Do you deliberately avoid people to great lengths?

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AmberEyes
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27 Apr 2009, 12:52 am

I only avoid people when I don't know how to deal with them, which is most of the time.

Usually someone has to initiate the conversation for me.

If I have specific errands to run and messages to give to others, I usually fair much better. If I have a specific goal and structure, I find it easier to motivate myself to talk to others. That doesn't always mean that others will follow the plans though!

However, dealing with people spontaneously and casually that I've never met before, particularly with large crowds, I find almost impossible.

Sometimes I find that I get a job done more efficiently on my own if I don't have to worry about others.



ladybug7
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27 Apr 2009, 6:32 pm

I'm probably a lot older than other people here. I do avoid people.



Hovis
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29 Apr 2009, 10:40 am

Yes, I avoid them. I don't want to have to meet somebody who recognizes me and be drawn into small talk and stand there struggling to think of what to say.

I also have a paranoia - well, actually, it's not just paranoia, because they do - people staring at me. I just get tired of it; being unable to pass somebody without being aware of that stare. I like to walk a lot, but the staring when it's in populated areas spoils it, although I've found a partial solution now. I am somewhat short-sighted, and although I can walk around perfectly safely seeing everything I need to without glasses on, things are slightly out of focus, including faces - and they are out of focus just enough that I cannot actually discern whether someone's gaze is directed straight at me or not. So I walk without glasses and am now oblivious to any staring. It's much more comfortable.



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29 Apr 2009, 9:40 pm

hovis, I'm the same, at work i will wear my glasses while driving, but take them off when i am delivering, and I never wear them inside the office at work, but I wear them at home all the time. i do it for the same reason as you



pensieve
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29 Apr 2009, 10:03 pm

I have at times, but I later regret it.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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29 Apr 2009, 11:11 pm

Jamin wrote:

- So also does wildlife.




I chuckled when I read that. I've thought that many times. I remind myself of a wild animal dodging humans more often than not. I can really understand the way they move and want to get away. Even if it's a feral cat walking across a field, sees someone in the distance, stops, freezes, stares for a moment, then quickly hastens it's pace getting further away as quick as it can without actually running, and never looking back, It's ears drawn slightly back listening for footsteps since it doesn't attempt to look again. I can understand that, even though I can't make my ears do that.



KarmicPyxis
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30 Apr 2009, 1:07 am

Absolutely yes: I go to embarrassing lengths to avoid people unless there is a "context" for interacting with them. I've tried my entire life to break this, but I cannot.

The only time that I'm really "normal" or seem/feel "normal" is when there is some kind of context for interaction (eg work, something on TV, etc). I even have this problem with my family, spouse, kids. Like someone here said--it can be excruciating, but sometimes ya just gotta "suck it up and deal."

Sure doesn't "help" much in the "what to say" small talk dept, or help much with not being suddenly struck tonguetied if/when the person you are near decides to start talking to you/me. Hate that. Always have, probably always will. I don't dislike people, I'm not usually consciously afraid of them...at this point, I avoid them mainly because I can't stand the awkward silence of being two feet away and not saying a thing since NTs think that that is so weird and creepy.

Heck, I have a helluva time even making "small talk" with my own kids most of the time. I end up asking about schoolwork or even the weather--pretty bad when your dad can only think of talking about the weather then you're 10 and he's over 40! I feel terrible because of it, though as contradictory as it probably sounds, I dismiss the guilt with a wave of the old "Can't help it, so can't worry too much about it, either!" wand.

But...it is what it is, as the saying goes! 8)


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redplanet
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30 Apr 2009, 2:51 am

Sometimes I do - it depends what my mood is. If I'm very much into myself, which happens often, I don't speak to anyone and I avoid people if I think they will talk to me. Otherwise I can speak to people although I rarely initiate conversation.



beja
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30 Apr 2009, 12:20 pm

I try to avoid them whenever possible. If I have to go to the store, I try to go to those that have self-checkout lanes so that I don't have to deal with a cashier. Since I live in New Jersey and we aren't allowed to pump our own gas here, I prefer to get gas across the bridge in Pennsylvania so that I can pump it myself and avoid having to interact with anyone. Unfortunately, gas is often $.20-$.30 more a gallon there. :-(



ScottF
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30 Apr 2009, 5:25 pm

I usually avoid going into Wal Mart, the supermarket, etc... when they are busy rather, I go when no one is working so I don't have to interact with anyone.


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richardbenson
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30 Apr 2009, 6:17 pm

ahhh. sabatoge! i cant stand it i know you planned it!! !! !! !! ! blah blah its sabatoge! womn wonm wom wooaaahhhhhhhhhhh!



Homer_Bob
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30 Apr 2009, 7:41 pm

I sure do, I have phone phobia so I never call anyone when I have to, I'll try to to do it by email instead. When I go to stores, I never talk to anyone and if there is an item I can't find, I'd rather leave empty handed then ask someone for help, I also avoid going to any places where people I do not like go. I even sometimes pretend I don't see people I know if they are around because I don't feel like talking to them. The list can go on.



Rack
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01 May 2009, 5:28 am

I don't normally avoid people, but when I start to feel overwhelmed I can't even walk near people no matter what they may be like.



sartresue
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01 May 2009, 9:40 am

Null and (a)void topic

Most adults, except for those I must connect with, are avoided. I like children, some teens and tame or domestic animals. Live and let live, I suppose.


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jocundthelilac
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01 May 2009, 11:33 am

It's little children for me, particularly those under 5. I think what triggered it off was being stuck on the tram next to a screaming baby for 45 minutes. I just get all nervous around kids.

Teens are okay, but it's younger people I don't like.


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