Do people hate me?

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When I feel that I did something wrong, like not working properly at work, I tend to avoid colleagues' glances and fail to say hi when I meet them.

There is a recent rumor going that involving me. I can't say hi or interact properly with acquaintance's or friends. It makes me nervous that somewhere in their mind they are suspicious of me.

I feel that whenever I have a low opinion of myself, I think other people hate me. I want to disappear.

This drives me nuts because I have trouble going about work and interact with people. What's worse, sometimes I find out that they don't.

I know the feeling. Try to say hello and act a bit more friendly though-don't let on that the rumour is getting to you.

I struggle heavily with these kinds of things. I tend to think that no one likes me or ever will, which my wife insists is mostly in my head. So a couple ideas: 1) Don't worry about it so much. They may not hate us or think about us as much as we think they do, they got their own problems why would they be so fixated on us? On the other hand, suppose even if they don't like us, then good. I think the comedian Katt Williams had a joke going something like this: "If you've already got 10 haters then go get you 5 more." Unless you've done something totally as*hole that is then f**k them, they can hate us as much as they want we will only grow stronger. 2) There is nothing wrong with intuitively trying to learn body language and practice reading it and using it. A lot of NT's may not be all that up on it either.
I'm far from perfect on this issue myself but these things help me.

There are a lot of resources out there on body language, on the internet and in books.

I'd agree with that. One of my friends gave me some good advice about interaction - he said "don't worry too much about what people think about how you are coming across.... they are too absorbed in themselves to care"

I tend to think that little things I've done are apocalyptic errors, but often it's not such a big thing... everyone makes mistakes, it's just that some people have the confidence to shrug them off.

But that can be hard to do for us. Aspies tend to get hung up on mistakes, and be very self-critical. I went through many years of paranoia about what other people thought about me, and sometimes it was a vicious circle.... because I thought negatively, I behaved negatively, and provoked negative responses, even when it might have been ok in the first place.

Sometimes events from the past create thought patterns that are hard to break. I got bullied a lot at school, so I've sometimes found it hard to trust people as an adult, or believe that some people are truly good-natured. Time can be a great healer though, and there's things like Cognitive Behaviour Therapy that can help change harmful thought patterns.

I agree that it's easier said than done.

I strongly doubt that anyone actually hates you, but in my experience being overly quiet and not interacting much tends to offend certain types of people, and some bad will can spread from that. It might help just to push yourself to interact more regardless of whether you get it "right" or not, because not interacting at all in the work place can do more damage than making the occasional social blunder.

Just do your best. People will talk no matter what you do or not do. We all have good and bad days( mine was so-so).
Keep calm and cool.

They do not hate you, they will talk to deflect their own guilt.

Those pointing the finger should be closely watched, they are up to something.

I find that being friendly works the same as holding a puppy in your lap. It wanted to get in your lap, but then it wanted to leave, hold it just a while longer, pet it, talk nice, and it will never get in your lap again.

None of the other people know what they are doing, or think about it, they are running on automatic, so give just a bit more, make them think once, and they will avoid you.

Yeah, I always feel that way too. If you can't look people in the eye or say hello they do start to look at you with suspicion, but I've found if you just slap a fake smile on your face and say hi, they will respond in kind. At first they might still look at you crazy, but after a while they'll think 'Hey why was I such an as*hole? She's nice.'

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

edit: I used to know this guy that was a little crazy and outspoken but he always had such a clear look in his eyes. One day I told him that he looked so innocent and he emphatically replied: ' I am. What did I do? Nothing, I'm innocent.' ------ I don't know why, but that always seemed really profound to me.

Lab Pet struggles with that too - phantom guilt? Oh, that and the mindblind thingy so I truly do not know what they're possibly thinking.

Funny anecdote, FaithHopeCheese! Sort-of reminds me when, in previous lab, my lab buddy and I were distilling acid under the hood. But there were still the inevitable acid fumes. He said, "Just think happy thoughts, it'll go away." No, increase the Hz in the hood.

To get over that feeling of "everyone hates me", you have to really observe and see that feeling for what it actually is. Don't just try to ignore that feeling. The feeling of hate is real, even though it is actually fear, and that fear is not coming from them, it's coming from *you*.

I have found that thinking through fears dissolves them away. Afraid people are telling rumors about you? So what? People tell spread rumors about everyone else all the time, it doesn't mean anyone hates anyone else. Afraid people hate you? Don't fight it, just accept it as a possibility. Once the fear is gone, you start to realize how irrational it was.

Yeah, I'd agree with that. And fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in social situations. People pick up on it, and then react to it, and it becomes a vicious circle.

This is true. When I was in my early twenties my sister said that the way I acted made people think there was something wrong with me.....

It's one of my greatest fears, and I often felt that way when i was younger. I still tend to get overly defensive.

In answer to your question, I sincerely doubt it. I know when i felt this way it was very entrapping and difficult to shake off. I find it helps me to tell my fears and concerns to someone I can trust not to get annoyed by it, and give me positive feedback.

i think Inventor says it well.

I also know in my life that i have indeed been "hated" for my asd style of relating. It is better in the second half of my life than the first.
But as we grow in life, and learn more about who and what we are, we tend to be able to weather these storms and we can develop a good sense of self and a self-esteem that is not dependent on external trappings or opinions or views.

good luck on the journey.
and maybe just be aware that not everyone is nice and understanding, but there ARE good people everywhere.