Feel like fitting in society may not be possible?

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Coming from someone who is pretty much stuck in the house still living with a parent and not holding a job, I'm not really sure fitting in with society would be possible. In order to fit in, I would have to act “normal” and to me, that's not really possible. Even if I pretended to, it wouldn't be me, but a poor clone, which still wouldn't work out either way. Seems like lately I been becoming a bit of a social rebel. Social norms don't change if no one does anything about them and I rather sooner stand up then sit around and do nothing, even if I don't win. My beliefs and a few other things sets me very apart from much of society, even other Aspies. I simply don't get along with many people, NTs or otherwise. From what I hear, the workplace is a lot tougher then school and I already had it with school. I know for sure adults are not beyond the bias and hatred of high school students, even if it is to a lesser extend. Just when it seemed like with school it was “go or else!”, there was another option to avoid the students and usually pointless work, GED. Surely in the workplace there's other options to earn money to make a living, even if those means come through the Internet.

Despite that and more, I wanna be able to live a happy life. Being angry over how “messed up society is” and "me vs. the world" daily isn't desirable. I just don't need that rubbed in my face over and over. At times I rather not spend the rest of my life fighting society in an attempt to change it. Now I expecting to hear “learn to deal with it”, but surely there had to be quite a few people who was not able to handle functioning in regular society. Going to the “nut house” isn't desirable either. At the moment, I'm just stuck at home (mostly in my room) doing nothing but net surfing and playing video games. Surely those people found a way to make a living. Most of the jobs out there just don't seem like they apply to me and even for ones that do, don't seem to have suitable conditions for me. The “real world” just seems like it's gonna be a bit too much for me. Limit knowledge of the government also doesn't help. After all, isn't there suppose to be ways for [almost] everyone to get through daily live in this modern world? I know there are others here that feel similar, so let's hear it.

Edit: Changed topic title from "Fitting in society may not be possible." to make it sound less like it applies to everyone.

Did you get your GED yet? I wanted to drop out at 15 but my mom said
"even your dumb brother finished high school". By 17 I had to quit or the
police would have took me out in handcuffs. At 23 I went to college and completed three years. So you can goto college with a GED.
You say you do not understand the government(programs). My addvice
is you goto college or some training school. Oh a quick thought on work.
Work has many problems but I loved the idea that atleast I did not have
homework:) Back to college now. Regardless if your going to college get
some financial aid forms. You can get them at any college or write to a
school and get them. Fill them out with your parents. This will give you
idea what you maybe able to get as for as grants (if your poor), or student
loans(that you pay back not your parents), what your family is expected to pay
(if your parent have alittle money they will have to give you part of your
money that way, which most parent do anyway). My guess is you do not have time to be ready by the fall. But if you start the paperwork now your can be at college next Jan 2007.

Learning social skills is not gonna change the inner "you", it's just like learning a foreign language, it's like a new way of communicating. You don't have to be "normal", just social enough to function in the world. Give it a try one of this days, it takes time but it's worth it.

Also, people in workplaces are a lot more mature and serious than guys at school, it will be easier for you.

Of course we don't fit in society. We aren't supposed to. Fitting in would be counterintuitive and impractical. Just accept what you are and take advantage of it.

I think that is good advice but you need to elaborate more, it's too vague.

I think I'm a perfect example that you can fake it in society but never fully "integrate." I have a full time job and get along fine with most people, however only really regularly talk to few - those are my closest co-workers and even at that, the ones that accept me for my weirdness and aren't put off by my sometimes odd behavior. Where I think my life is greatest affected is that I'm 25 and still live with a roommate who is as socially inept as I am, albeit for different reasons (I believe she has avoidant personality disorder/social anxiety) so beyond her, I do not spend time with anyone else outside of work unless it is a family member.

However, other than that, I feel that I can function normally and don't feel that alienated, but I think that's because I don't even bother comparing myself to others or try to be like them, and as long as I can accept that I am the way I am and find things that make me happy, I can be a contributing member of society. However, everyone is different and I can imagine that for some it is too difficult to try to "fit in" but I think the key isn't necessarily fitting in, but just instead faking it just enough so that you can live a comfortable existance.

i have had two jobs, one for five years and i managed well enough, it helped that the people i worked with were very open minded and tolerant, because i certainly acted a little strange. But there were rarely any problems...unless i did something really wrong, which didn't happen often.
Still i did find work tiring and as i rose towards a more managerial role much more difficult...the upshot being that i left eventually as it was stressing me out too much.
I think my AS is quite mild and i could apprieciate that things maybe more diffcult for other people. But there's certainly no harm in trying. Maybe starting off by linking special interests and socialising, if that is possible. Getting into a group of people who share something in common makes socialising much more interesting i reckon as you don't have to try and think of something to talk about or to chat, the subject is allready set up.

AHAHAAAHAAHHAAHAAAHHAA<coughs>oh yeah sure they are.

I agree. I work in a workplace with a bunch of full grown adults and some of them are very judgemental. They judge you by the clothes you wear. How you wear your hair. And of course, whether you fit in or not. No naturally, I don't fit in because I don't wear the right clothes and I'm not social enough. But I don't care. I don't go to work to win popularity contest and I'm not trying to be liked. I'm just trying to do my job so I can earn my paycheck so I can pay my bills.

Regular Society? Why would you want to.

Some kind of counter culture on the other hand will probably be happy to have you

I am terrible at pretending to be a "normal person"\


Instead, I am attempting to gain acceptance as a slightly eccentric/weird/smart person.


The world is severely messed up. Fact of life. Don't dwell on it. (though I still have a tendancy to think about the messed up aspects that affect the people in my life).


I guess the key for me has been making social stuff one of my special interests... though I can clearly see myself losing interest in my traditional ones (it has been over a week since I saw a single anime episode, several days since I last played any videogames, and over a week since I played one for more than 10 minutes)

I'm not saying they are perfect or anything, just they are definitely more mature than the school boys I met. When I had a job at a bank my coworkers: never hit me, never spat on me, never insulted me, always invited me when they were doing something, constantly tried to befriend me... We wore uniforms, so I never had any problem with clothing.