If you say 'hi' and the person answers 'how you doing?'....

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If you meet someone and say 'hi' and the person responds with 'how you doing?' are you supposed to answer that question or it understood to mean 'hi'?

From what I understand, most aren't honestly concerned with how you're doing. It's expected I think answer it, but by no means is it expected to be answered honestly. That's what I've been tol anyways.

So, consider it as their greeting, but also remember that they expect an answer but might not even care about the answer they get.

I'm never sure how to answer "how are you", and I always say the same thing. I used to answer, "not sure", but that sounded stupid and was harder to explain when they were confused. Now I just answer with, "alright I guess", and then they respond with, "you guess?"

I'm just going with what I've been told, no actual understanding of it.

It's a greeting. The formula answer is "fine; how are you?" unless you have already asked them how they are, in which case the answer is, "Fine." Think of it like one of those readings you have in some churches during mass, when the priest will say one thing and then the congregation responds with the next line. The point isn't actually to get each others' status, but to acknowledge each others' presence and friendly intent, to initiate social contact. If you want to ask them how they are doing, and get an actual answer, you have to do the regular greeting, and then ask separately, varying the phrasing, like, "So, what have you been up to lately?", or, if they haven't been having a good time lately, something like, "How are you holding up?" They may still answer along the lines of "nothing much," or, "fine," but it gives an opening so they can tell you about their recent history if they so desire. If you want to talk about your recent history, you can often do it after the greeting, after both of you have said you are fine, unless the other person came to you to talk about something, in which case they will say it once they have finished with the greeting.

Anytime someone asks me a question, I have trained myself to answer and repeat their question, just trying to be polite. I do keep my answer short, I hate it when I ask someone how they are doing and they talk to me forever about every detail of their life.

Like they ask.. How are you? I reply.. ok, How are you?----- or someone says Its nice to meet you, I repeat it back, otherwise Im seen as being rude.

Hehe! And they say we are the ones with echolalia!

If someone says,"How do you do?" the proper response is,"How do you do?" In America at least, this is part of upper class manners. Since most people say something other than "How do you do?" the normal, proper response would be,"Fine. How are you?" or something along those lines. Only rarely does anyone actually want to know how you are doing, but since this varies by geography, even within the U.S., you might want to watch how other people handle it.

Something to note: if you are confused, ask a neurotypical. You can phrase the question like this,"Do you ever wonder why we say,'How you doing?' Or maybe what we're supposed to say in response?" Generally, you would want to reserve this type of question for someone with whom you are fairly familiar, e.g. a friend, long-time coworker, or family member. It is not a typical question, but it is not that unusual.

As I understand, it's supposed to be somewhere in the middle. I usually answer this with "alright," which seems to be the standard response. Other times, though, I'll respond with "I don't know. Nobody ever tells me."

Standard greetings and their responses should be taught in school. I mean, if you learn a foreign language, you learn how to greet someone many different ways, then a series of possible responses and when it's appropriate to use them. Why not in our own native language?

Formal response to "How are you doing?"
"Fine, thank you. How are you?" (For men, there's usually handshake in there somewhere.)

Informal responses,
"Alright. How are you?"
"Not too shabby."
"Pretty good. How about you?"
"Fair to middlin'." (This one might be specific to my own family)

Sometimes, if the person is someone you've known for a long time, an old friend, you can ignore the question and respond with your own, "S'up?"

The way it worked for me... it seemed that everyone around me had a script they all knew, but I had to make a list of greetings and learn them on my own. It's true, I feel like an actor when I speak these lines, but everyone else is speaking the same lines, so no one really knows the difference.

Jerry Seinfeld does a bit about greetings in the workplace. After you say hello to someone in the morning, do you have to keep greeting them all day every time you see them? He observed that for most people, the greeting becomes more and more informal as the day goes on, Good morning, becomes Hi, then Hey, eventually becoming a head nod, and after that you pretend not to see the person, because you've run out of greetings. He suggested that you say "Good morning" to someone in the morning, but for the rest of the day you can simply say, "Acknowledge," when you see them. How sweet and simple would that be?

For people I know, I usually try to at least give an honest answer, even if it's very vague and doesn't begin to express it. If the person doesn't ask further, I leave it at that. If the person actually cares enough to ask further, I'll tell them.

I am always unsure and nervous when this question comes up, unless it is coming from someone who I have met many times before and who always asks me how I am. And even then, I don't like it.

I know you're supposed to say 'good how are you' (in Australia you are, anyway), but I don't say this, firstly because 'good' is grammatically incorrect in this context, and secondly because I don't care enough about how the other people are or about 'keeping up appearances' or whatever to bother returning the question. I just say 'I'm well, thank-you', and wait for the other person to start talking.

It serves to offer a quick rip thru the formalities.


dude 1: Hi...

dude 2: How are ya?

dude 1: All right. You?

dude 2: Can't complain I guess... So what's up?



It takes about 3 seconds and it somehow signifies that you care. Now on to business...

Sometimes I think "how are you doing?" is the same as "hi". I've had people ask me how I'm doing and when I start to answer they walk away.