panic attack at a bachelorette party

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Yeah, I can relate to almost all of that. For me, a lot of this comes down to particular night where I was drinking to be able to function socially, but things were going *very* badly, and the people were co-workers, and... to leave out all the details, circumstances formed an impossible situation where I couldn't hide, couldn't leave, couldn't even sit in my car in the parking lot, and was about about to totally lose it (meltdown) in front of people I had to see at work. I vowed never to let myself end up in such a horrible situation again, and that meant drinking had to become more complicated, and sometimes not possible (and I need something if it's going to last more than minutes)

As far as Japan, I suppose it's literally the lack of Calvinist/Christian roots in the culture. I always found the idea that people need massive guilt or tomorrow everyone turns into dysfunctional drunks a little ridiculous. Like how shame-of-the-body also doesn't exist in Japan, but people don't go running around naked inappropriately or obnoxiously.

As far as drinking goes...I would have loved to have been able to. I was at a resturaunt where there was no alcohol served. I was with one girl who barely drinks, one girl who does not drink at all, and their friend who is a bit more "drink-friendly" and who had earlier brought the bottle of wine, of which I had had a few thimblefulls...before the batchelorette remarked on how heavily I seemed to be drinking.
I woulda killed for a shot of tequila or something...and I don't even really like tequila.

Um...It would have been good if I had brought some xanax or some blue lotus, but I overestimated my ability to just be able to hang out. I guess the warning sign was me sitting nervously on the couch digging around for my emergency cache, but all I could come up with was a little gob of kava paste wrapped in wax paper.

Howyousay...

Meanwhile, while we sat soberly discussing unpleasant female topics, like never wanting to have children, and every other thing I said was loaded with the potential to somehow offend someone...... the batchelor party was off someplace....getting trashed and falling off their bicycles.

You're not kidding around: the Atlanta Metro Area's the size of Israel!


And strictly in that order, too...

..and regarding the drinking...I don't drive in the first place...

There was a "designated driver" for the carpool even though nobody was even close to being tipsy.

Also...I know (regarding what someone else said) that AS+Alcohol does not=NT, but for me, it certainly takes the edge off sometimes.

For all I know, I can be even more AS-ish when drinking but I am able to be in public for a lot longer before I start freaking out.

Which reminds me.... ...I could not stop repeating myself...making the noise of the microfiche machine over and over again...repeating over and over the time line of my experience as a library aide...one of the topics of discussion.....

I should just stick to hanging around my freaky guy friends and leave it at that...

I am over it...but still can't face them...I am supposed to perform at the wedding....need to find a way to politely cancel.

I grow up in a small village in the very western parts of German: There was an interesting cultural aspect with alcohol. Alcohol was accepted as a part of daily life, even an integrated part of daily life. But: It was also seen as devastating for an adult to get drunk. The social rules demanded from anybody to consume only in moderation

It occurred to me that I overlooked the scariest piece of "Poopie's" entire scenario! The dreaded Bachelorette Party! Even with alcohol, it's aspie-chick hell.

Even WORSE (if you can imagine) than a baby shower but not quite as bad as an alcohol-free Tupperware party.

Nothing makes me feel more like the "odd man out" than a bunch of women talking about marriage, sex, and love. Ewwww....

I still get willies thinking about this last one - where I was friends with the groom. And the fiancee kept talking about all this really personal stuff and all the bridesmaids, giggling cousins, sisters and weirdo co-workers were passing around all this sex shop stuff. It was awful and I ended up ditching the bride and wedding party and going back to play video games and party with the guys. (Hmmmm...I guess that WAS a meltdown).

The bachelorette party ended up really pissed at me because I was supposed to be the navigator and they ended up getting lost in a bad part of town.

And the last baby shower I went to, after oohing and aahing at fugly yellow baby jammies - I got the hell out of there, went awol with the guys. It was the best time - we went ATV-ing and drinking at an abandoned shooting range in the woods behind the house. (in my chiffon dress!) My husband is one of the guys - so I'm like the little sister. Nothing skanky.

All girl parties make me very nervous.

Just carry a couple of tabs of Xanax in your wallet/purse if it's a panic attack (it shouldn't knock you out). I carry Valium in my wallet as it's more of a CNS depressant and anticonvulsant, in addition to the anti-anxiety effects; it helps with my sensory overload when it gets too much. I can handle more noise and movement (eyes and ears). Sensory problems are my biggest hurdle outside (since my social ability is non-existent in person...), so I've tried many things, and Valium is the best for such.

Just tell a GP you have AS, and you need such for extreme situations (not as a crutch, but as a wheelchair), and you'll get a script. There's no point in suffering if there's something that can help.

Alcohol doesn't do much compared to Xanax/Valium, as it's a mild sedative.

I would like something for anxiety that I don't have to take all the time.

My panic attacks, anxiety & obsessive thoughts really taught me a lot about who my friends (and family) really were. Anyone who has ever judged me for being dealt the cards I've been dealt to play, no longer has a spot in my life. And trust me, there were a LOT of people (NT I assume....) that could just NOT wrap their mind around the idea of the smell of perfume when walking through a department store, would make me feel as though I was losing control.
The ones who've held my hand, guided me to the door and safely out of the situation, are the kind of friends I call keepers. The ones who pushed me to challenge my fears, or to challenge the things that make me feel "weird" are the ones I've kept around. Who in the hell would 'decide' to have a panic attack to get attention??? I know, I know, there are the hysterics, but come on ....I wouldn't wish panic on my worst enemy, let alone do it for kicks.

I find most of my panic and anxiety comes from my heightened awareness of things that other people seem not to notice, for example, the way my hearts beating, the smell of 10 thousand fragrances at once, flourescent lights flickering & buzzing. It's easy to see why NT's would think I was out of my mind, for having a flickering light making me feel like I was going to die... but to people with sensory issues, I'm pretty sure all of it makes sense.

Don't beat yourself up too much... and don't medicate longterm with booze. (I know I ALWAYS feel better with a drink in hand, but adding an addiction to the situation isn't going to help long term) Keep challenging yourself, dare yourself ...the more times you prove to yourself that you'll come out of it just fine in the end, the more cemented a new way of dealing with it becomes. Good luck, you're in my thoughts.

Sue

Xanax. I don't know why all the hoopla - but then I've never taken more than one at a time. It works quickly and you don't even notice it until you think "Hey, where'd my freak-out go?"(Heart palpatations and constricting larynx in my case)

I take xanax for everything from dealing with the in-laws to deadlines - but only as necessary. Like other posters, I also carry one around for emergencies - I pretend I'm a spy with a cyanide tablet - makes it more cool.

I've heard all kinds of warnings about alcohol and xanax but I haven't had any problems. That I remember.

One last note - I take zoloft so I am reliant on a daily thing. But it's so worth it. I don't seem to have any side-effects. The only downside is I forget to take it daily or forget if I've taken it. I'ts generic so its cheap and still covered by my crappier-by-the-day health insurance.

I'm still the same screwed-up, dynamic, creative, neurotic, ADHD weirdo I've always been but I don't have the constant, gnawing anxiety or the occassional suicidal thoughts. And the social anxiety is much easier to work on and through.

Xanax would fit the bill then, or if you preferred something longer lasting, Valium (it has a half-life of 30 hours or so, but the effect isn't as quick as Xanax, but Xanax only has a half-life of an hour or so).

Acute anxiety: Xanax or Valium [or another Benzodiazepine], depending on what you'd prefer
Sensory overload: Valium or another anticonvulsant combined with anti-anxiety effects (they are all of the same family, except stuff like Tegretol, but I haven't tried that for sensory overload, only seizures)

As I said, a pill or two in your wallet/purse if you go out to somewhere that might cause unbearable anxiety, and taking it as needed, is the preferred treatment for these types of things (panic attacks and sensory overload).

My psychiatrist agrees with this above.

Self-medicating with alcohol is nowhere near as effective as the above, plus you don't have someone monitoring you.

Benzodiazepines are safe, and as long as you don't take them chronically (everyday), there's no chance of becoming physically dependant on them (alcohol actually has a higher chance of this happening, contrary to popular belief).

I like autistic melt-downs and bipolar panic attacks, but it happened again today: a combination. Now I don't know which one it is or both? I was at the support group when Debbie was saying the "boundery" thing just because I wanted to record a number for my friend who wanted it. The thing about her was when I was recording the number for him in my voice she likes to try to "normalize" me and others like we're all her kids in class... so she thinks and cares about that crappy social """rule""" stuff. She said something while I was recording like, "Furball (only she said my real first name) You're not supposed to ask him for his number..." only she said what I would call an NT social "rule" word, "It's not appropriate..." Not a full minute later I started hitting my left leg kind of hard like other autistic melt-downs. Sometimes my right leg... only when I started making loud sounds they were more like in a panic attack instead of the sounds I would make in an autistic melt-down. I kind of tryed to run away a little like in my autistic melt-down. I stomp-walked on the way out while making the loud sounds.

About those: after a melt-down or overload I would talk differently. I would only say a few words "together" but more separated apart from the next words I would say. I call it my autistic voice... In a big one I didn't like being touched.
Usually in them I only like one person with me. Even two is too much and I would be with the more trustworthy one of the time.

The problem: I heard that one time in mania I didn't like being touched and when I was a tiny bit hypomanic once my autistic voice came out...

The confusing part: I don't know what it is now. The "autistic melt-downs" are really autisticy... ...and how they combine...

When I was hitting my legs off and on (instead of constantly in that moment with one of or both legs) I also kind of tried to "run" away. If I had vision like I used to I probably would run just to the outside of the building or something. The sounds I made were like a panic attack since they weren't my autistic sounds louder and kinnnd of uncontrolable, only they were actually like mad """screams" only they didn't sound like the right color of a scream. They were more brown. I went outside for a few minutes with one person, and I told him what happened. He ruled! We talked things over.

It's amazing when the melt-down/attacks happen. I like the autistic melt-downs more because of their autisticiness and the weird things that have happened after a full one once. I went more into my world to the point that even though I knew at camp that someone was walking through the door I "imagined" a big, green furball rolling in. Even though I knew it was a person I still reacted like it was a big, green furball. The only wanting to be with one person was there but even more. I told her that I didn't want anyone else in my world. When someone else walked in I would ask her, "What are they doing in my world?" I somehow suddenly didn't trust people unless it was one person at the time who listens and understands my world. She said something like, "They're just walking through." in a nice way... only I didn't even want anyone walking through my world. It seemed like I was more autistic in at least some ways... or is it somehow bipolar in a weird way... but it seems so autisticy... That's why I wish I could just find out somehow and hear about other melt-downs or even panic attack-autistic melt-downs.

I also wonder why I started to get them (or one) before my hypomanic episode: a few years ago. It was a mixed "attack." In the first one in my earlier 20s it was a mix. I was making the regular panic attack sounds (not the "screaming" kind) and I was hitting my right leg that time which is more like an autistic melt-down. It's so unknown.

-the synesthetic Furball

PS: If you were actually interested in my amazing experiences and wonderings or if you just read it to read it I thank you for reading. I would rather be E-mailed just because I don't know if I could find this section again.

I wish I was down there, Olivia; we could go places and do "normal" things and embarrass ourselves together!