Do I have autism?

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I suffer from SPD, Sensory processing disorder, and have been pretty much all my life. In case you don't know what that is (because many people don't) its a disorder regarding the five senses and the brain not being able to process them properly. Its 'over sensitivty' to touch, basically. As a result, I already have odd behavior on my side. This includes:

-I can't touch paper.
-I can't touch flour, leaves, tiles, or any other dry object.
-I can't touch stiff fabric.

The reason I can't touch them because it HURTS like hell; so I have methods of steering clear of objects (such as adapting myself to write specially in regards to paper) But, I have a lot of behaviour that cannot be explained by SPD? I was wondering, if I wrote them here, whether anyone can help me as to whether or not this might be autism? My therapist already brought up the subject, but... I'm scared to go back to therapy.

Behavior:

-Circles with dots scare me.
-Lots of circles scare me.
-Spots scare me.
-Honeycomb patterns scare me.
-I like to stack things up neatly, and if they are not neat, I straighten them.
-Rust scares me.
-Jumbled patterns scare me.
-Pixals scare me.
-People eating around me makes me want to run away- and the sound actually makes me want to be sick, no matter how quiet. And I can never block out the sound, because if I SEE a person eating, I also want to run.
-Groups scare me.
-I can't eat many things- Juice with pulp, brocolli (because the pattern scares me), most soup, fish, ANYTHING from the sea, rice where the grains are really small (because of the look AGAIN) and more.
-I have to sleep at 'whole times'; at either 0, 15, 30, or 45 past.
-I have this need to think DEEPLY about things- but I can never say the thoughts out loud...
-I can't stand having spots, and I usually go to extreme lengths to get rid of them (AKA, I use toothpicks, which results in bleeding and infection)

This are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head...

... I'd really love some help as to where this behaviour comes from.

Thanks in advance! Catto x

How do you do in social situations?

Do any of your behaviors vary from SPD? From what you described it seems like you just have SPD (which seems to share symptoms with autism).

One to one, I am fine. With new people, surprisingly, I am perfectly alright. But, within groups, I can't stand it; I usually find excuses to not hang out with my group of friends at lunch (which results in me spending hours alone, sadly) and I DON'T attend parties. At all.

I am probably going to sound freaky and stupid now, but I only really like to talk and hold conversation with people if I can read them; I like people being predictable. I love knowing what is happening. I hate people who are spontanious, dispite being spontanious myself.

...Which is why (and this is the stupid and terrible bit, and I feel like a bad person for this) I can't be around peope with a disability. My friend, who has Aspergers, scares me to be around, because it feels like I can't 'read' her. Any person I KNOW has a mental disability scares me, because its like a giant blank space... and I am frightened they'll do something, and I won't know what they are doing; and not knowing what is happening really upsets me in any situation. Annnd I feel like an idiot now. Its very hard to explain, but I tried. ;;

And as for my SPD, me and my therapist have never discussed anything apart from the 'touch' aspect of it, but she was the one who mentioned autism at some stage or another. I was too scared to continue with her and question as to what that means, and so I continued along the branch of just trying to make my SPD a bit better. I wouldn't really know what comes from it or what doesn't, sorry. ;;

Thank you for your reply, I would love to answer any further questions you have!

Much love, Catto x

I don't know this for sure.....I'm not in any way a clinician....

But it seems as far as visual processing goes, you have this aversion to unpredictable/complex patterns? The honeycomb maybe doesn't fit, but it is still rather complex. Perhaps it is too overwhelming for you to visually process these things?

As far as people eating and groups, it still sounds like a sensory issue:

I can't say whether or not you have autism. You can see sensory issues with AS and Autism, but I don't feel comfortable saying whether or not you have it. Sorry I couldn't help.

It sounds like you have a lot of autistic traits, but these may be caused by your SPD. You should try finding a psychiatrist who specializes in autism.

I sort of had a similar situation as yours and spent a lot of years contemplating whether I was on the autism spectrum or whether I had simply social anxiety. It can be difficult knowing for sure because a lot of disorders share traits with autism. Here's a quiz that may be helpful to you:
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

As far as online quizzes go this one's pretty good. But I would definitely suggest seeing someone who specializes in autism so you can know for sure.

Pretty much. It kind of hurts to look at, specifially if it involves circles in some way; for example, fish eggs (random example) make me sick, however I can look at a pattern of squares and feel nothing. Ah yes, I am not sure where honeycombs come into this, but they really freak me out. Pixels, too. Anything pixalated, or 'noise', gets a similar response from me. I would like to think that this has something to do with SPD, because it would be easier so fix. I haven't looked at the visual branch yet, and neither has my therapist. Thank you for your help, regardless! <3



Argh, this quiz really hit home on some things.

I tend to 'growl' when angry, frustrated, or even when I am alone. I get disracted extremely easily, and then I cannot start new things when I have been disracted. My friends tell me I make odd shapes with my faces; and I NEVER remember to pass on phone messages, and I get told off a lot by my mother because of it. I have a habit of fiddling, or rubbing my hands together (but thats probably SPD related ) I walk on my tip toes sometimes (I was doing that today!) I have a harsh and blunt sense of humour... and I ALWAYS feel like no-one else will understand my thoughts when I say them outloud.

Thank you for this quiz link; I can relate with a LOT of it. In fact, some of the questions surprised me entirely; things like 'Have you have had long-lasting urges to take revenge?' and 'Do you enjoy mimicking animal sounds?' and 'Do you get very tired after socializing, and need to regenerate alone?' I answered yes to these narutally.

Thank you again for the help, guys! This community is really clearing things up for me, I just want to get everything sorted. I'll be happy to answer anything else!

Much love, Catto x

EDIT: I remembered anohter thing; the thing about 'eating the same thing' is something I do; my record was eating toast for dinner 3 weeks in a row. And I still do it; I go days just eating the same thing, and wearing the same clothes. And... as embarrasing as it is to admit, the normal hygiene standards really DOES seem too strict for me.

I've never been diagnosed with neither AS nor SPD. I have the suspicion that I might have AS, but I need to be tested before I'm convinced. However, I can relate to what you are saying in the quote. I've been currently eating nothing but baked potatoes for the last two weeks....I'll throw a piece of bread in there once in a while, but that's all I want....everything else makes me feel kind of sick even thinking about eating.

Take care.

I couldn't tell you

You're scared of a lot of things! It could be related to stress. Mental disorders usually becomes worse when you're under stress. No offence, but it sounds a bit like you're trying to make yourself fit the autism term rather than to see if the autism term fits you.

Were you born with "people skills"? You do manage to comunicate well with people one on one. Was that innate or learned? And again, don't try to fit into the diagnosis. See if it fits instead!

Have anything particularly stressful recently happened to you that could have made the sensory issues worse?
Have these things always been issues?
Do you have obsessive interests? Could you do repetetive tasks that you liked for hours when you were a kid and still can?

I think it might be related to stress! Just reading your post made me kinda anxious.

I can see that you have a deep need for control and order. The world needs to conform to you. I am no expert, but I would guess that you either have OCD tendencies or suffer from stress. I don't really see these things as autism signs. Possibly related, but not autism.

Finally.. Go see a doctor now! Or you'll end up misdiagnosing yourself.

Can't speak to the possibility of an ASD here, but Catto, you seem to have social skills that I can only imagine. I have AS with SPD (and synesthesia). Everything from the color and texture of clothing to the lack of anything on my walls is a result of the SPD.

My neurologists have me on a med called clonazepam, in part to deal with the SPD (to "take the edge off" as the AS specialist I saw puts it) and also to deal with the seizures I still have from time to time. It does help.

Equally important is making sure that my environment is not challenging to my senses. I have noise-reduction headphones, blackout shades on my windows, and other features in my home to deal with this. And I have very dark sunglasses for when I go out during daylight hours.

In many cases the mere odor of a person, or the sound of their voice, is enough to drive me away. Noises of eating (particularly crunchy foods) are also irritating, as are telephone's ringing (my phone is set up to give me a visual cue, with the ring muted).

There's a lot you can do to manage SPD, though what works for me may not help you at all. I hope it at least gets you thinking about the actions you can take.

No offense taken. XD

I actually don't know what Autism/Apsies is; I just joined this community to learn about it and see of other SPD sufferers were here. All I know that it is a learning difficulty of some sort. I don't really understand what Wikipedia tells me. And it was my psychiatrist who heard these problems I listed here and told me about it, not me.

And by 'scared', I mean I can't look at them; they all make me sick.

I have people skills with one to one people. No, I didn't learn them, I've always been the sort of happy-go-lucky person who loves to be really loud in classes. Just not when there are a load of people; I don't know, I just get nervous and want to hide away. I don't want people looking at me, and I have issues with not being known. Invisible is fine with me; except, as I just said, I am loud, and I can't help it when I am with one or two people.

And not really; I live an easy life, APART from SPD. That makes my life hard. And about obsession interests; if you can't tell, I have an obsession with tigers. Ever since I was little, I've collected tiger books, I used to act like a tiger and refuse to eat with my hands until a certain age, and even now I demand my mother buy me tiger-print clothing. When I go to tiger enclosures at zoos, I cry. I talk about tigers on end, have reserched every aspect with them, and I used to love to 'play tiger' until I grew up. But even now, everyone in college calls me 'Miss tiger', and I can talk about them for ages. I am not sure why.

Recently, I've developed an obsession with this building; its called Sears tower (Willis tower). I asked my mother if I could go to america JUST to see it. I really love it, as in REALLY, I was ranting about it to my friends, who of course didn't care. Its just a building, after all. A random one at that.
And as an artist, I can draw for hours on end; just not the same picture. I get bored VERY easily, and switch to another picture, then another... it happens with writing too.

XD I don't really get depression or stress; I ONLY get stressed when SPD bundles too many things on top of me.

I was told you can't have SPD without having autism; it made me curious, seeing as it is in the same spectrum. I see a psychiatrist a lot, and she mentioned being screened for autistic behaviour, but I have no clue as to what that could be/involve.

Thank you for your questions; I'd be glad to have more! (:




Good afternoon! I am happy to see another person who feels the same as me.

I can relate to what you said; and I HOPE it is all SPD related. The fact that it could be anything else is whats making me upset.

I'm not sure of these seizures you speak of; but I have these kind of 'freak outs' which result in me crying, running, panicing, or screaming when SPD gets too hard. I haven't thought of safeproofing my enviroment; my house is safe, I make sure of that, but outside is tough. I wear thick gloves and safe-clothing for my body.

Thank you for your suggestions!

Much love, Catoo x

You can have SPD without autism in fact majority of people with Autism do not have a diagnosis of SPD and the majority of people with SPD do not have Autism, so whoever you are hearing this from is rather false. thing that

I have SPD & Autistic Disorder, life is rather difficult at times it really depends because certain things can be linked with SPD (like certain sensory issues, but my social skills are horrendous.. while do better one-on-one if I know the person a lot, where I have to have at least e-mailed them or talked to them via messenger before I actually bring myself to hang out with them. Idk, I'm envious that you are a happy-go-lucky-person. and that you do have some social skills, that is helpful.

Everyything that I have read about you from this thread it sounds like most of it is SPD and OCD, not Autism. But I suggest you find someone who specializes in Autism, and probably SPD as well. Regardless, I don't think you are autistic if I were to "give an opinion." cause i can't diagnose you, I do not have a degree in this. You need to talk to somenoe who is a professional to get an accurate diagnosis.

Thank you for your view, too! Yes, I see a lot of people want these apparent skills; I am not going to lie, I am very good with people once I know them, and I have great friends. I don't suffer socially unless we are in a group. I even meet stangers a lot. I am grateful to have the ability to do this... sorry to everyone for sounding to arrogant or whatever (if I did in my earlier posts!).


ITs ok; I love to hear EVERYONES thoughts on this!

Much love, Catto x

PS:

I'd like to put to EVERYONE, unlike most of the attention seeking whores in school, that I actually don't WANT autism; who would!? ... No offense, of course, I don't mean to offend any autistic people here. ;; I just want confirmation of ANYTHING; maybe I just think differently because I am artistic or whatever.

I don't want attention or pity or whatever, I just want everything GONE. I just want to be normal, kinda'. ;; Aaaand now I sound stupid, fml. Sorry, again. ;;

It's okay to want answers, and I think many people think differently. SPD can be very difficult, but it's good that you are good at social situations. I think you just are too worried about this kind of thing, and being artistic is good too.

But yeah, I really doubt you are Autistic or AS for that matter.

Yet again, thank you for your views. (:

The waiting list in my country is EXTREMELY long in my country, so I wont be seeing any one anytime soon. But I now see its probably just hypersensitivity to the other senses under the SPD umbrella that I didn't consider before. I was noly diagnosed with the touching branch of it, due to the fact it is the one that bothers me the most. Won't know till I see someone about it though!

Catto,

Just out of curiousity, what country are you in?

I am certainly no expert, etc... I may be missing something, etc....

You sound like you definitely DO have SPD, and that IS common in Autism(kanners) and AS, but you sound a bit too comfortable to have AS or kanners.

Then again, I obviously had SPD. TODAY, outside of sound, light, and SOME feeling, you would never know. But I have always been less social.