being judged

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Has anybody else ever been judged for calling themselves an Aspie? The other night my two mentors lectured me about labeling myself as an aspie, which irritated me. They told me not to define myself by my difference. My feeling is that it IS such a big part of my life, and besides it is a whole lot simpler just to call myself an aspie! They've gone on about only using it in the AS community, but I still felt judged. Anybody else?

Yes, it's happened to me. Some family members still take issue with my referring to my AS, though since I'm 40+ I'm puzzled as to their reaction. I can't say that I feel particularly judged, however. I long ago decided to just do what I do, and the world will go on doing what it does, and so it goes. I can't figure other people out, and have no idea what is going on inside their heads, so I just let it be.

One aspie has given me trouble when I was 20 when I was using the term "aspie."

It might be a difference in how you see the term. When I started to learn real information about autism (as opposed to the common belief that autism=mental retardation,) it made me feel less different. It was like suddenly there were all these other people who had gone though the same things that I had. And not just in that way that people with personality disorders will make you think you have all these things in common, but actual experiences that were.. the same.
My mom gets a kick out of the name of this site, because she decided before I was even born that I must be an alien.
While people with AS are certainly not all exactly the same, there are so many similarities in a lot of things.. like you said, it's a good descriptor. Possibly not a politically correct one. That whole "don't define yourself by your differences" business is crap anyways. Of course people define themselves by their differences! Your differences are what make you you! How do they want you to define yourself, by the ways in which you manage to conform??
AS is also something that makes things so much harder BEFORE you realize that there's a reason for it, and that you're not just a failure freak, but actually do have differences. Not that it's not still hard, but the guilt and the blame and the not understanding.. all that just sucks. Better to define yourself by your differences than your failures.

probably best to self-refer as aspie only when in the presence of other aspies, and people close to you. Mentors (and others) are only interested in the differences you create for yourself: titles, talents and accomplishments. Stuff they can actually see (and make use of). I don't go around calling myself bipolar or manic-depressive for the same reason.

Also terms such as aspie tend to blur the lines between being and having. It's one thing to say you have Asperger's Syndrome, and quite another to say that you are an aspie. Although deeply intrinsically connected with who you are, you are not your condition.

"I have psychosis" generates more sympathy and creates less fear than "I am psychotic" etc.

But there is a trend towards seeking out aspies for their particular qualities towards perfoming certain tasks. Singular obsessive focus is not such a bad thing, and people who aren't overly social will spend more time getting the job done. Sooner or later aspie will be a badge of honor you can announce with pride.

Do these mentors refer to themselves as "Americans" or "people living in America"? Why not get rid of the term "woman"? It just defines people with two X chromosomes by their difference.

I can see what they're trying to do. They just want to encourage you to be you instead of being your label. It sounds like good intentions to me... well apart from the 'lecturing' part.

Also AS has many negative stereotypes. You may want to be careful with telling people unless you can explain yourself properly.

I have not been told that I can't call myself an aspie/autistic (noun), but then again I rarely do so IRL (I do use the adjective and have never been judged for this, although most people I know use circumferential language like "person with an autism spectrum disorder", argh!). I *have* been judged for even writing about myself as autistic on the Internet, but that's been done by people who don't believe/want my diagnosis, ie. my parents. They say my writing about my autism (or even about autism in general!) indicates that I am preoccupied with my problems.

Thus far, I have yet to experience a situation such as yours in regard to being lectured.
We may have two difference reasons for indicating AS. To me, it's a way to inform someone so they will have foreknowledge to possible variations to which they may not understand without knowing about the AS.

I have had plenty of experiences where as a result of not understanding why my views stemmed heavily on evidence and empirical, which easily can sound rather harsh. This is prior to me being aware of the whole AS fun.

Personally, I would inquire for an explanation to their reasons. First of all, you deserve to have this presented with more than not defining you by your differences.

Does one only describe themselves with similarities?
Regardless, you are the one who chooses such things. There is nothing wrong with others giving you feedback of course. It is possible another may have reasons that you agree with and until it was said, it didn't cross your mind -- something like that.