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Who_Am_I
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06 Oct 2009, 10:23 pm

I was on the bus today, and I saw someone who I know. I sat on the seat behind her, and she moved over in her seat so that the seat closest to the aisle was empty. Was this an invitation to sit next to her?


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Krasher
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06 Oct 2009, 10:24 pm

For one of our kind, there is only one way to find out.



Shebakoby
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06 Oct 2009, 10:53 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
I was on the bus today, and I saw someone who I know. I sat on the seat behind her, and she moved over in her seat so that the seat closest to the aisle was empty. Was this an invitation to sit next to her?


Quite possibly.



pat2rome
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06 Oct 2009, 11:07 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
I was on the bus today, and I saw someone who I know. I sat on the seat behind her, and she moved over in her seat so that the seat closest to the aisle was empty. Was this an invitation to sit next to her?


Yeah, it probably was.


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Krasher
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06 Oct 2009, 11:25 pm

True



Nightsun
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07 Oct 2009, 3:44 am

Yes it was.


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Greentea
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07 Oct 2009, 10:55 am

If you two had exchanged greetings, then absolutely. If not, NO.


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LifeOfTheSpectrum
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07 Oct 2009, 12:14 pm

If she looked and "smiled" at you, then yes.
If not, best not to avoid an awkward moment.


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NicksQuestions
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07 Oct 2009, 6:37 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
I was on the bus today, and I saw someone who I know. I sat on the seat behind her, and she moved over in her seat so that the seat closest to the aisle was empty. Was this an invitation to sit next to her?


If she moved over after you had already sat down and didn't try talking to you/invite you verbally, then I'd say it was because of her seat preference. If she moved over when you were approaching, it could have been a nonverbal "invitation". If she moved over when you were approaching, did she make eye contact with you longer than very brief and then made eye contact again after moving over (I'd think that would mean invitation), or did she not make eye contact and then moved over? Those are my thoughts.

Also, if she did it in a not so friendly nonverbal language way when you were walking over to find a place to sit, she may have thought a seat in her isle was one of the only ones open (not being able to sit in back of her). If that happened, then it may have been more of a sense of obligation rather than invitation.



Who_Am_I
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07 Oct 2009, 7:21 pm

She moved over after we'd greeted each other and I'd sat down, and she continued talking after that. I didn't notice if she made eye contact or smiled.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


NicksQuestions
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07 Oct 2009, 8:30 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
She moved over after we'd greeted each other and I'd sat down, and she continued talking after that. I didn't notice if she made eye contact or smiled.


When she moved to another seat while talking to you, did she move away from you or close the gap between you two? Was she checking out a window or did she still look at you when moving over?



Who_Am_I
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07 Oct 2009, 8:51 pm

NicksQuestions wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
She moved over after we'd greeted each other and I'd sat down, and she continued talking after that. I didn't notice if she made eye contact or smiled.


When she moved to another seat while talking to you, did she move away from you or close the gap between you two? Was she checking out a window or did she still look at you when moving over?


I was on the seat behind her, so her move made no difference to the distance between us. She still looked at me while moving over.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


pat2rome
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08 Oct 2009, 1:06 am

If you sat directly behind her, she probably moved just so she wouldn't have to turn all the way around to face you.


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Greentea
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08 Oct 2009, 1:56 am

Sounds like it's more than you "saw someone you know". It's an acquaintance, and it probably puzzled her that you didn't sit next to her. Her neck must've strained a bit too.


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Who_Am_I
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08 Oct 2009, 2:48 am

Greentea wrote:
Sounds like it's more than you "saw someone you know". It's an acquaintance, and it probably puzzled her that you didn't sit next to her. Her neck must've strained a bit too.


What's the difference between just "someone you know" and an acquaintance?

Another question: what do you do in situations like that when you aren't quite sure what what the other person did was meant to mean?


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Greentea
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08 Oct 2009, 3:09 am

Both excellent questions.

1. "Someone you know" is an expression often used to refer to acquaintances, even friends, when we wish to make an understatement for some reason. However, in its strict sense, it means someone whose face you recognize but have not had enough contact with as to warrant a mutual greeting. Eg: the grocer in your neighborhood you don't buy from, someone you've seen hanging with acquaintances of yours but never stood near or exchanged hellos, etc.

"Acquaintance" is someone you've talked to in the past, usually more than once, a bit or a lot, but aren't in a regular relationship with. You sort of naturally sit together if you meet, and converse.

2. As Aspies: nothing. We do the wrong thing and fail and miss opportunities. We mislead people to think we're not interested, or offend them, confuse them, alienate them, etc. That's what happened to you with that girl. We live with it. We suffer. We come to WrongPlanet and ask intelligent questions and think and learn for next time.

Next time you see her, if you like her, convey some body language message that you'd welcome getting a bit closer in your acquaintance with each other. Something like coming up with a smile to where she is standing, or moving to the free seat next to her at a class, etc.


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