You're an adult with AS and fine: do you tell your family?

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Family in this case means not people you live with, such as your spouse. I'm referring to parents and siblings, mostly.

I personally chose yes because I had many problems when I was a child as far as stimming and hurting myself. I've completely grown out of it but it caused my family a lot of stress. I would hope an explanation of why I did all of those things would ease the stress a little bit. Letting them know that it had nothing to do with their parenting.

Heck, that's who told me I was aspie!

My family already knows.

I'm choosing not to tell my parents, at least until I can afford to move out. My parents were and are responsible for a lot of grief in my life, and telling them isn't going to do a bit of good. They repeatedly pushed me to the point of meltdown when I was growing up, even when I begged them to stop and just leave me alone. I do not trust them, and thus I will not be telling them.

Hmmm...interesting question and one I am now pondering myself having received an official diagnosis of AS yesterday. I'm torn. On the one hand I feel, as mentioned previously, that it would go some way towards them maybe understanding me a little better. I would also hope that it might do some good for others on the autistic spectrum too because my family would likely be more sympathetic and understanding about it and be able to relate in some small way with anyone they encountered with it. I know my younger brother worked for a while as a carer in a residential home for young adults with LFA, so he has some understanding of the spectrum and I have mentioned to him in passing that we have traits. The other reason I am keen to tell is because my dad is remarried with a 7 yr old boy, who, I believe, shows some pretty unusual behaviour, so at least he would be aware of the genetic possiblity and could keep his eye on my half-brother in case his behaviour gets unmanageable.

On the other hand, I don't want the little guy labelled and treated as 'special' or a freak...I did quite fine getting myself to 33 years of age without a diagnosis or any special treatment. I want him to have a'normal' childhood, especially if he is atypical! I am also hesitant about telling them all because it could just be one other way in which I 'disappoint' them or get to be the 'black sheep' in the family. At this stage they probably think it's enough to deal with having a gay daughter/sister, let alone one who has a neurological disorder as well.

I told. They had to endure a lot under my autism compared to families with an autistic child. Wouldn't be fair to not tell and to help them stop doubting themselves and their parenting.

Fine is a relative term. I live by myself and pay all my own bills and on a casual observation seem pretty normal. I am still a social drater ( < spell it backwards, must protect the aspies from hurted feelings ) and because I can manage to do so many things I believe telling my family that I am on the autistic spectrum would seem like a cop out to them. So no, I will not tell them. If they can figure it out then let them do so. I am tired of trying to explain crap to people.

If you're life is fine, I'd say no. I mean unless you have a real understanding family and you think they'd be interested, but if it doesn't affect your life and you are alright then I would not mention it.

I told that i may have HFA, AS or PDD-NOS and that we were examining it. Dad have already accepted it and mom went into denial. My siblings... i really do not care what they think, but one of them have a medical degree and did not even raise an eyebrow. A friend of mine diagnosed with AS also had that "my mom went into denial" problem.

Basically i think it boils down to that some people think that high functioning autism/aspergers is some sort of gigantic problem - even if we have behaved "normally" to them in all our lives. I had to clarify this to my mom for 30 minutes since she thought it was something serious that would be lifechanging and thought i would be spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair dribbling saliver - or something

Note: my problems are not severely impairing; i mean, i function normally, i have had a relationship, i can do lectures/teach, i can still have a job - i just need understanding from an employer that i am not the social animal that the others are and i REALLY like to work alone. When i am home, i prefer to be alone and not have 129783498734 people around me, everyone (including my family) already knows this and it is not a problem.

My advice?

If you feel you have a sort of enlightened family (i.e. not an idiot macho dad that says "stop whining" like some people here seems to have), you can tell - if you feel it would make their lives easier to know.

If not, do not tell.

I told my sister, because we're close. Plus she's got young children, so I though she deserved to know about the genetic side of things.

I haven't told anyone else in my family. I don't trust my mum to keep secrets, and I think my brother wouldn't understand.

It's not really something I'm ready to share with other people yet. It just feels... personal. Once you tell somebody, you have no control over who they tell.

I live on the completely opposite side of the world, so I don't have much contact with my real family. They are very difficult. But I will tell my 'adopted' family here in the us.

My mom mentioned it, but I denied it at first.
Later on though, I looked into it and began making my own conclusions about it. I denied it to my mom because I didn't want her worried. I'm also going to get a diagnosis without her knowing. She has a weak heart, and I don't want to make her more worried than she already is.
My dad doesn't know, either; but he's not interested/wouldn't care anyway, so why should I tell him? To him, it won't change anything. It's just a label.

I voted no.

I don’t see any benefit to telling parents and/or siblings.

If they believed me (and chances are they’d be in denial), I would expect a lot of almost forgotten meltdowns and embarrassments to resurface. Questions about behaviour, meltdowns and other incidents that are better left unsaid.

I’ve managed to develop enough social skills to get through family birthdays, Christmas etc. Although these days I live in a different country than all of my near relatives.

The only possible reason to tell would be for the benefit of nieces and nephews. If any of them are on the spectrum, then I’m hoping that the school system will pick it up.

You are only diagnosed if it is a problem for you though. I'm confused by the question.