Is this social anxiety/social phobia or something else?
I have said I dont think I have social anxiety or social phobia because I dont feel nervous/anxious or fearful in social situations unless people happen to point out to me that Ive misinterpreted whats considered as that and that hasnt happened yet. I have one thing to ask though. If I have had a stressful day and had a social event to go to that evening with people I dont know particularly well and choose to stay on the outskirts of things by staying outside the door of the main room turning down offers to come in to the big group but chatting one on one with the occasional person who came along to strike up a conversation, and letting my turn pass without me answering in group introductions causing a bit of a silence when it came to my turn and somebody else later introducing me to the group for me instead of me doing it myself while probably appearing rather fidgety myself all this time... what would you consider that? Am I just rude? Maybe im just thinking too much...
spooky13
Velociraptor
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 499
Location: Drifting through the fog of reality
Sounds like anxiety to me. Not neccessarily social anxiety, depending if at other times you can handle being in groups of people and/ or different social situations. ( I do have anxiety and the social problem myself )
It might be in your case of just too much stress and stimulation, sometimes out minds can't seem to cope with all the input of a stressful day, dealing with strangers, the feeling that we have to be social, etc.
_________________
"Why do it today when I can put it off until tomorrow."
Diagnosed aspie with an NT alter-ego.
I don't suffer from social anxiety, but large gatherings such as the one you describe irritate me because I am sensitive to the noise and bustle (especially the din). The longer I attend the event the worse it gets. If the possibility existed, I might very well do as you did, and stay outside the main group.
I had to attend many such gatherings in a professional capacity, and in such cases it is important to undertake your avoidance as discretely as possible so as not to appear excessively outside the "group". I mainly did this by forcing myself to be present for key moments, and then leaving or getting off to a quiet place. If you knew there were going to be group introductions, it probably would have been wise to join your group for the short while that your introduction was taking place. NT's are quite keen on this group/team concept and in my experience it is best to play along to a certain degree. If this happened on just one occasion, though, I wouldn't worry about it. If someone mentions it, just tell them you had had a really stressful day and were decompressing.
I think the important question is how exactly would you describe the feelings that led you to stay away from the larger social group. Maybe you don't have much excessive social anxiety, but you just get easily worn down and confused by to much social interaction. Also it can be hard to know how to interpret your level of certain feelings like anxiety.
I know for a long time when I was young I frequently convinced myself I was normal and just more shy than others. Now even though I've gotten used to engaging in more constant daily interaction with people I realize I get tired of dealing with people in general to varying degrees daily and/or weekly or even if I get real lonely I avoid any contact with others for a while.
So you need to consider why you behave that way and how you would feel if forced into a larger group situation when you don't feel like it.
fiddlerpianist
Veteran
Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,821
Location: The Autistic Hinterlands
I never thought I had social anxiety, and then I realized that I get it in unfamiliar, public places from time to time. I almost always get anxious in public when there is a group of teenagers hanging around. It's completely irrational, really, but I suspect it relates to some of the verbal abuse I suffered growing up.
_________________
"That leap of logic should have broken his legs." - Janissy
I have social anxiety, no as. I get a nervous, sick feeling in my stomach when in social situations or even when thinking about it. I'm better one on one. I think if u have a bad day, it's ok to not want to socialize. My problem is I have this feeling constantly. Even at work, a place where I go 5 days a week for years now. I'm still nervous walking through the doors, I put my head down so I don't see anyone, I walk fast so no one says hi, sometimes I ponder walking the long way to get to my desk. I don't hate the people there, I like some of them, I just have fear and anxiety of walking in. I'm fine when I sit down. I have a horrible time at the meetings. I can't speak up nor sit in the middle. This feeling is constant. If it's once and a while I think you're fine. Everyone feels a little aloof some days.
Ive no bother with group situations, but im usually rather quiet and inactive in group situations. No nervous sick feelings or anything. Other family members of mine have been formally identified as having social phobia and theres alot more im willing to do socially than they are but at the same time being more clueless than they are. I socialise a bit better one on one but its usually led by the other person unless the topic switches to something im interested in, which is pretty narrow, and when it comes to those I have been accused of being obsessive. I have never been diagnosed with anything, not a.s. or anything else. Im not claiming to have anything undiagnosed either, I cant claim to have anything(even to myself) when I havnt even had as much as a formal screening let alone an actual full assessment. All ive done is the usual online quizes.
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