People Doubting you have Aspergers

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Did you put in the right year you were born? It says you're seven.

I cannot hold down a job unless it is sales from art or self-employment on some kind of part-time basis. (there is no way i can contend with the frequency and intensity of social exchange that is part of a workplace.)
I also have severe sensory issues, although the ensuing heightened fight or flight meltdown outbursts from these have lessened since my dx and since i have been given strategies to deal with them. (amazing what earplugs can do. I wish I had been given earmuffs as a baby----- my life may have been VERY different!)

I have a very typical and classic undiagnosed oppositionally defiant aspie history. But it is probably more often seen in rebellious apsie boys than in girls. I am female.

and yet, there has been skepticism amongst some regarding my dx. But, my sisters and my mother and those who know me well, KNOW i am typically aspie with routined and repetitive lifestyle, most time spent at home, minimal social contact and when i do, i usually retreat after a little while due to tiredness.
socially i am either domineering and monologuing and loud, with poor ToM and so i say things that are not "supposed" to be said, or I am shy and in the corner. I also tend to veer conversations back to me and my special interests.
At home, I hate talking and prefer solo pursuits.


Most people are ignorant about ASD's. That's just a fact.

My solution regarding people who are skeptical of my dx?
I just wipe them....they are no longer in existence in my life. very simple solution for me .

I've had people tell me that I can't be autistic because I am affectionate towards those I love and because I care about others.

Well, nobody's ever doubted it when I told them. My parents both accept it. The usual response I get is, "Not surprised", or "Oh, so that explains it". Even my psychiatrist, when I told him I believed I had Asperger's, just had this "Aha!" moment, suddenly noticed my lack of eye contact, and, after asking me a few questions, agreed it was reasonable. So I now have a medical professional's opinion backing me up, as well, even though I lack an official diagnosis.

I don't think I ever pretended to be animals...only when I was very little and that sort of thing was "normal". I did scream a lot though. And moaned. I was a huge spinner though. It's funny what parents don't pick up on, and teachers for that matter. I still sometimes wonder how I slipped through the cracks. I guess Asperger's wasn't that common then.

My daughter's school refuses to admit she's ASD. They bribe her with food to talk to the other kids. They ignore most of her stims like flicking her fingers and chewing on a chewy, they say she's "eccentric". Because she tested far advanced academically for her age, they say there's "nothing they can do" for her. So she's bored, can't name anyone in her class, complains the teacher "talks too much", and has pretty severe separation anxiety in the mornings on school days. I hate to send her to a place where no one "gets her". Unless you are visually disabled or have an impairment which causes you to fail academically, the schools refuse to address your differences. I hope someday there's an understanding about the different ways the ASD brain learns and more focus on lessening anxiety in social situations like school. And they shouldn't call it "special education" in my opinion, it should be a separate entitiy like Gifted and Talented which doesn't impy or give a stigma. Only when the world realizes that by fostering these kids in the different ways their brains learn will more amazingly productive and valuable assets to society emerge.

Actually they never doubted I had PDD-NOS.. only lately some select people are thinking I might not have PDD-NOS. Infact they think im HSP, for myself: I think maybe, really maybe.

How ? Well, HSP tends to share characteristics between Autism.

Has she been diagnosed with it? If she has, the school has to support her needs. If they don't, you can get her into a private school that is better suited for her and the state will pay for it.

She has formal diagnosis of Asperger's and developmental dyspraxia. School district said those are medical diagnoses and not academically relevent.

My elementary school said I only had ADD despite that I had poor social skills, obsessions, sensory issues, and dyspraxia. They were aware of all my problems but they just didn't care. They also saw me as a behavior problem.

My son is also on the spectrum - very mildly. He has been to two schools (he is 7) and both deny any existence of an ASD - mainly because they remain completley inorant of the "spectrum" model. My son has what is called an "aspergeer's personality" or pdd-nos, without gaining a full AS diagnosis.

He has a very flat voice at school and I frequently get letters home telling me he needs "more expression in his voice wen reading and conversing." This drives me batty and furious. I have told the school, but they do not listen adequately to me because I have AS and they know this. His father - who it a teacher - is going up to the school early next year to speak with them, as they will listen to him because he is "normal!"
My son also practices smiling in the mirror. He has told me repeatedly that there is no smiling in his face - only laughing smiling. (extreme expression.) THat is how I am too - with very extreme emotional expressions and missing the less subtle ones. My face is like rubber.

My son has two plates to eat and food cannot touch. He has fairly restricted interests and bangs himself a bit to calm down at home. He has tantrums when his routine or his computer or video time is interrupted or stopped. He has some sensory issues and I just wish teachers in my country were more educated about the realities of ASD's and the spectrum model. My son has eye contact at times, so they think he is fine. they also assume AS is RainMan!

Because he is focused on rules and routine and because he is a very good student, they see no problem with him. He parallel plays with some kids and has a few friends, but his understanding of friendship is rudimentary and there is really only one child he REALLY likes. In groups, he appears wooden and a bit odd, and waits for others to dictate play. He also tells me that at lunchtimes he moves from group to group often, on the edges, but the teachers don;t mind him doing this, because he is not being naughty!. they miss so much, and it is very frustrating.

At least his father - the teacher _ is now going to take the reins on the issue, and help with negotiating with the school. I do know that because he is a teacher - and he is aware of his son's quirks - that they will listen to him. fingers crossed.

Angry. They have no IDEA what I've gone through, and what I continue to go through every day, to present this "normal" face to the world.

Well we have met and i consider you an aspie friend, sunshower. And i can see you are an aspie.
I think people get fooled by your presentation - because you are very beautiful, they kind of "assume" you are normal.
But at the conference we both attended, when you were contributing and speaking and asking questions, it was very, very evident to me that your style of communication is somewhat different and excessive. And i mean that as a validating statement!

You know who and what you are, as does your mum (who is lovely) and as do other AS people.
And i think it has been very hard for you - going to uni- trying to achieve and mask the AS.
Good on you.

I honestly would just be pleased, but in the real world I don't tell anyone. I've only mentioned it to my husband and my GP (doctor). My doctor was surprised but she accepted it.

Other people have asked me if I am autistic, (the nice people) or what is wrong with me (the less nice people). One time the top boss where I worked blurted out "you seem to be someone who when you see something is wrong you feel you have to put it right." Me and my colleague who was there were completely baffled, because we could tell he had started to say something else and had said that instead, we just couldn't guess what it was. Now I know about Aspergers, I think he was going to say "you seem to have Aspergers or something".

So I guess that it is embarrassingly obvious that I'm not quite normal.

One of my last roommates.... anyway a different roommate was talking badly about people with mental disorders, and I revealed that I was diagnosed with one... she was like "I thought you had a disorder, but not that one!" I asked "Which one then?" She hesitated.... then blurted out "Do you really, really like certain things?" Then I had this long explanation about how I do. Then I asked her again "What mental disorder?" She acted at first like she was going to answer, but then suddenly left the room. :roll:

My mother, I mentioned it to her twice. It was denied both times. I never mentioned it again.

I also told my father, he didn't say anything but seemed to agree.

Of course, I'm only self diagnosed, but I don't have the opportunity to get a diagnosis because they wont listen. Even though I don't think a doctor can ever actually know because after discovering Autism/Aspergers you have a flash of memories which related to the symptoms go past. A doctor can't see all of those.

I actually got asked by someone in my woodwork class if I'm Autistic. I told him I might be... It seems ridiculous that some student I barely know sees it when my parents don't.