WHY DOES SHE GET SYMPATHY!?!

Post Reply New Topic

I totally agree. This seems to be a very common (far too common, unfortunately) way of thinking.
If a disabled child is born (or diagnosed), it's very common that people pity the parents only (or mostly). The parents are the ones who are "afflicted". They are the ones people understand. Another example of how NT's empathy is for people like themselves rather than "other people" in general, opposite what normally is claimed.

What about the child having to bear on his / her shoulders that he / she is someone that his / her parents are "afflicted" of, besides the disability itself??
Or being "afflicted" with having NT parents / family that don't understand them?

To link a couple threads together, maybe it goes back to how NTs empathize better with NTs.

Yes I think so. But then the psychologists should be honest and admit this, instead of giving the impression that NTs can empathize with all people.

I guess the same is true for adults vs. children. The adults tend to empathize with the parent / adult, more than with the child.

I remember some I know whose little daughter had a pain in the ear and cried a lot in the night. Some others I know expressed their sympathy with the parents who didn't get their sleep, but did not say anything about the daughter.
The father himself told me, when she got better, that now they could sleep at night. I answered, yeah, and it was also good for her that she got rid of the pain.
Don't misunderstand me. Of course the parents' situation was hard too. But the impression one got was that the ones that were the real sufferers were... them.

I sometimes have to remind myself when one of my kids are up all night for some reason that they are probably suffering more than me, and it helps me forget the pain of staying awake quickly.

I agree a kid is being a kid, and an autistic kid is being an autistic kid.

I also see parents trying to help their kid and socialize him so he can grow and be accepted in the world.

My 11 yr old nephew has AS and he LOVES to draw, and he's very good at it, and this is his "thing" to do when he's stressed or bored. So his parents always bring paper and pencils so he can draw.

But when do you reach the point of getting him out of his comfort zone and helping him interact? Sort of like, with a different child, when do you take away the pacifier or the teddy bear? Or when do you take away the 'tapping' if that's the child's obsession?

I know my nephew loves drawing; I also know he isolates himself this way. And as he gets older, it's less socially acceptable to just draw ... and he has to live in this world ... so sometimes attempting to stop obsessive habits is valid.

Maybe the parents are trying to help him reach beyond his habit or obsession. It's hard to tell.

Shouting and yelling never helps anything with autism. It makes it all worse. Or in my experience it does anyway.