Seems your words go "in one ear and out the other"

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CleverKitten
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15 Nov 2009, 9:50 pm

When talking to some NTs?

For example, someone was telling me about her son's camping trip with his boy scout troup. (There were, like, 20-30 people camping!)
Then she asked me how many times I've been camping.
I said that I had been camping about five times, three of those times with large groups of people, and two of those times with only two other people.
Then she asked, "Do you like going camping?"
I said, "Yes, as long as it's only me and one or two other people. I had the most fun then. It was not fun at all when I camped with large groups of people. It's too distracting."
And then that person said, "Ahh." and got a wierd look on her face, and dropped the subject.

Like an hour later, she brought up the subject again, saying, "We should gather our families up and all go camping together sometime. You'll have so much fun!"
I didn't respond to this statement. I just changed the subject, because repeating what I had just said earlier would make her get all mad and stuff. :roll:

Now mind you, if those plans were actually carried out, there would be 15-25 people camping. What a nightmare!

She KNOWS I am Autistic, and she KNOWS what Autism is.

Did she not hear, or just plain out ignore what I just said?! :x


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glider18
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15 Nov 2009, 9:59 pm

I agree with what you are saying here---I get that a lot. I will be talking to someone and they don't seem to get it. I even get people who talk over top of me when I am talking. I mentioned something similar to this to my therapist, and he said it might have to do with my "Aspie" inflection of voice...and people might sense that I am finishing my talking rather than starting it. So they think I am done and start talking over top of me. This happens even when I am talking in a normal volume of voice. Even my wife often doesn't hear me/understand me.


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16 Nov 2009, 12:05 am

glider18 wrote:
I agree with what you are saying here---I get that a lot. I will be talking to someone and they don't seem to get it. I even get people who talk over top of me when I am talking. I mentioned something similar to this to my therapist, and he said it might have to do with my "Aspie" inflection of voice...and people might sense that I am finishing my talking rather than starting it. So they think I am done and start talking over top of me. This happens even when I am talking in a normal volume of voice. Even my wife often doesn't hear me/understand me.


Interesting. I wonder if this might be why I often get interrupted when I'm talking to someone. My usual response is to glare them into silence so I can continue ( :twisted: ). I also wonder if this could be why 3rd parties often feel entitled to interrupt a conversation I'm having with another person and just talk about something else as if the original conversation had finished or, more accurately, like I wasn't there. :x

And yes, I often feel as though people just cannot seem to remember anything I tell them. On several occassions I've told someone something about myself, not once, not twice, but three times, within a short time frame (say, a month or two), and they never remember it.

Then I read a statistic that said people tend to forget 80% of what they experience throughout the day. I don't know if that's accurate, but it would explain a lot.



Blindspot149
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16 Nov 2009, 12:31 am

In my case, I often just feel like telling the other person to email the information :jester:


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-9
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16 Nov 2009, 1:40 am

I often feel as if people can't hear me.



Zeek
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16 Nov 2009, 2:33 am

A lot of the time. I just keep my mouth shut but yeah it does get kind of annoying having people talking over me. I'm used to it though. I don't see why they do it to me though, they don't to other kids.



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16 Nov 2009, 4:13 am

That happens to me quite a lot, half the time when people talk i just either won't say anything for the rest of the conversation.
But like i don't think she even remembered what you had just said or possibly misunderstood what you had said. I would of just explained in full detail why i found it hard if she knew you had autism. I personally myself don't like repeating subjects but it did in the past got me in arguments.


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ToughDiamond
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16 Nov 2009, 5:41 am

Yes it happens t me a lot - people talk to me as if I'd never said things that I know I did say. :?

It's frustrating but I tend to even up the score when I blank out on people while they're talking to me :P



leejosepho
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16 Nov 2009, 7:05 am

I think some of those folks actually do at least "hear" what has been said, but they cannot make adjustments or add new or different considerations within their own thinking. Some people liked Woodstock, some of us prefer headphones ... and your camping coordination has yet to add headphones to her repertoire.


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superboyian
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18 Nov 2009, 5:50 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
Yes it happens t me a lot - people talk to me as if I'd never said things that I know I did say. :?

It's frustrating but I tend to even up the score when I blank out on people while they're talking to me :P


Thats technically kinda like what I do but I do it mostly when i'm in stupid arguments or in other words completely unnessesary or they don't wanna listen to my point of view. :x especially when I help them with something and they assume they don't need my help, thats what kinda annoys me because it seems like they aint really interested in my nerdy talk... do I speak to fast for them or something?


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18 Nov 2009, 6:20 pm

-9 wrote:
I often feel as if people can't hear me.


I can agree with that. I ask my dad something and he doesn't respond, he looks at my face for a minute then goes back to what he was doing, I asked if he heard and he get's mad and says "yes, just because I didn't answer you doesn't mean I didn't hear you".

Or my boss will ask how my weekend was and I tell him and after I'm done he pauses for about 5 minutes then spouts on about something about a job or his man cave. I really don't get it. :(


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19 Nov 2009, 2:19 pm

With me, it's like I'm invisible. I have explained myself at length to people and it all goes in one ear and out the other. This even applies to behaviors that have persisted for years. I have never been one for outings and large gatherings, and I have always refused when asked; yet STILL people act shocked and get angry when I don't show up for some social call they had in mind. They are still surprised when they ask if I want to go to my sister-in-law's for a BBQ and I say no.

It seems to me that either nobody believes that I have AS, or they are convinced that I can somehow magically be normal despite all of the social problems I've had since I was old enough to speak. They think I either am normal, or should be normal. They expect a pattern of "normal" behavior out of me, ignoring all evidence that this is not possible, and get angry and indignant when I fail to live up to their expectations. It's vexing.



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19 Nov 2009, 3:59 pm

I feel like this very often, especially in larger crowds or settings....! !!

Sometimes, it gets me frustrated. You'll be sitting there, in what is supposed to be a discussion, someone asks you a question, then while you are attempting to answer, they interrupt! It's nerve racking and rude. I don't know why they even bother asking me a question, when they know they will not allow me to answer.

For a long time, I thought, is it me or are they simply rude.

I dunno... :(



realitysandwich
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20 Nov 2009, 12:34 am

I could be way off base here but this could have been something totally different. And something I and I am guessing most of us here aren't so great with. But she could have been suggesting subtly that you all go camping together and was hurt when you seemed very adverse to what she considered a normal thing. Only then trying to bring it up later in a slightly more direct and hopefully positive light.

I have found that people tend to not understand the areas in which we aspies seem to just differ from what they consider to be the norm. Such as camping being generally more fun in a larger group, or what not...



CleverKitten
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20 Nov 2009, 9:58 am

Gahh! Subtle suggestions. She is the kind of person who would do that... well since then, I have immediately and directly shut down any possible plans of me going camping with a large group of people.

I'm trying to be very assertive and direct about exactly who/what I am. I don't know if it's working or not yet, though.


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CleverKitten
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20 Nov 2009, 10:00 am

asar wrote:
...You'll be sitting there, in what is supposed to be a discussion, someone asks you a question, then while you are attempting to answer, they interrupt! It's nerve racking and rude. I don't know why they even bother asking me a question, when they know they will not allow me to answer.

For a long time, I thought, is it me or are they simply rude.


People do that to me all the time! Sometimes, they will also ask a question, and then just walk away casually before I even get a chance to answer! WHY?!?!?!
What is the point of that?
It is just so frustrating!


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