I just realized something this morning about my memory...

Post Reply New Topic

This is going to be much shorter than I'd like because I have to get going to work early, but I wanted to throw something out that maybe I'll explain more later. I was processing the movie Adam some more in my mind, and I still have to get time to write my review, but like I said in the title, I had a thought I feel compelled to share to see if people here can relate...

I'm 37 and I've long known that I have a tendency to forget things, and I've simply allowed my memory to be poor because I consider memory to be fallable. It's often been a problem for me because if I get into an arguement with someone close to me, I just don't remember things that I or they have said or done in the past, and usually the arguement is somehow something to do with me not recognizing their feelings or something like that...

But never until this morning did it actually occur to me that the problem may not be that I have a bad memory, but rather it's that I don't remember certain things for the simple reason that I don't recognize them to begin with or that my mind is more naturally suited to the processing of more tangible objects than the more abstract emotions, which I inefficiently process as though they are objects....

Anyway, that's my thought and where I need to leave off with it for now.

I find my memory is dependant on my mood. If I'm in a good mood my memory can be exceptional but if I'm stressed or upset then my memory is very poor.

I have bad memory myself. It's hard for me to tell stories or explain things. I usually have to prepare myself long and hard in order to tell a story. And even during the process of telling it I mess up. Remembering things in my childhood is blurry. I only recall a few events or things that I did. I have a brother & sister and I don't remember much of growing up with them. My whole family is like halfway strangers to me and vice verse.

I have memories of my childhood but they are visual like snapshots. I have a poor working memory and lose my train of thought when debating because of anxiety. As far as losing things, like forgetting where I put my keys, I think it is because when I put them down I'm not really there, I'm in LaLa Land so I don't remember. I spend a good part of my life on automatic pilot.

I'm very good at remembering the details of things, just not what was actually said. I can remember where someone was sitting when something happened, what the room looked like, who was present (most of the time), if I personally had to do something during it, but as far as what happened.... if it was an argument, I was usually overloaded and couldn't make sense of things myself anyway, so there is no way to truly remember what I said in meltdown/overload mode.

As far as every day things, I forget small stuff ALL the time. Before we can go anywhere, it's a full family thing to help me find my keys, to round up shoes, to find my purse... just everything we might need, and I always wind up forgetting something.

Lists in stores... I always forget at least one item, but I'm not so sure that that even counts really.

I can also remember details very well. I can remember how many items of what are in the pantry/refigerator, hehe, and exactly what happened and when and the date and time. If I am telling a story it is hard for me to tell it without messing up, and also if I did somthing yesterday or the day before, then I tend to completely forget it, but I remember things like, well, on March 12, 2005 my neighbors went on vacation, and they left at 7AM, but I can't tell you what I had for dinner the night before, LOL!! !
Is that a part of AS???

Really, and as this is my forth post and I think I forgot to mention above I should mention I only suspect I fit criteria for AS and don't actually have a diagnosis, but I've always thought I had bad memory, but I think what led me to believe that is that I don't remember what people say very well and it's probably not the memory itself but rather the fact that speech doesn't register as well...

I can look at a plastic part, for example, and picture the mold that makes it - I'll remember that. But when I started at the company I work at, I went through a 3 day service training class for the purpose of gaining product familiarity... I couldn't stay awake because it was mostly talking, I didn't learn as much as I did from having a need that drove me to actually having to perform service operations myself.

This whole revalation of the problem for me being less about memory than about what information I can receive well and what I can't is new, but it isn't the first time I've thought about how I think - I've been doing that for as long as I can remember. I've long recognzed that I think in a different way, and what I've read about how things like people recovering from having brain tumors removed has been insightful as a way of understanding how to fit into a world where people mostly think different from how I do.

In surgery to remove brain tumors, sometimes areas of the brain that might control things like muscle functions might be removed... but the recovering patient learns to use other areas of the brain to perform the functions of the area that was removed...

So I think maybe when I remember words, it's because I've found some way of framing them in the manner of perceiving things that I am good at perceiving them.

Does that make sense? Has anyone else thought something like that and found that it's helpful in working around difficulty remembering things and finding ways to improve memory?

It depends on what I'm expected to remember. Usually I do much better with things that involve classes, or something people pointed out as important. I guess you could say I'll have a near-perfect memory if I make it a point to remember something, but if I don't I might not even remember a conversation happened.