tries to make me feel guilty about it restarting the arguing again and my about to meltdown again.

I have difficulty passing interviews. She makes me do mystery shops. I am not sure if you have heard of mystery shopping. Here are the problems:

1. They're too ad-hoc and there is no routine
2. I have major problems memorizing the conversation and interactions that took place.
3. I have major problems memorizing the directions in the shops because the shop has many directions in them.
4. New types of shops can come up and I have to memorize them in this quick and ad-hoc manner.

I have had failure after failure with this woman. I have been talking to another aspie about this and he's been helping me alot. He talked me out of commiting suicide on a particular date.

In these shops, you have to pretend to be a customer and rate how the sales person did.

I could go on and on about this.

I know somebody who used to be very open and very friendly. And she's an Aspie. Now, she keeps secrets, and disappears for very long periods of time. It's been two months since I heard from her, and I sent her a few e-mails since then, letting her know how things were with me. But she never answered. Out of fear that her disappearance might have been because of something I may have said, and out of concern, I asked her how things were going, and asked if I said anything that she might have found offensive.

No reply.

If you want to read an interesting paper by George Orwell, go to this link: http://orwell.ru/library/essays/politic ... sh/e_polit

It's called Politics and the English Language. He was the one who wrote Animal Farm and 1984. This is one of my special interests. I truly think our english language is being corrupted and is more corrupt since Orwell's time.

Cool, I will get around to reading that paper after work. Speaking of Orwell - I am a fan of his writing, and others like the Brontes, Austen, and Salinger, for example. I feel so happy reading their work because of their beautiful and precise command of the English language.

I'm sure a lot of international relations/political problems are a result of semantic problems.

Yes, it certainly does.

People also think they're reading my mind. They think I'm non-verbally telling them things I'm not.

I am guilty of breaking Orwell's rules too. Little-Bird, I think this is why we have problems understanding NTs. We need precison in speech and we demand it. I hate dealing in vaguness in language. This makes me believe this person is trying to lie to me. Multiple meanings come from vauge language and speech.

Little-Bird have you, Spokane_Girl, or anyone here have had to ask an NT 7-8 questions to figure out what the NT meant in what they said? With my fiance, I have to ask at least 3-4 questions.

Yeah sometimes. I'm getting decent at it though.

heehee. Yeah, without fail. In the least, I follow up everything that anyone says with: "What do you mean exactly?" or "What's that supposed to mean?" I feel the same way about imprecise language and that opaque or vague speech means the person is being duplicitous in some way. I find language and linguistics fascinating. Okay, I gotta go to work now.

Spokane_Girl, if you want we can exchange stories about our respective partners. If you do not that is fine.