Zeno wrote:
I have not read through all the posts on this thread, but it sounds like you have correctly diagnosed the cause of the problem as his going back to school. The hell that awaits an Aspie kid in school with taunting students and bullying teachers can be unbearable. Punching a hole in the wall may just be his way of expressing his rage at having to return to an environment that never stops hurting him.
It is of course never acceptable to be violent, but many people on the spectrum are known to behave violently on occasion; either to others or to themselves. Negative emotions like anger or fear is often mishandled by the autistic brain. Add to this the stresses of dealing with a hostile environment where the aggressor towards the Aspie is often rewarded, and the result can be a child who grows up seeking violence as a normative expression of inner rage. Such outbursts can temporarily alleviate the sense of futile loathing and hatred, but none of the root causes will be solved.
If you are worried about your son growing up to be a violent young man who may hurt you or others in your family, then you need to take those hunches seriously. If school is not working out, consider homeschooling him. Many Aspie kids are intelligent autodidacts who are probably better off learning on their own than dealing with a teacher who does not know much anyway. Unlike others, I do not believe that forcing your son to socialize is necessarily in his best interests. If he cannot do it, then it must be recognized that he has this impairment. Forcing him to learn how to adjust to society may actually just break him instead of developing any worthwhile skills.
Great post, Zeno! Some people think social contact is the only way to correct social issues. The right kind of social contact is beneficial, but there's no sense in making someone go someplace where they are bullied on a daily basis and miserable. The only bad thing about homeschooling is some parents can't do it because they work or they don't have enough time during the day for some reason. The books can be expensive too, unless you look around for good deals on the internet.
Some Aspies might be distracted by their special interest and won't do the basic coarses so it's important to make sure they study the main subjects: grammar, spelling, handwriting (because the hand/eye coordination can be bad and practicing can improve this. The more they practice the better their hand/eye coordination becomes so it's not a hopeless situation). If your Aspie child has an aptitude for math and science they can progress much more quickly if you work with them during homeschooling, ending up several grades ahead in these two areas. The individual attention and quiet environment of home keeps distractions to a minimum and it's easier to focus. Plus,
you can go on more science related field trips, to the zoo or museums.
Your schedule becomes more flexible and you can devote more time to areas your child has trouble with.
Some states have support networks for homeschooling parents. They can offer advice on your state's regulations. Some are more regulated than others and may have specific requirements.
By the time your child reaches the high school levels there's several alternatives. Online high schools, correspondence coarses that offer high school diplomas, the GED. There might be a chance they will return to school at this point, but might need to take a test to get in.
I happen to live in a state that's very friendly toward the concept of homeschooling. The friendlier the state you live in, the easier it is to homeschool.
05 Sep 2009, 1:40 am
