Declaring War on Bullies

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Yeah, "killing 'em with kindness" works better when he gets older, since by that point, most folks have "matured" to the point where they're not being direct douchebags; rather they're doing it deceptively.

When ya "kill 'em with kindness" at that point, that backs 'em into a corner a tad, and they usually realize you're sort of on to 'em.

Younger, they don't really understand it. And that goes for both the bullies and the ones being bullied.

assuming the guy is NT, he might've also perceived it as somewhat creepy and stalker-like, regardless of your intentions.

Do NT types get picked on? I guess I figured anyone picked on would have to be different.

but if he was NT, maybe he was freaked out by someone defending him, who knows.

Like a beaten wife who will defend her husband if someone tries to stop him from hurting her. Why cops hate domestic disputes, or so I have read.

Hey I was accidentally kind to someone at work today, as an update, one of my bullies in fact. Offered her one of my Starbucks 'Via' packets to make a coffee since she said she was tired, and she looked so astonished that I just offered it. I wasn't being fake about it either like trying to get in good with someone, I just offered it without thinking because they do work to wake you up. Maybe there is something to that kindness thing! If it's genuine, it might work.

Well, D. has been suspended from school for today and tomorrow for fighting back. He has to take responsibility for his part in it. When the assistant principal called me at work she said he was so upset he couldn't communicate well enough for her to understand his side of the story and that he was in her office rocking back and forth. We had just had a discussion about when it was appropriate to react and when to ignore. When I picked him up I asked him what happened. He said there was a kid, also described as disabled by the asst. principal, who other kids encourage to hit my son. He says it has happened several times. So when they started encouraging this kid to hit my son, my son said back off. The instigator called my son a name,he retaliated,the guy shoved my son,son shoved back, then the punching began. D. said the other kid threw the first punch. The point is I think that D. is past the point of being able to deal with this anymore. I suspect the kids try to provoke D. because when he loses it he cries and growls. The asst. principal said there was no supervision because this happened outside the school before the doors opened. As I said earlier, she said my son was unable to tell her what had happened because he was too upset. Then when I picked him up she said she would send me an official letter telling me what he did. I imagine she got a polished account from the other kid. D. is not capable of coming up with an elaborate lie when he is so upset he can barely speak at all. Anyway it was said that D. was picking on this other kid (disabled)but he said someone grabbed the kids hat off and threw it at him and he threw it on the ground. Anyway you look at it no adults were present. Whew! I've been telling D. to do as the school says and report bullying. Now at this point I want names. I'm afraid he's been branded and he has a choice of being ostracized or bullied. The saddest thing is he wants friends. He has no idea why someone he never met would come up, call him a ret*d and shove him into the lockers. So my aunt and uncle are visiting my mother for the holidays and were planning a day trip so I took him over there. They called later and said he had a severe headache and he was vomiting. I think it's stress.Something's got to give.

Well, fighting equals suspension and D. was fighting. I don't mind his suspension if it wakes them up. I'm going to have a meeting regarding this. The thing is I know their line will be D. needs to learn to handle being teased like any other kid. They don't understand that he can't. I'm beginning to wonder if mainstreaming is worth it. D. was in a preschool program for developmentally delayed kids and when he was ready for kindergarten I attended a meeting regarding his placement. I remember one of them referred to mainstreaming him as " sending him out to the wolves", but he was mostly non verbal then at 5. He didn't really start communicating until that summer and then very sporadically. He was put on Risperdal and that allayed his anxiety and sensory issues enough that it was decided he could handle being mainstreamed. I think there's still a problem with the wolves, there's just a slower build up to the meltdown.

of course he wants friends...he's at that age; what's even sadder is they won't come 'til later in life. And some time later, he might even realize that a social life isn't all it's cracked up to be.

At that age, it's publicized to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhSTjeDnU2w[/youtube]

I just got a recorded message from the school that D. had an "unexcused absence".

D. talked to some neighborhood kids who told him he has a reputation as "the craziest kid in school" for taking on an eighth grader. lol That might work to his advantage.

Irrelevant contribution...sorry