I lived through hell!

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I had always felt different from others and I became more aware of this in my adolescents, when I started at senior school.
I am now thirty one years old and in December 2008 was diagnosed as suffering with Asperger’s Syndrome, something my parents had considered a possibility over recent years.
In 2006, I started to feel depressed. I sought help from my G.P. and was given anti-depressants which failed to work. My medication was increased but still to no avail. 2007 came and went. I had encountered problems with my relationship with my partner and sadly we parted. I also had problems with my job. I have no concept of time and money which led to many problems. I struggled through 2008. Once again I was given anti-depressants which again failed to work. By this time I was beginning to feel frustrated, confused and angry. I needed help but couldn’t articulate my feelings. In October 2008, I was admitted to hospital with numbness down one side of my body. I was informed that this was possibly a side effect of the drugs. Things became worse, I was now unable to work, and told I would not be able to obtain Income Support. I fell behind with my rent and my debts were mounting. In November, of last year, I attempted to take my own life by swallowing one hundred and sixty paracetamol. I was found and taken to hospital and sectioned under the Mental Health Act. I was transferred to another two hospitals. On 15th November I was discharged after being assessed by the Assessment Team. I still needed help. I still felt very low and wanted the emotional pain to go away. With no where to go, no money and having not eaten properly for a number of days, I wanted to end it all again. Eventually, with the help of my family, I was found by the police and taken to another hospital where I was placed on an open ward. I began to feel calmer. I was given a sleeping tablet to make me sleep but on waking, I felt angry and needed to get out of the hospital. I walked out and was later arrested by the police. I was sectioned again and transferred to a hospital in London as there were no available places in the area where I was living. It was hell! I was later transferred back to a hospital closer to home and placed on a secure ward. I was given different anti-depressants and a drug to help with my anger, both of which I am still taking. I was discharged on New Year’s Eve. Generally I am feeling better. I am living alone, which is something I need to do, as I need my own space most of the time.
I don’t like too much noise and bright lights.
This is my account of what has happened to me as an Asperger sufferer.
There are many, many people like me, in society. Many people go through their lives, without ever receiving a diagnosis. This is a life long condition. Many like myself, will probably have struggled at school. Some being labelled as naughty, never receiving the help they so require from the education system. Some will leave school without any formal qualifications, feeling worthless and suffering with low self esteem.
If these people can receive the help and support they so desperately need, their lives, and the lives of their families and friends can be made easier. With good understanding and knowledge, Asperger sufferers need not end up in the situation I have found myself.
I want more and more people to be made aware of this condition, particularly professionals, Teachers, G.P.s Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Police, Magistrates etc.
If you are reading this article, you may know someone with this condition or you may think you have it yourself. There is help out there!

My goodness, you have been through the wringer.

You have certainly come to the right place. And I agree with you, the earlier the diagnosis and acceptance, the better for the individual involved. Hopefully here at WP, you'll be able to focus on the things working well for you, and the things you are good at, rather than being left alone to deal with your frustrations. Best wishes to you.

Dude, after all that, somehow you managed to find a computer with an internet connection. Good for you!

The thing is, you're preaching to the choir. Everyone here has Autism in some form, and we've all got our own horror stories. Although you've gone quite a bit over the top. If you feel like killing yourself, an internet message board is not the place to call for help. Try the English version of 911.

And have a happy day.

i have been through similar scenarios in my life. WP is good because one finds identification. when i first came here i thought i would be the only one with rabid and hard stories of life on the streets, psych units, prison etc.

But what i did find is there are MANY MANY ASD people here who have had very painful journeys and who have struggled incredibly...particularly some of the older ones.

good luck and welcome.

Hi aac3450. I hope things are improving for you.