I need a personal manager

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This is embarrassing. Yesterday I got a letter from the DMV saying my car insurance had been dropped. I was shocked and then I started thinking and realized I haven't gotten a bill in months. I started paying monthly because it's easier for me to manage. Before meds this kind of thing used to happen to me all the time. My electricity would get cut off and I'd realize that the bill was buried under some crap. It's like I'm in first grade or something. I am very careful now with bills. I write the due amount on the envelope and the due date and even the date it needs to be mailed. I cross reference. But I didn't account for not noticing I wasn't getting any bills or any warning notices. I tried to call the toll free number on the insurance card and got a " talk to local hot girls" message. I'm lucky that I can borrow my mother's spare car until this is straightened out. I still don't know why I didn't get my bills. It's Sunday where I am and tomorrow is a holiday so I might not get it figured out until Tuesday. I have to work so hard to keep the minutiae of daily life in order. I think that and the extra work it takes to be "out there" are what makes me so tired all the time. Anybody else like this?

Oh yeah. I think the reasons for it are complicated. For me, the reason I don't function with bills etc. is because I avoid anything unpleasurable, which paying bills is. Then there is executive function disorder, which is common among those on the spectrum.

However, my NT husband has EFD significant enough to cause problems in his life, and he's not on the spectrum.

Have you considered setting up auto-pay if your electric company or car insurance company does it? You probably wouldn't like the idea of your bank account or credit card automatically getting deducted by your bills every month, but at least you won't forget to pay your bills... Heh heh.

That's how I do it.

Yes. Definitely.

I have far fewer problems keeping bills straight since I started using the "bill pay" function on my bank website. I do almost all of my banking on-line now. Also, a lot of companies will let you set up automatic deductions from your bank account. Then, the only thing you need to pay attention to is keeping a "cushion" of cash in your account so you don't accidently get overdrawn by an unexpectedly high bill (like a winter-time electric bill, for instance). In the long run, this will help out you credit rating, too.

OK-I think everybody is getting the idea that I am always leaving bills lying around the house and forgetting to pay them. I don't do that anymore and I work hard at it to avoid that.The problem is I didn't notice I literally wasn't getting a bill. Perhaps online bill pay would work and perhaps not. I'd still have to remember to get online and pay it. I am too poor for cash cushions. For this reason I think a physical bill is better for me. I'm just embarrassed I didn't notice I wasn't getting a very important bill.

Oh no, you don't need a personal manager, Aimless. You need a WIFE.

Most bills come in at regular times so a calender is very helpful, note on the calender when recurring bills are due then when you payed them, the amount and the check number. After that it's just a matter of making checking the calender a habit.

I leave my bills in one spot so I don't lose them. I've done automatic pay too. I did it to save on checks and stamps. I never had issues with paying bills because I know the due dates because they say when it's due by. I have had moments where I kept forgetting to pay my bills but I would get them done on time before the due date.
In fact we got our final bill from Qwest and I didn't see the due date on it so I didn't pay it, so they sent us another bill as a reminder to pay it and it was due on the 5th of this month. My husband paid it on the spot and I mailed it.

I notice I wasn't getting a bill for Comcast and we still got the channels. I knew somethign was wrong so my husband called them and it turned out they were using our deposit we put down for TIVO to pay for it every month after six months had passed and then after that ran out, they started sending us the bills again. So instead of us getting our money back from the deposit we put down, they used it on our bills.


I find it odd your bills doesn't come with a due date while mine did. I thought all bills say when the bill is due by. Well I sure didn't see a due date on one of my bills so I didn't pay it because I didn't know when I was supposed to.

Yes, a "monthlies" list on a journal page where each can be checked off ... er, monthly!

My wife takes care of our finances, so keeping up with all of that is not a problem here as long as we have the funds. However, I do have trouble with recurring things like prescriptions and doctor appointments because I have no sense of how much time has passed since the last time.

My strategy:

I have a basket into which I put all the mail I get.

Every Saturday, I go through the mail and divide it into three categories: To be thrown away; to be filed; to be processed. The third, to-be-processed pile, I go through piece by piece, sending checks, filling out forms, writing replies as necessary. Then the remains of that pile get divided into the other two--either to be filed or to be thrown away--or put in a new stack for letters to go out with the mail. Then the stacks get put away--one to the garbage can, two to the files, and the letters to the mailbox. If anything remains to be processed, it stays in the same box I put my mail in during the week, so it can be handled the next week.

Before I learned to use this system, I had a great many late fees, fines, and had a lot of trouble because people weren't getting forms I should have sent in.

Here's how I (mostly) stay on top of things.

I have two accounts, a bill-pay account and a weekly account. The bill-pay account gets replenished twice a month from direct-deposit at work. All bills go out on the payday before they're due, scheduled through online bill-pay. Most bills are handled through e-bills. The water company doesn't offer that, so I autoscheduled a payout of the same amount every month on a payday and now have about a $20 credit because of that... I don't even open that bill most of the time. The cable company turned off e-bills for some reason, so I autoscheduled that, but it's the same every month, as are house and car payments.

The weekly account gets replenished every Friday from the bill-pay account. The weekly account backs the debit card I use just about everywhere out and about, except for large infrequent purchases which come from the bill-pay account.

The upshot is that I always know how much money I can spend before the following Friday, and how much extra I have until the next payday, and never have to wonder if some bill hasn't gone out yet when I check my balances.

You got that right cosmiccat



The car insurance bill has not come for months

I didn't realize it because my brain is operating on a out of sight out mind system

I don't forget to pay my bills. I use a calendar.

If they arrive I pay them on time

If they don't arrive I don't think about them

That is the problem

Thanks for your replies. I just need, as cosmic cat said, a wife.

Sorry, I will see what I can do to notice if a bill should have arrived and hasn't.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I guess I missed that. I don't think about things if they're not mailed to me, either. I got into trouble with the social security people for not sending them my bank statements, actually, because they didn't send me a reminder every month and wanted me to do it spontaneously.

Me too. I want Tabitha from Salon Makeover to come and kick me in the behind on a daily basis. I can just hear her now.

Yep, that's the problem. Keeping up with bills is a lot of hard work for me but I manage it. I need to make a list of when bills are supposed to arrive. I cross reference on calendars so much it's ridiculous. I've got one on the refrigerator, one on the door, I have a date book too.
My son get SSI and I am his beneficiary payee (He's 12) so I have to call in my monthly income to an automated system. I get no reminders either. It's scary to think of forgetting something so critical. I better go grab some big red markers and go through my calendars right now.