aspies with accents that are differnt

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I have the typical northern American/Canadian accent, so generally I'm not accused of having a strange accent, but a lot of people tell me that they can't understand me because I don't use a lot of inflection and have a quiet voice. Apparently I am human white noise.

I do have a strange problem in which I start using a Southern or "gangsta" accent at really weird times...usually when I'm feeling particularly awkward and want to make people laugh. I also spoke Franglais for a very long time, even though I live far within the boundaries of English Canada.

Despite being at least a 5th generation Texan, I don't have the stereotypical cowboy/redneck style of talking.

I have a high-pitched, almost feminine-sounding voice, and I sound like I could be from the Rust Belt (Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, etc.)

people always say I "hold my words" that's aways how they describe it.. and that I have a southern-ish accent even though I'm not from the south. I don't know anyone else who talks this way except sometimes people who are around me for a long time will start picking it up, and they find it really annoying.

I was born into a family of strict patriotic Canadians, and I speak with a Cockney accent, that I'm very proud of. The bigger kids in my elementary school, would taunt me outside the gym, the first thing each morning and the last thing, each afternoon. They would be standing there, waiting for me to say something to the kids that I rode the school bus with, and whenever I opened my mouth, they'd sing, "Shelby is a Cockney! Shelby is a Cockney!" I was between the ages 7 and 9, at the time. I've finally asked one of my teachers what a Cockney was, and they pointed the word out to me, in a dictionary. I think that the reason that I've picked up the accent at such a young age, was because I thought that my Canadian and American peers were a bunch of dinks who didn't respect people who were different, and I wanted some sort of foreign accent from the beginning, so that I wouldn't sound like those jerks.

I travel internationally quite often, and pretty much wherever I go people cannot place where I come from, even when I return to the place where I grew up. When I'm not tripping over my tongue, I do tend to speak a bit slowly, and always enunciate clearly, in whatever language I am speaking or attempting.

Top two (incorrect) guesses I receive, especially when in Europe: Canadian or Icelandic. Must be a combination of accent and being tall with red hair.

As a kid, one boy in school would tease me because he thought I talked like one from Copenhagen (I've never done that though). Or others would say I spoke more slowly, or more distinctly.

The most funny came some days ago, and I said to a guy who was about to sit by the table where I was: "Just plant yourself here" (an odd way to say "sit down"). He thought I spoke Faroese at first. (I don't know that language though).
He had lived at the Faroe Islands and thought that my accent was like that. Noone has ever told me that before. Maybe I was just mumbling a bit more that day (I think Faroese sounds a bit mumbling sometimes).

I've been asked if I was from Texas several times by travelling Americans in the area. I was raised in Northern Ontario, in the middle of nowhere. I never watch much television even to this day. So TV was never really the cause of my apparentently Texan sound. I think It's because I use rural metaphors and comparisons a lot, and forget to say parts of words when I get all excited over something. I call my grandmother 'Granny' and my mother 'ma'. I ooze Texan goodness in the time, I suppose...