22 Nov 2009, 12:47 am
22 Nov 2009, 12:58 am
22 Nov 2009, 1:00 am
22 Nov 2009, 1:42 am
Oregon wrote:
Birth control is not 100% effective.
I was going to mention that. 
Any young person contemplating not having children, or waiting to have them, needs to remember that the only 100% method is abstinence. If you're not going to abstain, then you need to always be prepared for the chance a child may come into the picture. My youngest brother and my husband were both "menopause babies." Their mothers thought they were too old, that they were starting the change, and -- wups! Another baby.
I wanted children from the time I was a child myself, loved babies even when I was four, played with my dolls until my teens -- took up sewing and later made some dolls -- very simple ones but any excuse to keep playing with dolls.
I started babysitting as soon as I was old enough, and was doting auntie to my first nephew when he was a baby. But later I was busy working, family moved away, and I never got to know my other nephews and niece very well, which I regret.
My husband didn't want children right away, we didn't have much money, and when we finally did try, I couldn't get pregnant. We couldn't afford fertility treatment and didn't want the stress on our marriage that might cause anyway, so we didn't pursue it.
Now I'm too old. Well past that at 53. But in the mean time my attitude has changed. I'm relieved now, that I don't have children, because I couldn't have taken early retirement if I had a child. I'd have kept working and wanted to put them through college if possible. You want to give your kids the best start in life that you can. Parenthood is a huge responsibility, and remains one for most parents well after their children reach 18. As it should.
I also have more wide-reaching reasons for being relieved that I didn't have children. It is a difficult world, though there's a lot of beauty and joy too. But sometimes the difficulties can be overwhelming. It's also a very CROWDED world, with nearly 7 billion of us now. If there weren't those of us who don't have children, it would be even more so by now. In order to keep the planet sustaining the human race, a certain number of people will need to choose not to reproduce. Otherwise future generations will have much more of a struggle than we do now. I don't want that for anyone's children, grandchildren, or any future children.
But the choice is up to you. It's your life. Don't let anyone pressure you into having children or not having them. It's not their business! I think it's RUDE of anyone to try to persuade another person one way or another regarding having children. I have at times seen it as sexist as well, since it's usually young women who get pestered to have children.
It's your life. You live it your way.
But I'm sure that if your mom's mistakes bothered you that much, you'd be a different mother than she. We do tend to remind ourselves of our parents when we get to a certain age, but that doesn't mean we are them.
I find it very rewarding to put my maternal energies into caring for my pets -- and my husband when he occasionally needs it.
22 Nov 2009, 7:27 am
22 Nov 2009, 7:36 am
22 Nov 2009, 8:08 am
StewartMango wrote:
I am tired of people telling me I have problem, because I DON'T want children!! !
I'll even give 20 reasons why I don't want them:
1. Birth.
2. Responsibility. All of life's prior responsibilities pale in comparison.
3. Diapers.
4. 3am wake ups. Caring for a child takes a lot of physical and emotional energy, made all the harder by babies that only sleep for ninety minutes at a time.
5. Hard on marriages. A baby takes so much time and attention that spouses must already have a great friendship and work well together before the baby arrives.
6. Advice. Total strangers leap forward to offer advice about how to raise your child. Most of the advice is contradictory and flat out wrong. Strangers will be much easier to ignore than your friends and family, many of whom have raised children quite successfully. Some advice you may want, but lots of it will be unsolicited and unappreciated.
7. Changed relationships. When your family expands by the addition of a child, your relationships with everyone, and I mean everyone, changes.
8. Free time. You will have none. Most time not spent with your child will be spent catching up on work you need to get done.
9. Worry. Parents always worry about their children, monitoring how fast they reach each milestone and how well they grow, eat, sleep, crawl, walk, read, make friends, and so on.
10. Money. Children are expensive in several ways.
11. Laundry. Children do not contribute to household chores until they are older, and even then they generate more work than labor.
12. Tantrums.
13. Rebellion.
14. Dissonance.
15. Pain. Your child will cry and you won't know why or how to fix it.
16. 6 billion people.
17. Failed expectations.
18. Lost freedom.
19. Hard work.
20. The unthinkable. The death of a child, while unlikely, is devastating.
I'll even give 20 reasons why I don't want them:
1. Birth.
2. Responsibility. All of life's prior responsibilities pale in comparison.
3. Diapers.
4. 3am wake ups. Caring for a child takes a lot of physical and emotional energy, made all the harder by babies that only sleep for ninety minutes at a time.
5. Hard on marriages. A baby takes so much time and attention that spouses must already have a great friendship and work well together before the baby arrives.
6. Advice. Total strangers leap forward to offer advice about how to raise your child. Most of the advice is contradictory and flat out wrong. Strangers will be much easier to ignore than your friends and family, many of whom have raised children quite successfully. Some advice you may want, but lots of it will be unsolicited and unappreciated.
7. Changed relationships. When your family expands by the addition of a child, your relationships with everyone, and I mean everyone, changes.
8. Free time. You will have none. Most time not spent with your child will be spent catching up on work you need to get done.
9. Worry. Parents always worry about their children, monitoring how fast they reach each milestone and how well they grow, eat, sleep, crawl, walk, read, make friends, and so on.
10. Money. Children are expensive in several ways.
11. Laundry. Children do not contribute to household chores until they are older, and even then they generate more work than labor.
12. Tantrums.
13. Rebellion.
14. Dissonance.
15. Pain. Your child will cry and you won't know why or how to fix it.
16. 6 billion people.
17. Failed expectations.
18. Lost freedom.
19. Hard work.
20. The unthinkable. The death of a child, while unlikely, is devastating.
Will you marry me?
22 Nov 2009, 8:10 am
Fiz wrote:
Wow, I totally agree with you StewartMango. Another reason not to have children though is the state the world is in today. It isn't the sort of place I want to bring children into personally.
Will you marry me too?
22 Nov 2009, 9:03 am
22 Nov 2009, 10:03 am
Locustman wrote:
StewartMango wrote:
I am tired of people telling me I have problem, because I DON'T want children!! !
I'll even give 20 reasons why I don't want them:
1. Birth.
2. Responsibility. All of life's prior responsibilities pale in comparison.
3. Diapers.
4. 3am wake ups. Caring for a child takes a lot of physical and emotional energy, made all the harder by babies that only sleep for ninety minutes at a time.
5. Hard on marriages. A baby takes so much time and attention that spouses must already have a great friendship and work well together before the baby arrives.
6. Advice. Total strangers leap forward to offer advice about how to raise your child. Most of the advice is contradictory and flat out wrong. Strangers will be much easier to ignore than your friends and family, many of whom have raised children quite successfully. Some advice you may want, but lots of it will be unsolicited and unappreciated.
7. Changed relationships. When your family expands by the addition of a child, your relationships with everyone, and I mean everyone, changes.
8. Free time. You will have none. Most time not spent with your child will be spent catching up on work you need to get done.
9. Worry. Parents always worry about their children, monitoring how fast they reach each milestone and how well they grow, eat, sleep, crawl, walk, read, make friends, and so on.
10. Money. Children are expensive in several ways.
11. Laundry. Children do not contribute to household chores until they are older, and even then they generate more work than labor.
12. Tantrums.
13. Rebellion.
14. Dissonance.
15. Pain. Your child will cry and you won't know why or how to fix it.
16. 6 billion people.
17. Failed expectations.
18. Lost freedom.
19. Hard work.
20. The unthinkable. The death of a child, while unlikely, is devastating.
I'll even give 20 reasons why I don't want them:
1. Birth.
2. Responsibility. All of life's prior responsibilities pale in comparison.
3. Diapers.
4. 3am wake ups. Caring for a child takes a lot of physical and emotional energy, made all the harder by babies that only sleep for ninety minutes at a time.
5. Hard on marriages. A baby takes so much time and attention that spouses must already have a great friendship and work well together before the baby arrives.
6. Advice. Total strangers leap forward to offer advice about how to raise your child. Most of the advice is contradictory and flat out wrong. Strangers will be much easier to ignore than your friends and family, many of whom have raised children quite successfully. Some advice you may want, but lots of it will be unsolicited and unappreciated.
7. Changed relationships. When your family expands by the addition of a child, your relationships with everyone, and I mean everyone, changes.
8. Free time. You will have none. Most time not spent with your child will be spent catching up on work you need to get done.
9. Worry. Parents always worry about their children, monitoring how fast they reach each milestone and how well they grow, eat, sleep, crawl, walk, read, make friends, and so on.
10. Money. Children are expensive in several ways.
11. Laundry. Children do not contribute to household chores until they are older, and even then they generate more work than labor.
12. Tantrums.
13. Rebellion.
14. Dissonance.
15. Pain. Your child will cry and you won't know why or how to fix it.
16. 6 billion people.
17. Failed expectations.
18. Lost freedom.
19. Hard work.
20. The unthinkable. The death of a child, while unlikely, is devastating.
Will you marry me?
Maybe
22 Nov 2009, 10:10 am
22 Nov 2009, 10:45 am
22 Nov 2009, 11:09 am
sartresue
Veteran
Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,313
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
22 Nov 2009, 11:40 am
22 Nov 2009, 12:01 pm
I have mixed thoughts about this one.
I feel I don't want to have any kids because I feel I don't think I'm the father material and plus I probably would of been like my dad who doesn't understand a thing about parenting.
But at the same, I feel like I want to make a big happy family with the girl of life But then if I wanted to have kids, the worrying thing is if she would hurt herself and the baby when she's having a meltdown 
Basically it would be difficult for me to answer that question.
22 Nov 2009, 12:18 pm
^A woman gave me that comment when I posted this on Facebook, so I tried to write 20 ways I can grow up, to mock her immaturity.
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