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darby54
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05 Aug 2009, 7:11 pm

I have always been non-competitive and avoided competitive activities. Never played on a sports team in my life. I ride horses but never interested in shows or events. I remember being evaluated for swim classes/teams when I was very young and the instructor told my mom I was not swim team material, not fast or competitive, and (to my immense relief) recommended water ballet instead.



fiddlerpianist
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06 Aug 2009, 3:00 am

In an attempt to elevate individuals above their peers, competition stomps all over that which is sacred. It brings out the worst in people. Competitors can't truly be themselves because they are trying to impress by presenting what they think the judges will like. As a result, instead of individuality being prized, it is lost. Pretty soon, all competitors look or sound as much like each other as possible.

And for God's sake, don't say, "I think we are all winners here," at a competition before you announce the actual winners. If you truly felt that way, why did you hold a competition in the first place? Why not simply have a showcase?

Competition puts too much value on what other people think of your abilities. Maybe that's why autistic people don't see the point.

P.S. I'm referring to qualitative competition here, something at the mercy of a panel of judges.


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Izaak
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06 Aug 2009, 6:24 am

I have a VERY deep competitive drive. As a kid I was VERY uncoordinated. Couldn't run, catch, throw. My NT father perservered and got me active (he was a fitness "nut" himself.) While I didn't have any friends playing sport with my dad got me out and active and now I am quite good. While I still dislike the physical contact (I have tactile defensiveness) in basketball (the game I play) I now can run, catch, throw in a coordinated manner that I am a very good player. I play in a premiership winning team in Division one, (and on a different night Division 4) basketball teams. And have picket up three league MVP trophies. Which are amongst my most treasured possessions.

And to those that have said "competition is about somping other people" or "to make yourself feel good at others expense." Its about testing yourself. Testing your skills and your mental toughness. About showcasing the skills and abilities that you have spent many, many, many hours training. Not about beating other people but about continually getting better yourself and overcoming obstacles.

Apart from that. Competition isn't always about beating other people. This extends to almost every aspect of my life. I am always trying to "outdo" myself. In the same way that I would develop the skills for basketball by relentlessly training that which I am worst at, I try and develop those areas elsewhere in the same fashion. Of course, I must see it as a goal. Which probably explains why I never got that into training my social skills. But when I took up swing dancing, I was never going to enter a competition. I only did it because, firstly I liked jazz, and secondly because I wanted to learn to tolerate my tactile defensiveness. And while there are dance styles that get you close to a woman, swing dancing has a nice medium that isn't so close that the sensations overwhelm my ability to cope with them and not so little that I don't have great difficulty with them.

But I still practiced hours by myself (I am still quite uncoordinated so I kinda need to practice extra anyway just to be passable) in order to be as good as I could be. To get a smoothness and fluidity to my movements. And thats not just churning out a hundred moves. But watching tapes of the greats and developing poise and rythm. I typiclaly use only a "few moves" and most of them are designed to make my partner look as good as possible. But that is what being a good dancer (male part) is all about. Not many people care about seeing a guy do a spin. But get a girl swinging around and shaking her hips... well, there aint no better sight on a dance floor than a woman hitting her moves.

Anyways... slightly offtopic. In conclusion: I don't see competition about making other people look bad in order to make myself look good. Its about putting in the dedication to learn the skills and then testing yourself by overcoming obstacles. Whether it be benchmarks you've set for yourself, scoring more than an opponent(s) or simply going out and trying valiantly and doing your best no matter what. That's what competition to me is.


EDIT: I think competition brings out the best in people. It is a showcase for one persons willingness to put in the hard work it takes to win by a quater of a second. Or if their genetics doesn't allow it to reach the full potential available to them by using the sharpness of their mind to devote themselves to focus on a goal and set about acheiving it. Which I see is the place of sports. To give inspirational fuel to those whose goals aren't defined by seconds or milimeters. Whose goals are measured over lifetimes and success over years. By watching sport it crystalises their struggle and seing someone go out and achieve in the space of a minute, or an hour (or however long the competion goes for) so that they can get a lift for their own battles they'll face come monday morning (or whenever.) I can't see how anyone could not help but get an emotional lift from seeing someone like Lance Armstrong win a Tour de France. or Michael Phelps storming to a victory. Or Usain Bolt flying to the limits of human ability, or Johnny Wilkinson hitting a field goal in extra time to win a World Cup... etc... (bastard) It is the role of sports to conctretize the battle to achieve so that those whos goal are more subtle to continue on between achievements.



fiddlerpianist
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06 Aug 2009, 1:42 pm

Izaak,

I agree that competition when something can be measured quantitively is fine. I can in fact be very competitive (particularly with myself) about the fastest time, shortest distance, etc.

It's when humans get involved in judging where the problems begin. Suddenly it's not all about something you can definitively measure; it's about impressing judges. Since when do you have to justify your approach or interpretation to other people? That's what is demeaning.

If you need an event to drive you towards perfection, why not simply have a performance? Why does it always have to be about being "the best"?


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marshall
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06 Aug 2009, 2:41 pm

I can understand competition in the context of sport or games. I don't understand competition in the socio-economic sense. When I think about rat race mentality on life that some people embrace it makes me feel a combination of :shaking: , :eew:, and :tired:.



samtoo
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06 Aug 2009, 4:04 pm

In many circumstances, I believe if there's one primitive instinct the human race needs to cleanse themselves from, it's feeling the need to compete.

Why should we compete? Who says anyone has a right to claim the spoils just because they were more effective through competing? Now see - when it comes to sports, that's another matter entirely. Whilst there are despicable acts in sports that makes me frown on the whole thing, sports are fine to compete in. Sport, in my opinion, is truly a contest of "Prove you're the best at this" and everyone benefits - physically, mentally... the losing teams or individuals are still benefiting, and the victors aren't exactly being hostile.

When it comes to general life and capitalist businesses etc, I HATE the idea of competition. I absolutely LOATHE it, and I think as a species we should be beyond such primitive behaviour.


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WoodenNickel
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06 Aug 2009, 5:49 pm

I had the competitiveness drained from my system when I was young. I was a terrible athlete and lost at everything, even team sports when my contribution was not critical. :?: I didn't start winning with any sort of regularity until I was 9. Years later, I not-so-secretly want to coach a big-time college football team with a single-wing offense (think of Wildcat or WildHog or other WildMascot).


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CaroleTucson
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07 Aug 2009, 6:57 pm

Competitiveness makes me very uncomfortable. The flip side to this is that some people are able to pick up on Aspie traits and interpret them as weakness. They then "go for the jugular", since they perceive me as being an easy mark, which I'm not. The fact that I'm not upsets them, because people don't like it when other people don't fit their perceptions.

This whole situation is very stressful.



Landon
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19 Aug 2009, 8:29 pm

I'm very competitive, in almost everything I do. I think it's because my dad is really competitive, and I've always been competitive with my brothers.

I play soccer, basketball and tennis. In soccer and basketball, I'm competitive, because I want to do well for my team. In tennis, I'm a little less competitive, because I started out just playing with my mom (didn't take lessons until I was 11), and I've only been competing for two years.

In other things, I'm also competitive. In school, I want my grades to be as good as possible, because I want to be in the top of my class.



Meursault
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19 Aug 2009, 8:33 pm

I don't mind competition per se. It's intense, gives you a rush. At its best it yields unparalleled knowledge of self.

But I guess I see it in pure pragmatics. Can't get into the chest thumping, whooping, in-your-face victory dance mode that seems to come out of it.


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polymathpoolplayer
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19 Aug 2009, 8:57 pm

Am not competitive by nature, but I do like to compete against myself (like learning a piece of music better by practice and repetition).



idiocratik
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19 Aug 2009, 9:15 pm

Never cared for competition in any sense of the word. I have no desire to try to one-up anyone, and how this is a typical form of human behavior is truly beyond me. When did being yourself become taboo? Why do we have to always try to seem better than someone else? If I'm not accepted as who I am, then it's their loss, not mine. I think the only way I'm ever competitive is when playing pool. Never cared for sports. Hooray, the [insert team here] won. Did we accrue a cancer cure? No? Then what was the bloody point?


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ruveyn
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19 Aug 2009, 9:23 pm

I am unable to play Chess or Go without an opponent.

ruveyn



idiocratik
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19 Aug 2009, 9:30 pm

ruveyn wrote:
I am unable to play Chess or Go without an opponent.

ruveyn


I used to play chess when I was in middle school. Today I just don't enjoy it. I love playing Scrabble, though. I don't really feel competitive about it; I just enjoy coming up with words.


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glider18
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19 Aug 2009, 9:45 pm

Well...contact sports were out for me. I took on the more solitary sports of bowling and golf. In golf, I didn't like competition. But in bowling---the more competition, the better. But that may have been because I was the highest average bowler in the youth leagues at our bowling alleys. I bowled to win. But in other areas---I didn't like the competition. And I didn't get into the social workings of team play. I don't like team play in anything---sports or educational meetings. I prefer working alone.


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Tory_canuck
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20 Aug 2009, 1:26 am

For me, I don;t mind it.I consider it a learning experience.If I lose, I learn to deal with disappointment and move on.If I win, then yay for me.I played volleyball in junior high...I liked playing the game more than I did the social part...I was always pleased with myself when I spike the ball really hard and fast and it is accurate...or when I block the other teams hit over the net, and my team gets a point....If I lose, I look at HOW well I played the game, and try to practice good sportsmanship.I LOVE acedemic competitiion in college....I do pretty well in litigation where the instructor marks on a comparative basis...Due to my ASD, I fare well better than most of the others due to my ability to learn the material.I dont mind competition at work as of now, since I am considered one of the best....Aspies can at times do better than NT's in some competitions. :lol:


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