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This seems creepy to me

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Maggiedoll
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01 Oct 2009, 4:55 pm

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
Maybe it's because some men think living with another man is a bit "gay". :?


This was the first thing that came to my mind about the reason.. Never underestimate the male phobia of "seeming" gay..



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01 Oct 2009, 4:56 pm

Silvervarg wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
So what if it's a guy looking for a relationship with a woman, what's so wrong about that? Why is it that even men have been culturally programmed to believe that wanting a woman is automatically creepy? A lot of guys end up meeting their female partners this way. A woman usually comes from some bad situation, sometimes because she can't get along with her mother or can't afford to buy her own house, so she stays with a guy. They end up liking each other, having kids, getting married, etc. If not this, then men and women usually end up pairing off under other life circumstances that bring them together, such as a long friendship. Happens all the time. You don't think guys just walk up to complete strangers looking for partners, do you?


Yeah but then he could be doing other things. Like, things that might involve bodies buried in the backyard. Feels too much like he's luring women so he can doooo things to them, which they may necessarily not want.

It's not that wanting a woman is creepy, it's a man and a woman who are not married/in a relationship that are not related sharing a house that is creepy. It provides for a situation where he might take advantage of it. And not in a good way, either. I mean in a roofie-slipping kind of way.

Americans are always paranoid. ^^

It's not paranoia if it's true... :? And plenty of times, it is.



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01 Oct 2009, 5:03 pm

Silvervarg wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
So what if it's a guy looking for a relationship with a woman, what's so wrong about that? Why is it that even men have been culturally programmed to believe that wanting a woman is automatically creepy? A lot of guys end up meeting their female partners this way. A woman usually comes from some bad situation, sometimes because she can't get along with her mother or can't afford to buy her own house, so she stays with a guy. They end up liking each other, having kids, getting married, etc. If not this, then men and women usually end up pairing off under other life circumstances that bring them together, such as a long friendship. Happens all the time. You don't think guys just walk up to complete strangers looking for partners, do you?


Yeah but then he could be doing other things. Like, things that might involve bodies buried in the backyard. Feels too much like he's luring women so he can doooo things to them, which they may necessarily not want.

It's not that wanting a woman is creepy, it's a man and a woman who are not married/in a relationship that are not related sharing a house that is creepy. It provides for a situation where he might take advantage of it. And not in a good way, either. I mean in a roofie-slipping kind of way.

Americans are always paranoid. ^^

That's nice but I don't live in America.



sgrannel
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01 Oct 2009, 5:07 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
So what if it's a guy looking for a relationship with a woman, what's so wrong about that? Why is it that even men have been culturally programmed to believe that wanting a woman is automatically creepy? A lot of guys end up meeting their female partners this way. A woman usually comes from some bad situation, sometimes because she can't get along with her mother or can't afford to buy her own house, so she stays with a guy. They end up liking each other, having kids, getting married, etc. If not this, then men and women usually end up pairing off under other life circumstances that bring them together, such as a long friendship. Happens all the time. You don't think guys just walk up to complete strangers looking for partners, do you?


Yeah but then he could be doing other things. Like, things that might involve bodies buried in the backyard. Feels too much like he's luring women so he can doooo things to them, which they may necessarily not want.

It's not that wanting a woman is creepy, it's a man and a woman who are not married/in a relationship that are not related sharing a house that is creepy. It provides for a situation where he might take advantage of it. And not in a good way, either. I mean in a roofie-slipping kind of way.


See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. We're not all rapists and serial killers. That's actually a very small minority of men, just like the hybristophiles are actually a very small minority of women (hopefully).

Oh, and men can be somewhat wary, too. Approaching complete strangers instead of expressing interest in someone I know something about seems a bit creepy to me. Women can be a danger to men too, such as those who are into Drama and Trouble (D&T) who get a thrill out of manipulating their guys into going out and beating up/getting beat up by another guy, especially the ones who already have another guy they keep around just for this purpose. I'm sure these are much, much more common than the women who are specifically turned on by serial killers, so we have to be careful, too. I can see another, more innocent intent behind what he's doing.

If I approach a complete stranger, I am taking a risk because I don't know anything about her. Furthermore, I take a greater risk of hurting her feelings because I am expressing interest in someone I know nothing about, and I may be interpreted as hurtful or leading her on if I later decide I don't like her. The stranger situation demands that an emotional investment is made by both people, which is out of line with how much is known about each other. By setting up a roommate situation, or possibly living in another apartment in the same house across the hall (these things are not always interconnected, and can often be locked separately), he gets a chance to get to know someone before expressing any interest. He might decide he's not interested in whoever moves in, and if so, the plausible deniability is maintained, because, after all, he was only looking for someone to share a rented house.


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Last edited by sgrannel on 01 Oct 2009, 6:37 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Shebakoby
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01 Oct 2009, 5:10 pm

sgrannel wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
So what if it's a guy looking for a relationship with a woman, what's so wrong about that? Why is it that even men have been culturally programmed to believe that wanting a woman is automatically creepy? A lot of guys end up meeting their female partners this way. A woman usually comes from some bad situation, sometimes because she can't get along with her mother or can't afford to buy her own house, so she stays with a guy. They end up liking each other, having kids, getting married, etc. If not this, then men and women usually end up pairing off under other life circumstances that bring them together, such as a long friendship. Happens all the time. You don't think guys just walk up to complete strangers looking for partners, do you?


Yeah but then he could be doing other things. Like, things that might involve bodies buried in the backyard. Feels too much like he's luring women so he can doooo things to them, which they may necessarily not want.

It's not that wanting a woman is creepy, it's a man and a woman who are not married/in a relationship that are not related sharing a house that is creepy. It provides for a situation where he might take advantage of it. And not in a good way, either. I mean in a roofie-slipping kind of way.


See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. We're not all rapists and serial killers. That's actually a very small minority of men, just like the hybristophiles are actually a very small minority of women (hopefully). Oh, and men can be somewhat wary, too. Approaching complete strangers instead of expressing interest in someone I know something about seems a bit creepy to me. I can see another, more innocent intent behind what he's doing.

If I approach a complete stranger, I am taking a risk because I don't know anything about her. Furthermore, I take a greater risk of hurting her feelings because I am expressing interest in someone I know nothing about, and I may be interpreted as hurtful or leading her on if I later decide I don't like her. The stranger situation demands that an emotional investment is made by both people, which is out of line with how much is known about each other. By setting up a roommate situation, or possibly living in another apartment in the same house across the hall (these things are not always interconnected, and can often be locked separately), he gets a chance to get to know someone before expressing any interest. He might decide he's not interested in whoever moves in, and if so, the plausible dependability is maintained, because, after all, he was only looking for someone to share a rented house.


yeah well the creepy part was the one guy was middle aged but looking for a woman in her 20s. CREEEEEEEEEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY CITAY.

On the flip side, why would a woman go live with a man she knows nothing about? It's about the same as a man approaching a woman he knows nothing about.



Last edited by Shebakoby on 01 Oct 2009, 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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01 Oct 2009, 5:12 pm

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Did the ad look like this? Sounds a little sketchy.

Quote:
Wanted, female for roommate. Must be size 12 or greater. Non-climber, non-runner preferred. Must not have allergy to duct tape. Please apply if you can say the following phrase clearly and distinctly, "it puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again." Fear of dark pits, a plus.


LOL. Well not quite, but still. Middle aged man. 20something woman desired? What am I supposed to think?



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01 Oct 2009, 5:28 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Did the ad look like this? Sounds a little sketchy.

Quote:
Wanted, female for roommate. Must be size 12 or greater. Non-climber, non-runner preferred. Must not have allergy to duct tape. Please apply if you can say the following phrase clearly and distinctly, "it puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again." Fear of dark pits, a plus.


LOL. Well not quite, but still. Middle aged man. 20something woman desired? What am I supposed to think?


Well yeah, I agree that a middle aged guy looking for 20's female roommate is too many red flags at once.


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01 Oct 2009, 5:51 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
So what if it's a guy looking for a relationship with a woman, what's so wrong about that? Why is it that even men have been culturally programmed to believe that wanting a woman is automatically creepy? A lot of guys end up meeting their female partners this way. A woman usually comes from some bad situation, sometimes because she can't get along with her mother or can't afford to buy her own house, so she stays with a guy. They end up liking each other, having kids, getting married, etc. If not this, then men and women usually end up pairing off under other life circumstances that bring them together, such as a long friendship. Happens all the time. You don't think guys just walk up to complete strangers looking for partners, do you?


Yeah but then he could be doing other things. Like, things that might involve bodies buried in the backyard. Feels too much like he's luring women so he can doooo things to them, which they may necessarily not want.

It's not that wanting a woman is creepy, it's a man and a woman who are not married/in a relationship that are not related sharing a house that is creepy. It provides for a situation where he might take advantage of it. And not in a good way, either. I mean in a roofie-slipping kind of way.


See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. We're not all rapists and serial killers. That's actually a very small minority of men, just like the hybristophiles are actually a very small minority of women (hopefully). Oh, and men can be somewhat wary, too. Approaching complete strangers instead of expressing interest in someone I know something about seems a bit creepy to me. I can see another, more innocent intent behind what he's doing.

If I approach a complete stranger, I am taking a risk because I don't know anything about her. Furthermore, I take a greater risk of hurting her feelings because I am expressing interest in someone I know nothing about, and I may be interpreted as hurtful or leading her on if I later decide I don't like her. The stranger situation demands that an emotional investment is made by both people, which is out of line with how much is known about each other. By setting up a roommate situation, or possibly living in another apartment in the same house across the hall (these things are not always interconnected, and can often be locked separately), he gets a chance to get to know someone before expressing any interest. He might decide he's not interested in whoever moves in, and if so, the plausible dependability is maintained, because, after all, he was only looking for someone to share a rented house.


yeah well the creepy part was the one guy was middle aged but looking for a woman in her 20s. CREEEEEEEEEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY CITAY.

On the flip side, why would a woman go live with a man she knows nothing about? It's about the same as a man approaching a woman he knows nothing about.

Ehrm... might I please ask you to post all relevant facts in the first post, it really saves people alot of time.


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01 Oct 2009, 5:56 pm

sgrannel wrote:
So what if it's a guy looking for a relationship with a woman, what's so wrong about that? Why is it that even men have been culturally programmed to believe that wanting a woman is automatically creepy? A lot of guys end up meeting their female partners this way. A woman usually comes from some bad situation, sometimes because she can't get along with her mother or can't afford to buy her own house, so she stays with a guy. They end up liking each other, having kids, getting married, etc. If not this, then men and women usually end up pairing off under other life circumstances that bring them together, such as a long friendship. Happens all the time. You don't think guys just walk up to complete strangers looking for partners, do you?


Nothing is wrong with looking for a relationship with a woman....in a "relationship wanted" ad. It is unspeakably creepy to deliberately lie and mislead potential roomates about your actual intentions. As an NT I've done my share of little lies. But that crosses the line. Crosses WAY over the line. And is creepy. If a woman answers a "roomate wanted" ad, that is what she is looking for. She is not looking for some creep (which is what he is, if those are his intentions) to wait until she is literally trapped before he starts hitting on her.

If it happens organically and he WASN'T looking for it, then fine. The creepiness comes from that being his intention all along. Generally if somebody you aren't interested in starts hitting on you, you can get away from them. But if you LIVE with the guy you aren't interested in who starts hitting on you. That's a waking nightmare that I shudder to even think about. And you think this is somehow ok????



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01 Oct 2009, 5:59 pm

Janissy wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
So what if it's a guy looking for a relationship with a woman, what's so wrong about that? Why is it that even men have been culturally programmed to believe that wanting a woman is automatically creepy? A lot of guys end up meeting their female partners this way. A woman usually comes from some bad situation, sometimes because she can't get along with her mother or can't afford to buy her own house, so she stays with a guy. They end up liking each other, having kids, getting married, etc. If not this, then men and women usually end up pairing off under other life circumstances that bring them together, such as a long friendship. Happens all the time. You don't think guys just walk up to complete strangers looking for partners, do you?


Nothing is wrong with looking for a relationship with a woman....in a "relationship wanted" ad. It is unspeakably creepy to deliberately lie and mislead potential roomates about your actual intentions. As an NT I've done my share of little lies. But that crosses the line. Crosses WAY over the line. And is creepy. If a woman answers a "roomate wanted" ad, that is what she is looking for. She is not looking for some creep (which is what he is, if those are his intentions) to wait until she is literally trapped before he starts hitting on her.

If it happens organically and he WASN'T looking for it, then fine. The creepiness comes from that being his intention all along. Generally if somebody you aren't interested in starts hitting on you, you can get away from them. But if you LIVE with the guy you aren't interested in who starts hitting on you. That's a waking nightmare that I shudder to even think about. And you think this is somehow ok????


Yeah, that's what I was thinking about the guys that posted the ads, it's like 'dude, why don't you post an ad in the personals?'



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01 Oct 2009, 9:08 pm

i couldnt live with another male
if i had to share my home it would have to be with a female and i'd state that in the ad id place
but then again i probaly would post the ad because id be freakin out about having to meet strangers
i genrally get along with females a lot easyer, im intimidated by males
so it can be creepy, but it could be innocent as well