Breaking down and crying in the classroom

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Hi everyone.

I have not been formally diagnosed, but think that I have mild Autism or Aspergers. My four year old son was diagnosed with mild autism at 3 1/2 years.

I was thinking back on my childhood and remember getting my first feeling of panic/dread in 2nd grade. I did not understand the lesson and was terribly worried about it and began crying in the lunchroom. I was not good at math (I know a lot of Aspies are good at math - I just don't seem to be one of them). My dad used to try to "tutor" me in math and ended up screaming at me and beating the table. All through elementary school and high school, if I did not understand the lesson, I would panic and burst into tears. I would have to leave the classroom suddenly because of this. The problem spilt into other subjects (even typing class

As an adult, after many years and much growing (as well as a lot of reading and thought) - I can pretty much control this problem. I speak to my profs' workshop leaders or ??? and explain that I have a problem with panicking when I don't understand something. I explain that I need to sit near the door (for a quick, unobtrusive exit) and that I sometimes need clarification. I further ask that I not be made fun of or asked a question (If I am willing to ask a question or share a question, I will volunteer). Almost all workshop leaders, instructors and profs are very understanding. I also remind myself that not knowing whatever is being presented is not the end of the world and that I WILL understand it eventually, I just need to take my sweet time.

Anyways - are there other autistics or aspies who have this problem or am I just plain weird?

Thanks.

Last edited by CanadianRose on 21 Sep 2009, 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yea.. when I get panicked, nothing registers. It doesn't matter if someone tries to make it easier or whatever, at that moment when I'm already overwhelmed, I just need to be somewhere quiet and alone to calm down. Anything else just makes it worse.

I sit right by the exit of a room. Closer to the toilets/fire exits eh?

Also, no personal attacks on this forum! Don't even put yourself down!

I didn't go to a traditional school, but I had problems with math. I cried in math class because I couldn't understand long division. a teacher's assistant sat with me for a session and went over it step by step and then it suddenly made sense, and I wondered why the teacher couldn't explain it so it made sense in the first place. I dropped out of high school algebra 3 years in a row because I couldn't learn in a classroom with other kids. when I was 16 I took college algebra and did fine. the teacher made sense and the textbooks were better, and I studied and did all the problems and got A's and B's on everything. I got completely lost in astronomy though, when I was in college. none of the math made sense to me and the professor didn't make a bit of sense either, even though I studied and tested out of math at a pre-calculus level.

I also cried once when I couldn't get my teacher's attention so she could tell me if there were one or two L's in the word "actually". I wouldn't write anything unless I knew it was spelled correctly. I was about 10 years old when that happened.

I hate getting called on in classes. always have. I also get very anxious when I want to volunteer an answer, and I stutter if I get brave enough to volunteer and get called on.

I have a vivid memory of having a panic attack in Kindergarten because I knew it was my turn to answer the question of what the weather was like outside that day. The weather! What could be more simple that saying "it's sunny" ?? After that, it pretty much went all down hill through the school years. I hate being called on for anything unless I already feel like I'm well versed in it. I still have a habit of researching things ahead of time before I go somewhere should I feel like I'm being put on the spot. But sometimes I struggle to retain the information that's being presented to me. It all depends on how relevant it is to my life at that time. If I see no value in it, I have a hard time making it make sense in my head.

I've always been a sit near the exit kind of girl. I like to get in and out easily with bumping into as few people as possible.

But you're not a big crybaby. I didn't get my own diagnosis until after my son got his.

I always sat as close as I could to the door all throughout high school and college. By the time I got to college I was having panic-attacks on a regular basis (being worried about being called upon) and it helped a little bit to know that I could just walk out the door at any time.

A Rose in bloom topic

You are not a "crybaby". When i first saw this thread I thought someone was insulting someone in PPR.

But unlike the others here, I sat near the front so I could concentrate better and not have to look at the other students. I was the last to leave so the others would leave first.

I still have anxiety episodes and I am a tutor! I would go home and spend hours on a subject in order to understand and then master it. I still do this. it works for me.

You sound like a conscientious person. And you are busy with a little one.

I too am more sensitive to stress than most people.
If I feel frustrated or upset, for example, I can become
very agitated.

Best seat in the house!

My older sister would do the same as you did and she's undiagnosed (my parents gave up on taking her to the doctor before Dr. Golden came to town.) I do something kinda similar, but it has more to do with learning hand-things. That is, I would panic whenver I was trying to tie my shoes, ride a bike or drive a car. I can tie my shoes and ride a bike now but not a car yet.

Same! (Well, I didn't have a specific forum in mind.. but I saw it from the main page, and I totally clicked on it expecting to report somebody for attacking CanadianRose!)

I have never done a thing like that, the closest thing that has happened was when I was so ANGRY at math that I ran into the toilet and cried.

Yes, I've gotten yelled at by my mother while trying to explain math concepts and homework. For some reason, I couldn't process what she was telling me, although my IQ is fairly high. As usual, there's a discrepancy. I am also good at doing fairly well on math question in standardized test but have failed countless tests administered in classrooms to see if I have mastered the skill. I have blanked out so many times on math tests of all sorts, to the point it has caused me to drop or fail pre algebra classes.
I had a pre algebra textbook, studied it and did practice problems and tested into intermediate algebra only to not pass it. I did great up until a point, then something local happened and it upset me greatly. I felt doomed and cursed, although I don't believe in curses, I still felt like this dark cloud was hanging over me whenever the subject was math or algebra.
At home, studying on my own, I can figure out all kinds of things. Put me in a classroom, I panick, my mind blanks, I can't make heads nor tails out of simple concepts. Only in math. I can wing it through all other subjects. I don't know why that is (
It has caused me a lot of agony, 'tho.

I don't cry, but I can panic if I don't understand something. The only problem is that I automatically hide my panic (I don't want to, it just happens and I can't help it) so nobody really knows when I'm panicing.

CanadianRose, are you saying that your problems in the classroom were after results of your father's treatment towards you?

Because I can definitely relate to that. Because of my social problems with kids harassing me and staff not believing me, I was placed in a separate classroom sitting very far away from the few other people who were in the room, facing the corner while the teacher ignored me. The one time she tried to help me ended up with her getting frustrated, and while she didn't flip out, she just gave up. After that day, she would bring in my classwork from the other class, and she would just put it on the desk in front of me and tell me to do it.

If that didn't affect me enough, I was forced into an art course in middle school as at least one elective class was required. First class I was told off by the teacher for asking too many questions. WTF?

This has affected me for the rest of my life so far. While I hadn't broke down and cried in class, I will not ask for help and while still in school I ended up failing, and even when filling out tax paper work for a side job, I wouldn't ask for help when I didn't understand something. I just sat there for quite a while and stared at my paper, and I ended up leaving long after the other newly hired employees when the boss had finally asking me if I had needed help.

I was also scared as hell during one on one guitar lessons, when I would usually pretend to understand the parts that I truly didn't.

I'm adult. I cried a lot in childhood like that. I still break down and cry. I've cried at work several times!! so no need to worry. Plus I suck at math too.
Not everyone can be good at everything that includes aspies.