Anyone hope to have an aspie child?

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In principle, wishing for your child to have Autistic traits is no different to wishing for your child to become a doctor or join the armed forces. Parental love should be unconditional and if you can't love a child for who he/she is, rather than what you want him/her to be, you shouldn't be a parent.

Who here is saying that parental love should be conditional? Who here is saying that they won't love their child for who s/he is?

Hmm, I'd have to agree with this. Boy, girl, Aspie, NT. What does it matter if you love your child? Of course we all have preferences. But they're best kept to ourselves. Every child deserves to be loved for him or her self, as a unique individual. Wishing for one or the other, that seems like setting too much store by "what" you get rather than being happy with "who" you get.

Children come here for themselves, not for their parents. (Just my opinion.)

Yes. And it is also no different than an NT parent wishing for an NT child. If it is Evil for NT parents to want a child who shares their neurology at least to some extent so that they can relate to their child better, then the same principle should apply to everybody. If it is perfectly ok for posters here to hope for a child who shares their neurology, then it should be just as ok for anyone else to have the same wish. And if it's not morally ok for NTs to have that hope, it shouldn't be morally ok for anyone to.

If you want your child to be either Autistic or NT, you're putting a social valuation on him/her from the outset. A child is not a label.

It matters little to me. ASD or no, it will be very difficult for me to relate to any eventual children I'll have. Even if I end up with a child with an ASD, a child with much of the same problems I have, it will still be an entirely different person with a different personality and desires.

I'd have to teach it how to survive in a world I struggle in, put it's needs before my own and avoid alienating it because I preffer to be on my own.

Those are the basic things I will have to worry about if I find myself raising a child, and they're not affected by the child having an ASD or some other disorder.

I wam watching my baby like a hawk as she reaches a diagnosable age. She's definitely boarderline and that is fine with me, but whether she ticks the right boxes to get a diagnoses is anyones guess yet.

I don't mind whether she is diagnosed or not, I just hope that we have some stuff in common as she grows, like I do with my dad. That would be nice. Having a lil girl that wants me to go shoe shopping with her? THat will be pretty hard if she is taht way inclined... ><

That's not exactly something I would hope or wish for. I almost definitely have AS, and I've struggled quite a bit in many areas of life as a result. I really wouldn't wish that on anyone.
All the same, I almost definitely have AS, and my boyfriend S is almost definitely BAP. I do want children, and I know S does as well. We both agree that we want two children. If that comes to pass some day, I'd say the odds are that at least one of the children would be on the spectrum, and it's quite possible both would be. I'm not going to let that deter me from having children. I still want to have a family of my own some day. There are always risks in having children, regardless of the neurology of the parents. I am willing to take the risk. Between my own probable AS, and my credentials in Special Education, I think I'm probably better equipped for raising a child on the spectrum than an Average Jane NT mother would. S has some definite aspie traits of his own. He's also highly educated, and extremely intelligent in addition to being very playful, affectionate, sweet, and consistently supportive. He would make a good father to any child, NT or otherwise.
Regardless of the neurological wiring any future children of ours might have, we would do everything in our power to make sure those children had the best possible opportunities in life.

Incorrect!
By wanting my child to be similar to myself, I am just wanting to easily relate to my child.
That does not put a higher or a lower "value" upon that child.

Same thing as an Apple is not neccesarily more or less valuable than an Orange.

"I want my fruit to be an apple!"
"I want my fuit to be an orange!"
"Food love should be unconditional and if you can't enjoy a fruit for what it is, rather than what you want it to be, you shouldn't be eating. If you want your fruit to be either an Apple or an Orange, you're putting a culinary valuation on it from the outset. A fruit is not a label. "

See how silly that sounds?

It does not mean I will love it more or less, depending on how it comes out.




Correct! A child is a child. Labels may be put on a child, however. For example, "cute" is a label that is put on many children. But a child is not a "cute."

But you still did not answer my original question. In fact, you seemed to avoid it. I will post it again for you, with clarification that this is not a rhetorical question.

it would be like stabbing my heart with a rusty knife
so I won't have kids

I love you Kilroy. I'm so glad to see you here posting again. Your posts make me laugh.

oh i was serious
my bitterness for others "like me" has not salted
and I return...
well i don't know why

but its not to make friends

I like your anti aspie posts.

i could start a website

I have children on the spectrum, and I do not relate to them any more than I'd relate to a NT child. In fact, I believe that them being on the spectrum makes parenting more difficult. I have to interact with the school far more, and be a strong advocate, even when I'm overwhelmed.

My oldest child has Aspergers. While I understand a lot of what he goes through, I find some of his issues frustrating, even though I have the same ones.

My daughter has Rett Syndrome. It is the most severe disorder on the spectrum. I love her very very much. She's my angel, but she needs a lot of care.

My youngest is being evaluated for PDD-NOS.

I love my children, NT, AS, no matter what. I just know that having children on the spectrum is very difficult.

You do have a point, here.