Emotional Control

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Or lack of it ! !!

I really struggle with containing my emotions, is this a common thing?
Anything that i love/care about im OTT with emotion, it means so much to me
I now perhaps realise that i need to temper that emotion & kind of even it out over a wider spread of situtations/issues
Sliding scale, everything tipped one way

Has anyone any tips on how to curb this?

Yes, it's a common thing. Although some Aspies say they don't feel a great deal, there are others who feel things extremely intensely and become clingy in friendships. I am one of those -- I try to hide the emotional intensity of what I feel for some friends sometimes, because I think it would freak them out. It was one of the things my psychiatrist specifically asked me about when he was diagnosing me.

At work now, can't write a long memo -- some advice to follow later.

Do you struggle with other intense emotions as well, e.g. intense anger, anxiety, fear, etc.?

I do tend to have very intense emotions, but most of the time I don't have a clue which emotion it is?

I "have" emotions, I just don't "feel" them.

I often need to read (poorly) the physical signs of my own body to know what I'm feeling.

Meta, I have that too. I recently found out why Aspies are that way -- or the theory anyway. Something to do with "executive function" and the frontal lobe... read it in Dr. Tony Attwood's book.

That's why we have meltdowns -- we can't always see it coming.

I am learning to figure out what I am feeling by noting what I do when I get up in the mornings. E.g. acting obsessively, stimming very markedly probably indicates I am feeling anxious.

My counsellor said it's common in people with AS. She said that it has to do with us thinking in black and white, although I'm not sure how. It still confuses me.
I often have trouble controlling my emotions, especially anxiety.

Yeah I have a hard time identying my emotions for example I'll should I think its anger but its sadness, I tend to struggle controlling my emotios when I';m anxious though, I think its because autistic people see so black and white and logically I tend to question my emotions to for example why am I happy its always confused me

The emotion I struggle with most is rage. I used to be very violent as a child.

Speaking as the person who just bawled her way through a meeting in which she was told that she wasn't a team-player and was just being argumentative for the sake of it because she wasn't ready to go along with something that seems to be very inappropriate just because the rest of the team has decided it'll be convenient, yes, it is very, very difficult to control strong emotion.

Regards,

Patricia

I think a lot of it is the inability to react appropriately to how we're feeling, that leads to trauma from emotional abuse.

Like, if a normal person starts to get upset, people around them will be able to recognize it an react appropriately.. but if I start to get upset, they're likely to react in ways that will make me much more upset... I'm not sure if it's because my emotions don't look like what they are or because things that would comfort normal people upset me.. I think it's a bit of both. But a lot of times if I'm nervous, or don't know what to say, people will be offended by me, and get angry.. so I'm already starting to melt down, and then I start getting yelled at on top of it.. and that teaches my brain to overreact because it learns that a bit of upset-ness will lead to much, much more. So I never had any way to learn emotional regulation, since any attempts to show that I was bothered by something weren't only not met with assistance, but usually with PUNISHMENT.

I have mood swings, and struggle to contain very intense emotions. I am a bit better with it now I have had psychotherapy. I still leave or avoid situations i know will trigger certain feelings (particularly anger or sadness). I sometimes feel intensely happy, although this isn't always good because I generally want to do something halfway between stimming and dancing, talk or sing to myself and even if I control these things I have odd movements/more stimming and a facial expression I would describe as a 'maniac grin', so I can't really be that happy in public without scaring people!

I also have some trouble recognising my own feelings, and judge by my physical feelings and behaviour (eg. I am having palpitations therefore i am nervous, everything feels difficult and I don't want to do anything so I am sad and upset)