What is the best thing your parents could have done for you?

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Given me up for adoption.

I wish my mother would have opened her eyes and seen that I was hurting and needed her to be a parent to ME. Instead she tried to make me quiet so as not to provoke the abusive stepfather.
I wish she had chosen me over him.
I wish she had taken my side, even once, and stood up to him.
I wish she would have listened to me, and accepted that she was the only one that could have protected me.
I wish she kicked the bastard out.
I wish she didn't just stand and watch when he beat me, belittled me, or kissed me.
I wish she gave a s**t about my emotional/mental/physical health and safety.

I wish that my mum said positive things to me, like encouragement, instead of always telling me that I was doing things the wrong way and swearing at me when I didn't meet her expectations of what a "normal" child should be. I believe this is one of the things that helped destroy my self esteem.

Let me speak my mind.

All those years I have been forced to be a part of social situations, which I wasn't able to do.
I was obedient, but sometimes I escaped and ran out into the woods - and stood there for several hours.
Then I became deeply terrified, so now I can't neihter talk properly to people, or be around them because I am so timid.
So my advice is: Do not force an aspie to participate in social situations - encourage her instead.

The best thing they could have done would have been to try to get to know/understand me or simply to pay a little more attention to what was going on in front of them.

They did have clues.

I was 'tested' at age 6, for being a problem child.

My IQ tested inside the 98th percentile and so the 'Doctor' (this was the 60's) concluded that my behaviour 'problems' were due to boredom!

Pearls of wisdom indeed.

I remember not long after this, my parents being informed by my subject teacher for English that my 'comprehension was nil'.

Looking back, there seems to be a slight inconsistency when a 6 year old is solving simultaneous equations, playing with logarithms and whose 'comprehension is nil'!

I guess they missed that one.

The two best things my family actually DID for me:

They kept me out of the mainstream public high school for two critical years,


AND they had me before Asperger's was an available diagnosis. I am very sure they had me checked for autism [though that is just a guess, I think it is a good guess] and I know they shifted me - though not my brother - out of being left-handed. They would have tried to deprogram me, and it would have been miserable. As it was, they just ver got me - never get me.

That said - our son [himself about the same distance into the Aspike-Universe as I am] recently said how much he appreciated that we never told him he had to do this, that, etc.

Not try to limit my special intrests, it hurts me so much remering being told my parents need a break from hearing about them. My special intrests are a part of me. Being told to shut up about them made me hurt emotionaly and feel as trapped.

Take reports of bullying seriously and not be told it was my fault. Even today as an adult when I bring up how much I suffered at the hands of a certian teacher's emotional abuse, my parents say it was partly my fault because I wasn't the easiest person to like or be around.

Let me dream once and a while. I always wanted to be a vet but because of severe dyscalculia (an unknown condition at the time) I would never be able to pass the college math requirements and should focus on being a veternary technician. I was as young as nine (mentaly I was five or six) when told this. It made me resentful and loose any modivation for anything school related. My grades weren't the best but after my parents said that, I got straight D's and F's and didn't care.

Aside from that my parents did good job. If a phycologist suggested they take my special intrests they would cancel all future appointments and look for a new one. They did eventually take me out of public school to homeschool me but my mom says she sometimes wishes she kept me in public school because maybe I would have grauated. I wish she would quit being so hard on herself because if she did keep me there I either would have commited sucide or droped out and would be nowhere. I also wish she would stop saying that the abuse I endured at the hands of a piticular teacher was partly my fault.

I think they could have done, was told me about AS and that I had it. Of course, I don't think they knew, but my dad had it, just didn't have a name for it I suppose, but I have to think that he, like I did by the time I was in high school, must have known something was amiss. So I don't blame them in that sense, just saying because you do know so you have the chance to help your child that way.

Had I known back then ... you know, maybe it would have been a copout, an excuse to just give up, not try. But I also think it would have helped me, helped me understand why things were the way they were, and if I had actually been aware of my weaknesses in some way beyond just I feel wierd and different than everyone else, maybe I could have adjusted a little better.

The other thing I think would have helped would have been to somehow get me to have more friends - maybe they should have forced the issue - just make me socialize more, even if I didn't want to. To this day I'm not always comfortable in large groups. I feel like if they had gotten me together with just one person, let me get comfortable, then introduced a 2nd person, let me get comfortable, and then a 3rd, and so on, I'd probably be a lot more comfortable in large groups today.

Helped out with my anger issues. I had and still have serious anger issues. Instead I was sent to a psychologist and put on depression medication because nobody knew any differently. This was in the days before AS diagnosis.

I dunno, they tried.

I guess I wish they hadn't sent me to public school, I don't know if things would of been any better though.

My parents..I wish they had stopped for a moment to see what was going on. A psychologist and a psychiatrist both said there was a 'problem'. My father said there was not so that was the end of it. A mental health facility actually took us to court but my father convinced the judge that if there was any problem that he would take care of it. He was an 'important businessman' in the community and wouldn't have his good name dragged through the mud (want to know how many times I heard that?) by having a son that was less than perfect. But, this was a different time, hopefully people do not still think like this.