Bank account (not opened in childhood) Age 18
Driver’s license Age 20. I tried to learn to drive in my hometown, but it was just too scary. At age 20, I was in the military and stationed in the middle of nowhere, so there was pretty much no traffic at all. Even so, I had a lot of anxiety around learning to drive. Now, I am back in the SF Bay Area, and can hardly drive anywhere at all, because there is too much visual clutter, traffic, and too much to keep track of.
Checkbook 18
Credit card 18 Unfortunately, I didn't understand how stupid it is to buy more that you can afford to pay off each month, and ended up in debt. Not nearly as bad as a lot of people, though.
Part-time job (specify if large discrepancy between ability level/qualifications) I think I was 16. It was working behind a counter at a little five and dime store. I was so nervous around customers, and especially my boss, who was horrible, that I felt sick to my stomach all the time. I wasn't allowed to move away from the cash register, but had to look busy all the time, so I had to spend all my time pretending to wipe the counter over and over while the boss looked down from his office window and glared at me. I quit after three weeks when he yelled at me for not cleaning a toilet that I didn't even know existed.
Full-time job (specify if large discrepancy between ability level/qualifications) This was the Air Force. You may think that a person on the spectrum can't get into the AF, but there were a couple of people (one in particular) who was the ultimate HFA guy. I did fantastic in tech school, but once I got to my permanent duty station, I never quite "got it". I felt confused all the time about what I was meant to be doing and how I was supposed to act. In basic training, they teach you all about military customs, and how you are supposed to act, but then you get to your duty station and find out it all that stuff only half-applies. AND you have to live in the dorms and get along with roommates. I had no clue about AS or really any understanding that the problem was ME. I was constantly told to get with the program, shape up my attitude, take the initiative, and all that stuff, but had no clue HOW. It seemed like other people just did stuff, and everything went smoothly. I didn't know what to do, so I spend most of my time lampooning my superiors behind their backs, which a lot of other people seemed to find amusing, but I still was miserable.
Insurance (any kind) Age 20. Can't drive a car without insurance. It wasn't hard, because I lived in a town with two little car insurance offices. It sucked up most of my paycheck, though.
Able to live independently without basic support Never. I'm almost 42, and I've never been on my own. I don't think I could manage it, and I also think I would be afraid sometimes. I get scared when my major appliances make funny noises, and things like that. There are often things that happen that I don't know what to do about, and I feel like a kid.
Marriage/long-term relationship Age 28 to present. I had had what I thought were relationships, but apparently if you just slept with the person a few times and didn't actually care about them, then it's not a relationship. Ha ha. Who knew? I've never experience a "break up".
Children Yep. Somehow I managed to do this twice. There are a lot of typical "mom" things that I don't do, though. I don't drive my kids anywhere, which is just as well, because they prefer to be at home. I do have to get it together enough to help my AS son get the help and services he needs, and for a while, that became one of my "special interests." Now it's harder, because at some point that stopped being a "special interest." I still care, of course, but it's no longer easy to read about Special Education Law for hours at a time and stay focused.
Own home Age 33. Of course, my husband is the one that earns all the money, and it's a very small home. Also, because of the type of home, we are not responsible for maintenence on the exterior.
2. If applicable, what sort of support or accommodations would you require in order to obtain the items you want?
Well, I'm not sure what you mean here, but ideally I would have someone to drive me around. My fear of driving has gotten worse. As I am driving, I get a feeling like I am forgetting how to operate the vehicle, and I'm not really connected to it. The scenery and other traffic go by too fast, and I feel like my reflexes aren't quick enough to deal with things as they come. My husband has to take time off work (and he gets paid pretty good money, but by the hour, so he loses a lot) to take us to appointments and things. I also have no spoken to my only girl friend for almost a year, because I'm afraid she'll want to meet someplace that I can't drive to anymore.
If I didn't have my husband, I don't know what I'd do. I've never had a job that paid enough to actually live on, and I know from experience that I don't have what it takes to keep one. I have zero references, and am not able to say all the bold faced lies that you are supposed to say at interviews, like, "I like a challenge", "I'm a people person", and "I'm a self-starter." Nothing is further from the truth. AND, I have kids, so if I didn't have a husband, I'd still need to support them. Childcare costs WAY more than anything I've ever made, and that's just crappy childcare, certainly not something appropriate for my AS son. Honestly, if I had had any clue that my problems with life and jobs were because of something in ME (AS), and not that I've been around a-holes all my life, then I wouldn't have had kids. I mean, I adore them, and they are really neat people, so I don't regret having them, but I wish I could be a more competent mother for them, and have less worries. I have ZERO social network to give them. Nothing at all.
20 Jun 2009, 3:52 am
And still arent 
, which required some kid of "whiz kid" analyst 
. 
