Are autistics agressive?

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I have a 10 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and Aspergers by a paediatrician when he was four.

I don't know whether ODD is the new ADHD, but I'm kinda skeptical about the labels. My son did (and still has, though to a lesser degree) a range of behaviours that were definitley out of the normal range, like constantly annoying others. Deliberately and consistently. Well, presumably it was deliberate and it was definitely persistent. Pretty unstoppable, too. Teachers and others would get pretty flummoxed over how to deal with it.

He can be very, very stubborn and particularly when tired will flat out refuse to do anything anyone asks, tells, orders, begs, commands or tries to physically cajole him to do. I think this kind of behaviour can reasonably be classed as oppositionally defiant because it's not based on what you're saying it's based on the fact that he's saying no! Totally disregarding what you're saying. It is a condition that can change, though, and our paediatrician acknowledged that. I try to never tell schools he was diagnosed with it because in my experience they totally panic and treat him with unnecessary bias - he can function in a school with aid, once he knows the boundaries and routines and has a good strong teacher.

He Hulk Smashes things too, like Daniel_Is_My_Name's nephew sounds like. If he gets to this point he's pretty unstoppable and it goes on for ages - luckily it doesn't happen all that often if he has enough sleep.

He only lives with me part-time now, because I have another son who was impacted by his behaviour and just because it works better that way for everyone - when his behaviour is managed well he's an awesome kid.

im not agressive but if i get meltdown i might kill couple walls usually im being restrained for my own safety yah rigth

This describes what I experience very well. I think part of the AS profile is having defective or differently working amygdala, resulting in extremes in emotionality. I have little "pet hates" that don't make sense to most people and my anger goes from 0 to 100 in a second and I find it extremely difficult to control myself. I've been like this since a toddler. On the other hand, I'm a very socially passive person and find it difficult to defend myself when I'm being verbally attacked, which is when a little bit of anger would do me some good. Instead, I just stand there speechless because my mind goes blank.