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Linasgirl
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21 Mar 2009, 9:36 am

My problem is that I do not know how to approach someone. I get so obsessed about how to begin and how inadequate I feel that I wind up doing nothing. This video describes me really well.

LG

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTqTpISsB44[/youtube]



Vulcan
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21 Mar 2009, 10:53 am

i have the same problem with not getting started....and since i started to find out about ASD ive been even more sensitive to this as now i think that i would need to find a partner who can stand being with someone who will have issues for life...i guess its all down to focus...and my hypotheses is that if i just try to enjoy my life things will fall into place...as then i dont focus so much on the lack of love ect...to put it short...

earlier in my life i was alot more forward and so i have been in many relationships..but things have changed...



Learning2Survive
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21 Mar 2009, 11:20 am

here is the protocol.

come up within an arm's length to a person
look at their face
You: "Hi, how are you?"
Person: "Good. How are you?"
You: "I'm doing well."

this is called an ice breaker. it is a must when you first start talking. it always follows this pattern. the trick is to answer "I'm good. How are you?" instead of anything else.

Then, once you did the ice breaker thing, you ask a general question.

You: "How did you find out about this event?"
Person: "I saw flyers outside and I live nearby. So i just walked. How about you?"
You: "I found out about this event through meetup.com Are you familiar with this site?"
Person: "No, not really."
You: [follow up with a question about what the person said] "You live close by, so did you know about this place?"
Person: "No, I had no idea."

after that it can be hard to continue the conversation, but it is still good practice. when the other person stops talking much, you can say

You: "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you. Enjoy the rest of the evening"
Person: "You too."

P.S. does this help?


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Yohn
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21 Mar 2009, 11:57 am

Hello.
I have had difficulty with relationships. My psychologist said in her statement that I agree with my approach is not thinking emotionally, apparently so different my view related proceeding against many of the normal population.

On average, so each individual had a 5.4 and you should then invest in a relationship which, according to probability theory is doomed to failure.

They do not go bad, but probably they are not very many who are left in the "I will always love you", they are not many such couples.

Hope you do not think I am too cynical now:)

Even though I am around 25 years, I have never allowed me to be "in love".

I am sure I am an individual who wants complete control of everything, both good and evil.

But I am not one to grieve me, I only have not only time / power to waste on things that are likely will cost more energy than they will give.

Hope you do not think I am too pessimistic, but I have difficulty with those hypocritical and paint a chimera for others like myself do not believe.

I do not mean that you have those intentions with your thoughts on this. So do not read those in any implied meaning that I not want to convey. I wanted to go out and go for a walk, been running all day, so may be good to relax.



artemisasimetra
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21 Mar 2009, 7:50 pm

This video describes me perfectly.

The music is very nostalgic, and the images of those women are very good.

I always have had problems with relationships, and I think if the Internet was not here, I could not have any hope.

Nena Aragon´s videos are awesome.



Zyborg
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21 Mar 2009, 7:55 pm

Linasgirl wrote:
My problem is that I do not know how to approach someone. I get so obsessed about how to begin and how inadequate I feel that I wind up doing nothing. This video describes me really well.

LG

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTqTpISsB44[/youtube]


I have had one very long relationship. But I kicked her out.

She only wanted to fiddle on me. That makes me uncomfortable.



Homer_Bob
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21 Mar 2009, 8:23 pm

I can't approach anyone, I'm too afraid. I just accept the fact that I'll probably be alone which I'll learn to deal with. It will get better with age.



Linasgirl
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21 Mar 2009, 9:12 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
I can't approach anyone, I'm too afraid. I just accept the fact that I'll probably be alone which I'll learn to deal with. It will get better with age.


I used to believe that I would be alone for the rest of my life too. But You Tube and forums like this one have helped me a lot. I have met many nice people and one very special person who loves me just as I am. I met her through YouTube.

LG



Vulcan
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22 Mar 2009, 5:48 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx7WFTQsElI[/youtube]


this is the best:)



Linasgirl
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22 Mar 2009, 7:31 pm

I love Lev's work. This is one of his best!

LG



Zyborg
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22 Mar 2009, 7:36 pm

I am living in celibacy right now.

Only thing which bothers me with girls not approaching me is that I then have no reason to tell them how little valued they are by me.



22 Mar 2009, 8:02 pm

I'm too shy to approach people to I had to take it through online. Luckily women aren't expected to approach women so women wait for men to come to them. Of course women can approach men too.



Linasgirl
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22 Mar 2009, 9:10 pm

Zyborg wrote:
I am living in celibacy right now.

Only thing which bothers me with girls not approaching me is that I then have no reason to tell them how little valued they are by me.


This is a terrible thing to say. I feel sad.

LG



SabbraCadabra
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22 Mar 2009, 9:51 pm

The only girls I've dated were either friends of friends, or people I met through the Internet (or both)...both situations make the whole ordeal a whole lot easier.

Of course, there's still the awkward "Oh, thought you should know, I like like you." parts, and the parts where it doesn't quite work out...but they're a lot easier than they seem once you get there.

Plus, even if it doesn't work out, it's a good learning experience for the future.

I have no idea how it works for females though, like how much it's different, or whatever.


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Spinetrak
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23 Mar 2009, 6:31 am

Linasgirl wrote:
My problem is that I do not know how to approach someone. I get so obsessed about how to begin and how inadequate I feel that I wind up doing nothing. This video describes me really well.

LG

Right now, I'm in the middle of not beginning something, though I'd really like to. I just can't. Drives me crazy.


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Vulcan
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23 Mar 2009, 11:38 am

Zyborg wrote:
I am living in celibacy right now.

Only thing which bothers me with girls not approaching me is that I then have no reason to tell them how little valued they are by me.


arent we the happy one (irony).. perhaps you should try to think more positive?