Little Kids: Autistic Meltdowns vs. NT Temper Tantrums

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Here are a sampling of videos of little kids having autistic meltdowns vs videos of little kids (I am assuming are NT having old-fashioned temper tantrums). I am not saying that one shouldn't control meltdowns, I am saying that they need to be placed in proper perspective.

Little Kids Having Autistic Meltdowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWtIfR_axmc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDUMRrNa ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNoSCXR7Zx0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-tGimFA ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7K2doN2 ... re=related

Little Kids Having Temper Tantrums

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBQgdUqNZaQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRWcPoxm ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dbU9jpK ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBJpHirR ... re=related

The tantrums of the NT children appear to be more constrained. The NT children are more self-aware and are more aware of having watchers. Their behavior appears to be calculated, at least partly, to get some response that they are trying to arouse in the watcher. While the NT children seem genuinely upset, they are also exaggerating and dramatizing their behavior intentionally.

The Autistic kids are much more in an undifferentiated, uncontrolled howl. They were not calculating their behavior to get some response out of the watchers. They were venting rage and distress more than anger.

I have Asperger's and my tantrums as a child WERE calculated and I used them to try to obtain whatever I wanted at the time.

I figured the difference was a child throwing them when they don't get their way vs an autistic child throwing one because they are overwhelmed, they are upset their routine had been disrupted or changed. Sure they can also throw one for the same reason as none autistic kids.

It's probably just me, but I can't really see much difference between them.

As a kid, I acted a lot like the NT kids when I had tantrums, no matter what I was mad about. Sometimes it was because I was just after my own way, but other times it was over things like clothing sensory issues.

I had such a hard time with clothing as a kid and I remember having frequent meltdowns/tantrums over it. It was incredibly hard for my mum to find things I'd wear because I'd only wear certain types. Socks were probably the biggest challenge. I'd only wear knee highs and they were hard to find then. Only one shop sold them in our town. I liked them because of the pressure around my legs when I wore them because they were quite tight. I couldn't wear other socks because they weren't tight enough.

So now I'm just confused. Was I having meltdowns or tantrums? I presented like a NT kid, but often my tantrums were over more Aspie-like issues.

Autistic kids can have both types of tantrums, y'know. Actually, the whiny, manipulative sort of tantrum is a good sign; it means that you've got the idea that your actions can change other people's actions, and that happens usually around two or so. Naturally, if they stick around for ages, then your parents are probably spoiling you and should quit it. But the meltdowns... those aren't a sign of anything beyond distress and overload and "get me out of here NOW I'm going nuts heeeelp!"... except you forget that there's anybody even listening to get you out of anything.

I am pretty sure that, of the many temper tantrums I've seen in grocery stores, at least one was an autistic meltdown. This particular young girl wasn't particularly loud, or violent; but it was obvious she was about at the end of her rope and quite unaware that her mother was trying to hug her. She was just standing there and wailing and trying to get away from the hug, pushing her fists against her mom's chest... I wanted to tell that mom to get the kid right back out of the store, it didn't matter that they'd just come in, just get her back someplace safe and quiet for heaven's sake... poor kid, Wal-mart can be torture. If your kid has meltdowns in the stores, then don't force them on him until you've got a good day and can try slowly...

I've also seen the "tired baby" tantrums, in anywhere from maybe nine months to three or four year olds; these kids are generally just tired of shopping, and they generally sound whiny--high-pitched voices, not particularly loud, more cranky than angry.

I am much more tolerant of tired, cranky kids than the kids who throw "I wanna" tantrums in the candy aisle or toy section... 'cause those are the kids whose parents have essentially taught them that if you throw a tantrum, you get what you want!

edit--Actually, now that I've watched those videos, the girl I remember sounded almost exactly like the little boy in the first video on your list... Spooky.

Well, I think all that means is that you weren't having autistic meltdowns, per se, but normal temper tantrums. A kid can get into a bad temper and throw a fit without it being a meltdown-type event. Not every cold is a flu.

Yeah. The kids who were acting angry (tantrums) were not attractive to me, you just want to walk away rather than give them what they want. The kids who were more distressed than angry (meltdowns) made me want to go reassure them and help them feel better.

The biggest difference that I've seen with my son is that even if you give in to what he seems to be upset about the tantrum does not stop. Say he went into a fit about not getting to do something first (a big issue with him) even if I said "okay you can go first" this would not stop the fit. He would not be able to calm down for quite awhile after the initial trigger. This is a meltdown. A tantrum would stop immediately if the desired item, or action was given into be the parents. The NT kids were acting then, looking for a reaction from the parent's, and if there were none, they escalated. My son escalates until he's removed from the room, and has time to calm down by himself. Of course, he is a child, and can have tantrums, too. Sometimes it's very, very hard to decide which is which during a fit, so I take the same approach to both. He has to go to his room (his designated take a break space) until he's calm again.

When I was a kid I did have tantrums, and meltdowns. The meltdowns usually were initiated by something happening that I didn't like, where as tantrums were about getting my way. For example, sensory issues like my clothes getting wet would set me off howling on the floor, that was a meltdown.

...

Thanks for posting these links, they help explain the differences between meltdowns and tantrums. I've annotated the links (roughly) to explain why these things are classed as one or the other. I may sound like I'm criticising parents in these comments at times, but that's not my intention.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWtIfR_axmc

The mother was nice about it but she just kept repeating herself and made no attempt to fully understand the chid's feelings. Two things could have helped here. Either going outside and sitting down with the child to talk calmly (about other things... non-related things) or simply leaving the child be so that the meltdown would burn itself out.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDUMRrNa ... re=related

This just looked like a tired child to me, I didn't think that it was a meltdown.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNoSCXR7Zx0

Too hard to really understand with the soundtrack off but it did look like a mini-meltdown. It's explained better in the second clip.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-tGimFA ... re=related

This one is much easier to follow. The reasons are obvious and the it's definately a meltdown. In this case, he needs to be left in peace... and if possible, have the problem fixed. One thing that shouldn't be done is to keep reminding him of the issues - which sadly, is what his mother keeps on doing.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7K2doN2 ... re=related

Just not visible... no comment.

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Little Kids Having Temper Tantrums

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBQgdUqNZaQ

Pretty much indistinguishable from a meltdown. There's a lot of repetitive behaviour - can somebody please explain to me why this is considered a tantrum?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRWcPoxm ... re=related

This is very obviously temper tantrum because it's designed to elict a certain response and at no point did the child lose control over their own behavour.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dbU9jpK ... re=related

The child was fully in control of the situation and this was therefore not a meltdown. It was a mini-tantrum but with a difference. In particular, the difference was that the child was feeling inadequate (and it was clear that he'd felt that way on several occasions). His parent's laughter was actually humiliating him - as parent's we've all been there, so I'm not blaming anyone but what's really important is that if this were an autistic child, then this memory would be stored in great detail and would be released during a future similar encounter. In that case, it could turn a similar small incident into a full scale meltdown.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBJpHirR ... re=related

Once again, the child was fully in`control of their actions and they were using the behaviour to manipulate their parents. This was a tantrum, not a meltdown.

i noticed that during a meltdown its very hard to be aware that there are people around you and have eye contact with them where as i feel like the NT keep looking at the parents to make it better when they dont say anything, an autistic or aspie is in their own world. personaly cant hear anything really its like theres a fire alarm going off in my head and some one needs to stop it

What other people said. A tantrum is when they're just pissed off because they want something. A meltdown is genuine loss of control and distress.

The main difference I see is the NT kids who were having tantrums were still communicating. The autistic kids were blocked off by grief and rage.

I have two boys, one with ASD and one without. My son with ASD has a mild temperament, so his meltdowns usually are not very extreme. He wouldn't even make tropical storm status. However, he is a persistent series of rainshowers that just never seem to stop. My son without ASD is very strong-willed and often has severe tantrums, Category 3 hurricane. When he doesn't get his way, watch out. It has nothing to do with an interrupted routine. But, once he has his tantrum, he's fine and generally reasonable. My non-ASD child has a high temperament. When he is throwing his tantrum, you might think he's the one with ASD.

I watched most of the autistic meltdowns but only a couple of the NT tantrums. The NT video of the girl having a tantrum by the bathroom door and the video of the autistic girl having a meltdown before her nap looked like two really tired kids to me. In those cases both of them were really sleepy, so much so they were kind of unaware of what was going on around them and just needed to unwind some and drift off.
The difference between the two was the intensity of the crying and the way it sounded. The autistic girl was louder and much more intense. She seemed more focused on the screeching and the other girl did more moving. In the videos I watched, the NT children were more animated and not as loud as the autistic meltdowns.

Don't assume an NT tantrum is just because the child is being manipulative and wants something. Often it means they are overstimulated and tired, too. Sometimes it means they are coming down with an illness like a cold or flu and they aren't feeling well. They have some things in common with the autistic meltdown.
The difference between the tantrums and meltdowns are in the ages they occur (most NT children stop having them as often by age five or six) and the way they express themselves.