Downloading People?

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Does anybody else do this or have I lost my marbles? I don't really think I avoid eye contact but I don't feel it neccesary because I get my information from what I hear. I know I make direct eye contact when I have a feeling of "I need to know". I have always felt that I am acutely aware of eye movement and changes in a pitch of a person's voice. I will pick up on the slightest hesitation, stutter, pause and if it alarms me then I go for the eyes. In casual conversation it's not important to me and feel I'm being rude if I look you directly in the eye, because I think I'm breaking into an emotional access door that I have'nt been invited into. The only people I have difficulty but not impossible is with ADHDers, Aspies and sociopaths. On the flip side I feel that they can also "download" me and I will absolutely avoid eye contact. I've asked NT's about it and they look at me like I'm crazy. Am I?

I definitely feel like if someone else gets to look too much into my eyes that they can learn too much of me (like that I don't know what I'm doing) and when I look at theirs, I don't know if I'm giving the right signals or what. About downloading people - I don't feel as though people can download me or, (as I take download to mean) get info on my innermost feelings and senses (?) mostly because I don't think most people are that sensitive. In fact, I think many people are dismissive of such things, even if they feel them. Now, if you talked to a real shaman, maybe he or she would have some interesting things to say about that. Do I think it's possible? Mmm, I don't think much is impossible. I do know when I walk behind someone, like down the street, or in shopping centers, I don't like to walk right where they stepped because I can't not feel them. I feel like I pick up on a lot, usually more than I'm interested in. To put it in a four year old's terms, it feels icky. And I don't think being sensitive equals crazy.

[quote="happymusic"]I definitely feel like if someone else gets to look too much into my eyes that they can learn too much of me

Yes. exactly that.

I feel the opposite way, I used to stare into people's eyes for an extended amount of time, of course they would always turn away. Eventually I learned it's considered rude to stare but I always felt that I could not only get a better picture of who they are but that I was the dominant personality because everyone would look away.

I think you've just described why shy people often avoid eye contact to a T.
I don't know why I can't look into people's eyes. It's too overwhelming, too much emotion, too much to process. If I make eye contact, I cannot process what the person is saying. So, looking into the eyes of the other person, for me, is fine as long as it's not a conversation. I love staring contests. I have this problem with everyone, from neurotypicals to those on the spectrum, The only difference is that those on the spectrum generally don't care.

I agree with you about not being able to process what the other person is saying if there's too much eye contact - it's like listening to two people talk at the same time about different subjects. That's why I watch their lips as they talk - it reinforces the actual words, I don't have to try to figure out the business with the eyes, and the person thinks I'm looking at their eyes. I thought people could tell I was looking at their lips but a couple of people have told me they couldn't tell.

And staring contests remind me of when two wizards battle it out in a movie - yes, those can be fun. My dog wins those all the time. She's very good.

Wow, good stuff. Something I know I do is when I'm in a hostile situation is I can bore a hole into someone with direct eye contact. It completely rattles them. It goes beyond what NT's do when they're angry. Sometimes just to play with my friends I'll lock on to their eyes and they've said, "Jeez, stop that. WTF, how do you do that?" We laugh about it. Any thoughts on this?

No you're not crazy. I experience a similar thing where if I look into someones eyes and they are looking into mine it's like they are invading my head with theirs and pulling out all of my thoughts, essentially downloading me onto their very own secret memory card. Ok that does sound a little crazy LOL but I'm sure we aren't the only ones with this experience.