Are you unintentionally disrespectful to people?

Post Reply New Topic

NTs = some of the most mindlessly disrespectful people ever.

I treat all people as equals. The same rule applies to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, be they a teacher, a homeless person, or the Queen of England. The rule is that if you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple.

But in society, you're not supposed to treat all people as human beings, you're supposed to automatically give certain people a certain amount of respect.

I never greet or thank people(unless I'm forced) so I suppose I'm unintentionally disrespectful towards people. It's not that I don't like them, it's that those expected social things aren't natural to me.

I try to be respectful, but sometimes I can be a little mean without knowing it. But compared to most people I'm not too bad, I at least TRY to be respectful

i'm not sure. a lot of people accuse me of being disrespectful when it wasn't my intention. i'm not always sure what's appropriate to mention and what not. my general rule: if it happened, or if it's an honest opinion--i'm not sure why i shouldn't mention it.

my observation: at times, this gets some people in an uproar. often i notice the uproar (and that it's directed at me.) but i'm not sure what i said that tipped it off. sometimes i'm aware that what i've just said has been found offensive--but i'm just not sure why.

sometimes i'm intentionally disrespectful--a habit i'm working on changing. not sure that has to do with "different wiring" in my case. think it has to do with my anger.

i'm not sure that NT's are wired to be respectful, or that those with "alternative wiring" are going to be disrespectful out of hand. it's an interesting thing to think about, though. glad this topic was posted.

I'm great at getting the wrong answer out first
I dont do it deliberately i just kind of tell the truth,people have told me in the past ive insulted them,but i didnt know i was doing it.

This was before the FD,now im comfortable with my honesty and try to remember that when asked anything

Kind of goes against the grain so its kind of hard to remember most of the time

Yes, especially since there are alot of particular things to follow in my culture, like greeting parents' friends as aunt or uncle and kissing them and their kids on the cheek, and putting an elders' hand to your forehead out of respect. It makes me uncomfortable and I don't like doing those things.

sometimes i am.

i am called "discourteous" many times, and "disrespectful" sometimes.

normal people are like guided missiles that intelligently change their directory given updates on the "target's" whereabouts.
i am like a dumb artillery shell, and my trajectory is "set in concrete" from the time i am fired.

so when i walk into a bakery shop for example, i already know every word i intend to say whilst in there.

woman: hi!! ! how are you today??? (gushing)
me: yes i will have one curried chicken pie and 1 lamington and one custard tart thankyou

woman : (goes mute and fill's the order)
me: thank you. (after i pay and then i exit the shop)

my life outside of my home is a script that i must follow.
before i interact with anyone, i must know what i am going to say from start to finish.
if they throw a "spanner in the works" by saying something i did not expect, i will grind on with my script anyway, and their spanner will be pulverized in the inevitable churning of my pre defined scripted machinery.


i have been "disrespectful" (as i was told) without intending to be on many occasions.

example:

there is an indian man at work (when i go there) who is very timid and concerned with
how australians perceive him because he feels that australians look down on him because he is very black and stuff like that.

i had to make a phone call to optus (one of the 2 major internet providers in australia) to find out the reason for an issue i had, and i was on the phone for about 40 mins listening to ads about how good optus is with customer service etc.
when the call was answered, it was answered by someone in india, and they were rude and did not care in the slightest about my predicament.

him: hello sir i am #@^*&!^*^&*^# (i did not catch his polysyllabic name). how can i help you today?

me: yes good afternoon. our office is not able to connect to the internet at the moment and i wonder if there is a local "outage" happening in our area (post code 2164) , or is it some corruption of our configuration that has caused it?.

him: well sir from time to time we experience drop outs and so that may be your problem.

me: so can you check if there was a drop out in the area 2164?
him: no sir i can not at this time, and thank you for your call.

i was enraged. i started into a tirade about indian help desks, and i was eventually stopped by my boss who came behind me and pulled some of my hair and she said that i should respect that there are indians in the office and to shut up now.

i shutted up, but that was an example of disrespect she said afterward.

i do not know mush about "respect" or the lack of it.

Last night one of my online friends thought I didn't care about him because he wanted me to give him my other friend's sn because she is a female and he wants other females to talk to also. Well I went to my female online friend and asked her if she likes talking to diaper men because I felt it wouldn't be polite to give him her sn so that's why I had to ask and when she said no, I went back to him and told him she doesn't talk to diaper men. So I asked him what was I supposed to do? I also told him I didn't feel it be polite to give him her sn so that's why I had to ask because lot of diaper females don't talk to diaper men and they ignore them when they get a IM from them or a PM. Then he told me I made him sound like a creep because "diaper men" is too stereotype and it makes the good ones sound creepy when they are not and him and I had been talking for six years. Well I didn't know how else to phrase it to my female friend then.

I have also hurt this guy friend a few other times on accident but he always comes back.

only to my family. it's pretty much constant with everything I say to.
to others, no, I never really talk and when I do it's always thank you etc because that's what I was taught to say so they think I'm overly-polite.