CAN identify many emotions, but don't know how to respond

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I can identify many emotions and facial expressions in other people, but I don't know what they mean, as in I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say back to that person. I can tell if someone gives me a dirty look, but I don't know what it's about, so I don't respond. I can tell if someone is angry, but I wonder if they want me to help them, or if they will snap at me, or if they want to be left alone. So I don't respond.

Is this Aspie quality? Even though I can often (not always) identify someone's mood, I have a pervasive habit of unresponsiveness. Often it is just because I can't think of anything to say, or it takes too long for me to think of something, and by the time I've figured it out, I've missed my cue to speak. Then I wonder if I am speaking out of turn, and should I just go ahead and say it out of synch with the conversation? Sometimes I do, but usually I keep my comment repeating in my head and never manage to say it out loud.

I am also really unsure of my voice, and that prevents me from speaking. My voice as a child was very quiet, and people either never heard me, or made me repeat myself over and over and over because apparently half the world is deaf. It always made me more upset and embarrassed when people were angry and frustrated with me that they couldn't hear me. I withdrew even more to avoid having to use my voice. I've had too much criticism over it.

So whenever I do say something, I wonder if my voice will sound right. I'm usually convinced it won't.

I have thought the exact same thing about myself, and I wonder if it's more accurate than the supposed symptom of simply being unable to read facial expressions. I can identify facial expressions and emotions quite well, and feel others emotions intensely and intrusively, but I have no idea what to do about it. I'm bad at comforting people nonverbally.

I don't think that's particularly unusual for aspies, especially with more common/obvious emotions. Part of being able to read people is to have some ability to fathom why as well as what. Not to mention how much. I have HUGE problems, when I figure out that somebody feels a particular way, figuring out how much they feel it. There's a big difference between responding to a minor annoyance and responding to something that's got somebody totally pissed off.
In the Thematic Apperception Test test they do in psychological testing, they show you pictures of people, and you're supposed to come up with a story about the people, like just look at it and figure out what you think has happened to the person that day and stuff. Apparently the fact that I couldn't freaking figure it out meant that I just wasn't trying or something, because God forbid I'm not able to make up a story about somebody based on a picture of them. (Others here may have had a similar experience with that one?) I have no idea how somebody would go about inventing a whole story based on nothing but a picture.

Yeah, ITA.

I think I am pretty good at reading people's expressions, however I am unable to respond appropriately since I am usually unmoved by the feelings of others. For example, when someone I know is sad, the only response that comes to mind is "that sucks, sorry". This is usually not enough to show the appropriate sympathy, so I say nothing (which is often just as bad).

While no one knows I am an aspie, some have at least noticed I struggle with this. My sister-in-law's grandma died and she was crying. I wend to her to say something because I knew I should, but nothing came out and she said "I know you are trying, it is ok, thanks.".

In another instance, someone I knew (an ex-coworker) got H1N1 flu and was near death in the hospital (she has since recovered). One of her friends kept me up-to-date by text and I had to keep asking my current co-workers for appropriate responses to text back so I wouldn't seem rude or uncaring.

That's sounds like me as well. I can tell sometimes very minute facial expressions, but how I'm supposed to respond at to what degree is a mystery. When someone tells me very bad news, I immediately detach and it's like I'm a separate person within myself observing. I think it's a defense mechanism. It's not that I specifically don't care but anything I might say feels false and I feel awkward saying it. If there is no facial expression I am totally lost.

Emoticons....

My little pea brain renamed it "Thematic Asperception" - and believed it until I just seen it written down again. Not that I am in denial or anything, it's just a coincidence that I happen to google it to check the spelling Anyway, I had the complete opposite results happen, from that particular portion of interrogation, I had no trouble at all or delayed thought in describing the current picture in extereme detail, but I was constantly interrupted with the phrase "can you answer the question?" (said with a smirk). I eventually shut down and focused on the background of the picture or give one word answers because I found it rather biased and unfair to expect a certain "keep up with the jones" type of answers.
I am glad that I'm not a cookie cutter "Pattern", must be a boring cardboard life I guess.
Now being so boring might explain why they pick on others.

With actual people, it is a completely 100% different story. The pictures didn't have eyes piercing through me or attitudes that I couldn't not deal with. When they were handing out communication skills, I told them not to interrupt me

I'm not the only one! Yes I do pick up people's emotions and am strongly affected by them but I just don't know how to respond. If someone is displaying an emotion expecially negative I just get completely lost on what to do about it. And might just stand/sit there really stiff trying not to smirk even though it isn't funny or I might say "oh, thats must be bad" whilst hoping for their emotion to change. When it's positive I'm not overlly enthusiatic even though I am very happy with there happiness. It's almost like I have plenty of empathy but no use for it.

Same here, i can see some of the expressions, but i dont always know what to make of them . . . especially in a conversation. If they're laughing, or I see a general smile, i know the conversation is lighthearted and witty. If i see someone wince or crying, i know something is painful. But if its a conversation that goes all over the place and the expressions go through all the ranges, Im at a loss. Granted, on the negative end of the emotions, im not always empathetic and hardly understand their loss (for example, i was devastated at the loss of my grandmother (mother's mother) since she was on of the few who connected with me. But for my dad's stepfather, i was at a loss since we never really connected). There was actually a expression test on another thread somewhere and i scored a 71%, but i had time to look at them and decide. In a conversation, that kind of luxury isnt available.

I often have amazingly accurate insights into what people are thinking and feeling. But I think it comes from hypervigilance, sixty years of trying to figure out whether I've been rejected or I've upset them and what feelings might be attached to that so I've gotten some degree of accuracy even when my stuff is not an issue. When I'm wrong, I'm typically 180 degrees wrong, which happens frequently. Even when I'm accurate, I have no idea how to respond and will most likely respond the wrong way if I do.

On the flipside, everybody almost always misinterprets what I'm thinking and feeling. Their accuracy rate climbs much higher if they decide to accept me as I am, but they're also more apt to check their guesses out with me or listen when I correct them.

I have the same problem because I lack empathy. It's like I know what they feeling but I DON'T FEEL IT. Alot of times when you FEEL something it triggers a connection to your mind and it brings words out your mouth on what to say. We don't have that clear connection.

Same here. I don't really lack empathy, but i must say whatever empathy i have is not a lot. I can read when a person is mad or sad or whatever, but i just can't find the words...ummm, i am just not the comforting type of person and i just shut down, ignore what i see and move on to something else. One reason i don't care to make friends IRL cause i am afraid they will have spousal problems or some other problems and i have to be there for them; to lend a shoulder to cry on and i am just so stuck when it comes to things like that. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. I would only seek friendship if we could all be happy and have a great time...but i guess you get both side with a friendship...i am just not that interested.