Anyone nervous about Thanksgiving get togethers?

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zeldapsychology
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24 Nov 2009, 2:07 pm

Sure as I stated in other topics I can go play my videogames but the whole sit at a table thing with family has got me nervous. Sure it's people I know but I could care less about my inlaws interest in fishing or hunting so the whole start a conversation and eating around people AHHHH!! !! ! (I'll just go sit on the rocker playing my videogames but the whole eating with family part!! !) Thanks WP!



sandra3
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24 Nov 2009, 3:08 pm

Not me, just going to a thanksgiving dinner at my church with my mom so it doesnt bother at all.



invisibitsy
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24 Nov 2009, 3:57 pm

Yes, I am nervous and wish I did not have to partake. But I am too considerate of my family's feelings to reject them.



Rose_in_Winter
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24 Nov 2009, 4:25 pm

Not at all. This is my family. They know and love me and accept me. I know I'll probably say something that will make my brother go, "ROSE! Don't say things like that!" (For example, telling my father I wanted to inherit a certain antique bookcase when he died; my poor brother nearly had a heart attack.) I know I'll say something in an attempt to be funny and people will either ignore it or give me weird looks. I know I won't understand a lot of their jokes, but on the other hand, they know I won't laugh and not let it bother them. I know they will tell me, "modulate your voice," or "you are talking too fast," or "I would like some quiet," or "let someone else get a word in edgewise," and they know I won't be offended (and will do as they ask). Although my diagnosis is recent, I've always had AS and they have learned to cope with me, and appreciate my good qualities.

What terrifies me is spending the week around Christmas with my in-laws. They absolutely do not know I have AS. I doubt most of them know what AS is and would behave differently around me if we told them. Plus, my mother-in-law...think Angela Petrelli (manitpulative, cold, self-centered, bitchy) from "Heroes" and multiply the b***h factor by 10, and there you have my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is the stereotypical single mother of an only son. My husband is apparently the Second Coming and I am the evil Devil Girl who stole him. I really dread having to spend any time with her; 7 days is 3 over my stated mother-in-law limit, but she lives far away and my husband feels we ought to visit her regularly.



zeldapsychology
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24 Nov 2009, 5:11 pm

Rose_in_Winter wrote:
Not at all. This is my family. They know and love me and accept me. I know I'll probably say something that will make my brother go, "ROSE! Don't say things like that!" (For example, telling my father I wanted to inherit a certain antique bookcase when he died; my poor brother nearly had a heart attack.) I know I'll say something in an attempt to be funny and people will either ignore it or give me weird looks. I know I won't understand a lot of their jokes, but on the other hand, they know I won't laugh and not let it bother them. I know they will tell me, "modulate your voice," or "you are talking too fast," or "I would like some quiet," or "let someone else get a word in edgewise," and they know I won't be offended (and will do as they ask). Although my diagnosis is recent, I've always had AS and they have learned to cope with me, and appreciate my good qualities.

What terrifies me is spending the week around Christmas with my in-laws. They absolutely do not know I have AS. I doubt most of them know what AS is and would behave differently around me if we told them. Plus, my mother-in-law...think Angela Petrelli (manitpulative, cold, self-centered, bitchy) from "Heroes" and multiply the b***h factor by 10, and there you have my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is the stereotypical single mother of an only son. My husband is apparently the Second Coming and I am the evil Devil Girl who stole him. I really dread having to spend any time with her; 7 days is 3 over my stated mother-in-law limit, but she lives far away and my husband feels we ought to visit her regularly.





Wow Rose you really understand your AS and are not upset with your traits. I'm still coming to terms and when I do some of the things mention (loud voice,saying wrong thing) as you've done I'm at the state in life I feel bad about doing it. Maybe over time I can understand my traits of AS better and understand that it's more about me being me and not being upset over my traits. Thanks Rose!! !!



kingtut3
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24 Nov 2009, 5:27 pm

I'm nervous because there will be people this year whom I haven't met.



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24 Nov 2009, 5:35 pm

Not nervious, just annoyed because it's a stupid ritual that involves eating too much and too many people.


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EnglishInvader
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24 Nov 2009, 5:36 pm

When I'm in that sort of environment, I'm more interested in the food than the talking.



DarkAngel
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24 Nov 2009, 5:39 pm

I'm With Audiophile on This One.



gramirez
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24 Nov 2009, 6:01 pm

Audiophile wrote:
Not nervious, just annoyed because it's a stupid ritual that involves eating too much and too many people.

This.

I'm seriously considering not participating this year.


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24 Nov 2009, 6:17 pm

No. If I do go to my sister in laws with my husband. I will just grab the laptop and take it with. I'll try and remembe to bring ear plugs too. I had a sensory overload two years ago when they all got loud and then they settled down.



david_42
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24 Nov 2009, 6:31 pm

Was never a big deal, but not going at all is so much better.



PaganMom
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24 Nov 2009, 7:20 pm

I'm not nervous, I'm just dreading it. I have absolutely holiday spirit this year and Thanksgiving is at my house as usual. This means I'm cooking everything and everybody is coming here. Everybody that is, except my oldest son and his gf, because she's pregnat and my younger son has chicken pox, so thats not a chance we are willing to take. My mother is staying at her house across the road, and they are going there and I'll drop off a plate for each. My mother in law is coming here, oh joy joy, I'll be criticized for the entire time until I just tell her off in front of everybody then I'll say I have a headache and go lay down. My daughter's bf is coming, and they are going to two other dinners with his family. Some of the kids friends will be dropping by as usual every year because I usually really put on a spread there, with after dinner plates of snacks and desserts put out. But this year, I won't be making all that much, so they can just hang out with their friends. At least the kids who have had chicken pox will, because those who haven't had it won't be allowed in the house.

I really don't want to do Thanksgiving this year, and I told my husband to see if they could go to his mothers instead, but he said no he wanted to do Thanksgiving at home and if I wouldn't cook it then he would, and nobody wants that. So that was his little way of being a a**hole and now I'm stuck with this. If it was just me and him I would say fine, you do it, but I'm doing this for the kids.

It'll be over soon.

PaganMom



Eggman
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24 Nov 2009, 7:35 pm

nervouse=no
dreading=yes


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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24 Nov 2009, 7:54 pm

I only have TG day dinner with a few really close relatives and that's it. Every once in a while, the extended family decides on a whim, they want to get together before or after Thanksgiving, but, I never go.
My family had Thanksgiving one way when I was growing up, and then changed it one year because, the family member who used to host it decided she didn't want to anymore, and wanted to spend TG day at her local senior's center instead. She told us not to bother showing up at her house any more for Thanksgiving since she didn't want to go to the trouble of making the dinner or cleaning up the house.
They are way too arbitrary to me, not that I liked going to her house as a kid, anyway. One of my relatives was so dependent on going to her house every year, she had a hard time dealing with not going and made surprise visits on TG every once in a while. She was under the impression the reason we weren't invited was because the relative didn't want to cook the meal, I thought it was because the relative was sick of seeing us every year. I was even more emphatic about not wanting to go when I thought the relative wanted us to get lost.

To me, it was just more of their confusing bs, so it was no bother for me to skip the whole thing and stay away.



asar
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25 Nov 2009, 10:03 am

Yep and it stinks. Completely wish it was over............ :eew: