Fired before even started to work due to AS :-(

Post Reply New Topic

I have difficulties with a lot of text and assume others have too so I dont expect many have the patience to read all this.
I tried to make it short but it was hard as all of it is part of the full story....

After some failure meetings with offending managers who couldnt meet my AS and a trial work that only teared me down I decided to return to a place I have worked before.
I hesitated a lot as I have never ever returned to a place I have been before.

Me and my work consultant went there and talked to the manager a couple of weeks ago. I deciced to be openminded and honest about my difficulties.
I said I need variation in work and also is over sensitive for the musicplaying radio at the place.
I clearly pointed out that I DID NOT require nor demand them to fit the place for me because of that.
What I meant was that I need variation BY THE TIME (not from the beginning) and SOMETIMES need the radio turned off.

But I should never ever mentioned that at all because today I was told by sms that I was not welcomed as " It wont work and will be too much trouble"
(oh yeah Im worth my nickname now for sure)

I decided spontaniously to go visit the place and meet the manager in person. I was not rude or angry or upset by then.
I just wanted her to explain what was wrong and why I couldnt start work with them.

She told she got bad feelings out of my needs of variation and the radio off.

I said that she apparently missunderstood me if she thought I wanted to come and rule the place for my own needs
I saidt it for me would be beyond common sense to require something like that (I know we aspies have to fit ourselves to the NTworld, not the other way round)
I said - once again - that I have made their current logotype and a big artwork I know they are using in exhibitions as promotion
I said I therefore I DO HAVE ABILITIES and HAVE done and CAN do something good for them
I said that I also now was INDEED prepared to do the daily routine work they could offer at the moment
I said I have been looking forward to work there and have got used to the idea to return now
I said I was very disappointed of not beeing welcomed

The only reply I got was "uhu, okey"

The worst of all is everything I have done for them during the years.
I pay yearly membership, I buy their calendar each year. I worked a lot for them during one whole year some years ago. I have supported their business in other ways too.
I know they need people for volutary work and I offered myself but Im not welcomed because of two things I said in pure honesty, due to my AS

All this made me cry out loud in anxiety later on. Resulting in sudden sleep afterwards as I was exhausted crying in that extreme way.
I stil got headache and pain in the face out of all tears the rest of the day....
Anyone is welcome to tell me if that was a meltdown or not as Im uncertain of the meaning of that term

They have now lost a supporting member in grief and I have lost belief in so much more.....

Thank you for your time reading it all until here!
Gosh, this took me hours to write. Now I understand what enormous effort it is for all who write looooong posts....

That's happened to me so many times, xalepax, that extreme crying that lasted hours, until my head, including the skin on my face, hurts. I dunno if it's a melt down but I used to do that a lot in the evening, at home.
Sorry about your job, I hope it works out for you or you find one you like more than that one.

Isnt this something the aclu might want to know about?

I'm so sorry, xalepax. That was a very upsetting experience and I can understand why you feel hurt. Maybe you need to talk to your work consultant about this- it sounds like the manager got the wrong impression somehow and didn't realize how keen you were to fit in and work productively. Please don't stop believing in yourself- lots of people on this site have had to try many jobs before they find the right one. One day someone will appreciate your talents. Take care, Jenny

I'm really sorry to hear this. I hope you can find somewhere else that would be more accommodating.

I have an idea. If the music bothers you why not simply get ear muffs or ear plugs. That is something you and the work consultant could talk over with the manager.

The manager should be punished.

You do not give a location where you live, so I can't give a clue where to to go for legal advice, which I perhaps could do otherwise.

---

So concentrate on an other aspect: An "coming out" as an Aspie with even the request for a minimal adjustment is in the very most cases not in your favour. So fare I understand you left the company ones and know come back. This is for an employer always an unusually situation. You got the job only because your work consultant intervened. For the employer the decision to hire you was not straight forward and difficult.

Your action, how minor it is, was perhaps just the tipping point to move the scale in the wrong direction for you.

---

Try to learn out of this experience: NT know such thinks by intuition, we Aspies mostly not. The next time try to analyse very rationally what caused the employer to hire you, how easy you could be replaced and than make your request. If in doubt: Keep the lowest profile you are just able to bear.

I understand your major meltdown over this. Like Dussel said, maybe you could find legal counsel, as this doesn't seem to be appropriate at all for an employer to do to a disabled employee.

It must hurt more since you care about and have contributed to the organization before.

Getting really upset and anxious, followed by crying...sounds like my meltdowns.

i wish for you that this experience will lead to something much better, some other job you wouldn't get if you got hired there. you know now better to be careful and to keep low profile. people find you strange and they are okay with that, but when they know the explanation they might become scared of the unknown and prejudiced.

I'm also wondering where you are. If you're in the UK, you should contact the Equalities Commission.

What country are you in?

In the U.S., if you told them you have a disability and they refused to make reasonable accomodations for you, they are in violation of the law.

The whole situation sounds fishy. You were working for them on a trial basis, created logos that they are still using, and then they decided not to use you when it was time to decide whether to make things permanent.

Am I understanding you correctly -- were you not being paid? If so, it sounds like they were just using you. I've seen other companies do this: they hire someone on a trial basis for no or very little pay and then when the trial period is up say it just wasn't working out. They have no intention of hiring anyone on permanently -- they just want the cheap labor.

Did you sign anything that says that they have the rights to anything you created while in their employ? If not, you may be able to sue them for a share of the profits from the logos you created or perhaps stop them from using the logos at all.

Quite frankly, I admire you for being so tenacious. Rather than giving up or being fatalistic you immediately found another job. Rather than giving in completely to depression, you're taking the time to painfully post here and expose yourself. You have a lot of great qualities.

Sorry to hear that. It's nasty and it's illegal.

You're within your rights to take them to task over it if you really feel the need.

If not, move on, you're obviously very brave because you went and talked to them afterwards (well done). You'll do well elsewhere amongst better co-workers anyway.

Just don't tell them before you've been there are few years.