pride vs. shame in aspergers

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What in your opinion do you think separates those that are proud of their aspergers and those that are ashamed of it?

I think a lot of it boils down whether you have an optimistic outlook on life, or a pessimistic outlook on life. I have a very pessimistic outlook on life, and use my AS as one of my excuses to why I’m not happy.

Time, and support from the people that love them.

A couple years away from middle and high school don't hurt either.

That's my experience anyway...

I believe that for me, and possible many others, my pride in Asperger's comes from my talents and interests. My musical ability has come from my intense narrow interests in certain musical instruments. If I become fascinated with the instrument---I can play it without training and in a short amount of time. I have other interest areas too. I do not socialize, but that doesn't bother me. Even when I was growing up I did not seek out friendships. I believe that many who do not like their Asperger's might be because they are seeking out the social scene and do not succeed at it, and many who don't like it probably don't have the fascination with interests like others/me do.

Last edited by glider18 on 27 Apr 2009, 6:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

Probably another reason why I have a pessimistic outlook, I don’t have any of the benefits of talents or gifts like a lot of people on here seem to have.

Sure you do. You just have to find it. I think you're talented, everyone is. It's just finding that niche.

I don't think I'm so much proud of having AS as I just don't mind it. It's nice knowing what's 'wrong' with me, but I don't let it dictate my life.

I'm not "proud" of it per se. I consider it a blessing and an interesting addition to my life, but taking pride in it would be silly, as I was born with it and had no part in choosing to have AS, so I can't consider it an accomplishment.
I am however, proud of my accomplishments in language, art, and literary pursuits, which indirectly resulted from my being born with AS.

I've never, ever been proud of it.

I am very optimistic, but I guess I'd have to fall on the "ashamed" side of the line. I'm ashamed because of its dark potential, (that it can keep people from success and happiness) and the light that it casts on my weaknesses, (it puts a lot of pressure on someone not to screw up, even though, of course, everyone does regardless of mental health status) but I'm not ashamed of what *I* am, and I'm proud of the things that make me unique and valuable, and I think those things might be so unique partly because of the autism. So I think it evens out, sort of, but I still don't want anyone to know about my diagnosis.

You know,both of you have really made me think: maybe it's not so much pride or shame but self-esteem/self image in the light of a spectrum diagnosis.

I'm 50/50.

I like being different but sometimes I can be too different, and end up feeling lonely.
I love obsessing over things.
I take pride in being able to find lost items.
I love being artistic.
I like being an annoying know-it-all.
I like the fact that I can just go for a 20 minute walk and come straight home with a new idea, usually for a story or photo project.
I like learning new things and remember a lot of what I've learned if it is of interest to me.
I don't like being unorganised, getting anxious over changes, and not being that social.
I don't like my speech problems, my oversensitivity, my sensory issues and not being able to connect with people.
My coordination could be better but it's the least of my concerns.
But hey, I'm trying to be positive.

I think the idea of it being related to diagnosis is probably part of it. I never knew I was an Aspie until an adult and at a point in my life where I accepted myself for who a I am. Then I found out, and then it was more of an explanation as opposed to a problem. I think I was one of the lucky ones where I was diagnosed (so-to-speak) at an early age as "gifted", and not "disabled" as many NTs incorrectly in my opinion see autistics/aspies. This "disabled" label can be so detrimental to individuals as it has negative connotations. The gifted title didn't explain everything else quirky about me, but who knew it was all related? =) I'd say the majority of my mind is glad I never knew until later, even though I had alot of heartache growing up, feeling alien, and not knowing what it was all about. But I think that experience made me stronger and better able to deal with NTs and function in a neurotypical world. Who knows how it would have been if it were different--but if I second guess too much my brain will melt. =)

The thing separating the two is confidence.

As you get older and more things work for you, you gain more confidence. I didn't learn about aspergers until after I'd already had a bit of success in life. It was my "differences" that enabled me to be successful. It's a bit sad that my "differences" aren't all that different - in that there's a whole site (WP) with 20,000 people on it with the same "differences" but that doesn't change the fact that I'd been successful.

Since I now have a name for the thing that makes me special, I've got some degree of "pride" in it.

I am proud to be who i am but i dont think aspergers makes me any better or worse than anyone else. Just a little differant than the average person, but no two people are alike anyways. The only thing to be ashamed of is shame.

I have neither pride nor shame. I am indifferent. I feel like the same person I was before I was diagnosed. It surprises me when people wear it as some kind of badge honor, like they are members in a club.

Pride isn't the word but I've often felt blessed or as if I had extra stuff that others didn't get. Like an extra helping of focus or some super power like hearing or sense of smell. There have been times in my life when people stared openly with mouths hanging and say something like "How in the world did you do that?" I just love those times. Inveriably it was an Apergian quality that they found amazing at that moment.

However, there are so many, many more times when they stared because I was odd or laughed openly at me or made fun. THOSE times I've always just felt awful and like I wanted to cease to exist. I suppose that would be a "shame" moment.

I believe it's not a disease that needs a cure, and it's also not something to be proud of, It just IS and we just ARE. If NTs could get to that point of tolerance and just let us be ourselves, we will have a huge victory.