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What makes you say he isn't gifted? He gets As for one, but do you know how they define gifted?

http://www.brainy-child.com/article/und ... ness.shtml

The author of the article indicates that it is often difficult to tell the difference between a gifted child and a child with an autism spectrum disorder such as Asperger's. Some of us here feel quite passionate that giftedness is simply a different perspective on the same neurological condition, possibly one where the benefits outweigh the problems. An autism spectrum disorder, however, comes at it from the other angle (that there are behavioral issues which need addressing). Which label a child gets may largely be dependent on the severity of the autistic traits.


You just want what's best for him. That's completely normal in a parent.

It really sounds like a formal, professional diagnosis will help all of you very much. They can lay out all of the options much better than we can here. Here, we have a lot of opinions to offer about specifics, but we really can't get into the business of coming up with a game plan that's going to work for all of you.

It's not like you can't be gifted and autistic simultaneously.

Right. That's where the term "Twice Exceptional" derives from.

About being tormented: This is not an irresistible "trait" as such, as if NTs (non-autistics) just can't help tormenting an autistic person when they see one. They are responsible for their behaviour.

As already said, if your son got no diagnosis, it wouldn't do that he wouldn't be bullied. You would remain in denial, but the situation would be the same to him, even worse, because the lack of explanation of him being different.

With his diagnosis, you and his teachers have the chance to explain to his classmates, neighbour kids etc. why he is different, and how they should treat him and not treat him, how they should try to include him etc. That would minimize the risk of bullying, I guess.

So it's not like there is nothing to do or that he will always be an outcast. It's about enlightening which is supposed to lead to understanding.

On my 40th birthday I took my son in for a hearing test because I was concerned that he wasn't as articulate as his peers; his hearing is great so they proceeded in performing more cognative testing. Five ladies who administered the testing were very happy after about 45 minutes of sitting there watching my son fail test after test I couldn't understand why they were so happy. On the verge of tears I asked them what they were so happy about - what is the "high functioning" they were so happy about and one of them replied simply "No one has told you that your son has tendencies consistent with Autism?". That was 5 months ago.

After only 5 months the only advise I could offer is get through the guilt as quickly as possible for not knowing. You will get pounded with advise about the sooner you get help the better off the child will be, the faster the child can learn to communicate and function in the world the better. I wish I had known earlier - potty training could have been a completely different experience had I not approached it as working with the most stubborn child on the planet. My son has PDD-NOS, a typical autism, although I'm not exactly sure what the difference is from typical autism. After getting through piles of scientific-based books on the subject, those that focus on what is going on with Sensory issues vs those books written about emotional aspects (such as how your marriage is going to fall apart, your child is going to have emotional problems, the school system is going to reject everything you need and you are about to enter emotional hell), I am fascinated and wonder how much my son is experiencing that I take for granted. Be careful what you read and try to focus on what will help. My son has opened up my world and I am thankful to have him.

Good luck.

It seems like something on the Autism Spectrum but might be more severe than Aspergers. You should get a second opinion.

PDDNOS is the most common autism diagnosis. It exists as such a large category simply because autism is so diverse, and a child can be obviously autistic in all respects but one, meaning you can't diagnose regular autism or Asperger's autism and have to call it "atypical". The ironic thing is that "atypical" autism is actually the most typical sort of all! They also diagnose PDD-NOS if your child is very young and they can't tell how he's going to present yet, or if you're an adult and they don't have very good information on your childhood, or if it's very hard to tell because you fall on the lines between categories, or if you actually do match regular autism but they're just afraid to say "autism" because they're afraid they'll scare you! Categorizing autism is really a tangled mess, so it's better just to say "autism spectrum" and take it case by case--which therapists/teachers/etc. should be doing anyway, but often don't.

to everything you've said so far:

Don't be creeped out by the age difference between him and the deaf boy, just get to know the other kid and see if he's a good kid. :3 He's probably just glad to have made a connection with someone, that can be a very cool thing when you're different.

Also please don't feel guilty for not knowing.. because now you know. And it sounds like he's doing fine. He doesn't sound unhappy or troubled, from what you've said.

If you're afraid he will have a hard time with his peers, you might look into private schools in your area, or maybe just a group you can take him to or something. Somewhere where he can feel comfortable with other unique kids, which will let him relax and learn to socialize.

I'd say he definitely has AS.

I agree. There is nothing creepy about it, your son is just too "old" for his age in some ways and thus gets on better with older kids. I was the exact same. I still tend to get on better with much older people, aged 19. Don't take that friendship away from him.

Thank you to everyone who voted and posted.

I got his official paperwork from his psych today and he is officially diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, ADHD combined type and Anxiety disorder NOS.

The psych recommended that he be evaluated for the gifted and talented program at his school as well.

This is very confusing to me. On one hand he has these mental disorders, but on the other he is likely a "genius"? I dont get it.

Reread the entry I posted on this thread about giftedness as it relates to Asperger's / autism.

Haha, sounds SO typical autistic. Every single thing sounds so autistic .And bad news, that concentrate thing is never going to go over, if i concentrate on something i can do it all day long without doing anything else too it might reduce a little or maybe do go away since i'm not a scientist but still, it never went away with me only decreased a little but that's probably because i didn't had anything i liked anymore. I do remember to love monopoly or other games like that to the dead ofcourse no one around to play it with mostly.

I just want to note that the G&T classes are mostly not filled with actual "geniuses". I was in a G&T class for most of elementary school, and many years after the fact my mom mentioned to me that only about a third of the kids in the class had actually scored well enough on the placement test to be put in the class on that basis. The rest were considered kids of normal intelligence with a different style of learning, and therefore potential beneficiaries of a more free learning environment, plus a small number who'd been put in the class because their parents insisted they were geniuses despite test scores indicating the contrary. The interesting thing is that I could really only tell you who was who about a few of the kids, because we were really ALL very strange (with the exception of the kids whose parents had pushed, who were mostly desperate not to be in with us weirdos). The only real friends I had as a kid were kids I met in that class, and a number of them stuck with me through high school, which was a great boon at a time when I might otherwise have been totally isolated. Weird people tend to accept other weird people a bit more easily. So your son may be a "genius" and he may not be, but either way, the G&T class is probably a really good choice for him.

I was in speech therapy for years to enable me to communicate with the rest of the world. At the same time as a 4th grader I was doing my sister's high school physics homework for her. So yeah, the two things do sometimes actually go together.

It’s difficult to address this because there are assumed premises that you are not explicating here.

Firstly, I question the classification of AS as a mental disorder. It is a neurological disorder, and like epilepsy and dyslexia, I do not view it as a mental disorder.

More significantly, having a mental disorder does not necessitate that one not be intellectually and academically gifted.

AS in particular generally cannot be appropriately diagnosed in people whose measured IQ is less than 75, because most individuals whose measured IQ is less than 75 will have significant delays in developing self help skills in early childhood that rule out an AS diagnosis.

If you consider the criteria for AS, none of it directly requires any manifestation of low IQ or any trait that would necessarily prevent academic achievement. AS can present a very real barrier to achievement for many, particularly those with learning related co-morbids. However at least some of the traits have the potential to facilitate achievement too. Quite how this balances out is an interplay between the manifestation of AS traits, the extent to which co-morbid learning disorders or impairments are present, the personality of the effected person, and the environmental facilitation or constraints they experience.

Since IQ is usually in the normal range or higher, yet developmental delays (or failings) are necessarily present, most people with AS will actually manifest “fractured skill profiles”. This means that when we compare the person’s own strengths to their own weaknesses there is a significant atypical disparity. When compared to their age peers, for some this means being significantly behind in some areas and within normal range for others. However for many it entails being significantly delayed or impaired in some areas (compared to their age peers), and advanced or gifted (compared to their age peers) in others.

I hope I have provided the information you needed, although since I am guessing somewhat at where your confusion lies, I might be way off the mark, so please do ask further if my response does not satisfy your information needs.

He doesn't have a mental disorder as such. He is just different. Better in some ways, worse in others.

The childish behavior such as throwing tantrums and walking on his toes and making funny sounds (most of that in your list) will slowly disappear by his teens. Adult autism manifests itself differently because adults have learned to cope with it; some better and some worse of course. Most of the adults on the AS spectrum are highly gifted when it comes to art or science or technology, all the while we have issues with socializing, playing sports, finding a date etc.

An adult with autism may appear to others as the stereotypical antisocial but brilliant scientist or an engineer. It wouldn't surprise me if like 50% of all highly competent scientists and engineers were on the autistic spectrum!

Get him help for the sensory issues. And get him to socialize more. He needs practice. He will have to learn what comes naturally to you: reading body language and facial expressions, carrying a casual conversation.

There is TONS AND TONS of information on this forum. It is the best source of information; better than those self-help books. So just keep reading and stop worrying. It isn't so bad.

BTW, which branch of service is your husband in?