How did you guys know you couldn't pick up on that stuff?

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Well I thought back to the College issue and thought wait a minute MAYBE she was giving me cues etc. to leave her the hell alone but I didn't see them. IMO that's my guess. Also on a subway in NY some shady guy was following us and my sister tells her friend (when is your boyfriend meeting us etc.) I said huh? (since he wasn't meeting us) and my sister kicked me in the ankle LOL! I didn't understand the social cue of striking conversation to ward off a shady person. So that IMO is a social cue thing.

I was so wrapped up in my interests/studies to notice . . . as i mention in other posts, i guess i learned to tell more by tone, but even that isnt perfect. For example, if someone laughs, something is funny but i wouldnt know what they were laughing at (be it a joke, someone else, or me) . . . about the same for yelling: either one is mad or trying to get your attention, but for some reason i always take it as the former (or i supposedly sound like the former when i reply).

I used to think I was a very empathetic, caring person, I suppose like everyone thinks that they are a brilliant driver. It is only when other people point it out to me that I can see that I have no clue.

On the other hand, some people do ask for my opinion about things because they know that they will get an absolutely straight answer from me.

I thought I could pick it all up like everyone else.

I didn't know until about two years ago, when I met someone who was rude -- and honest -- enough to point out that I wasn't getting things. When I first took an online assessment, I disregarded it as hokum, since I fit so many of those criteria and I was perfectly normal, after all.

Honestly, all these years when things didn't go well, I just figured it was the other person's unreasonable behavior, not mine. I didn't see anything wrong with the way I was behaving. Occasionally, some complaint would turn up on a work evaluation, but my bosses never made much of them, so I didn't either. Apparently, I never offended anyone enough to make a real nuisance of myself. Realizing it was the other way around was a bit of a blow to my self-confidence, but I'm starting to get back on my feet again, now.

I honestly didn't really notice the fact that I don't have the usual number of friends and people to socialize with until my daughter hit her teen years and started worrying out loud about what I'd do once she went off to college. I did once ask a member of clergy why no one seemed to like me very much, but the question seemed to make him uncomfortable and he changed the subject.

My family apparently didn't realize anything was off with me, either. To them, it was just me being me: quiet, studious, a bit dreamy, with no sense of self-preservation or common sense.

Having heard of it on WP, I am already a hermit, so no chance to test some things.

I would still put it at, having a social gene seems a disability. The ones I have watched seem to have a high turnover, friends, but short term, and with little depth.

When a trait is measured by those who are best at it, and they sell used cars, insurance, or run for public office, it would seem to be a disgrace.

Sociopath and Psycopath personalities seem the most gifted.

I might have missed out on a few good things, but I have very high sales resistance.

As the bad end of this takes the ability to gain trust, understand the mark, and I do not trust, and no one understands what I am thinking, it has protected me.

With humans, there are a lot more liers and con men than girls who want to give me their phone number.

By my standards, the truth plain spoken works, the other stuff I consider manipulation by those who lack a truth, or motive they could express.

I am not alone, a Court of Law looks only at words and facts, a business plan, stock offering, a patent, a repair manual. Then there is the internet.

When asked how she plead to the charge of murder, the defendant cocked her head to the side, pursed her lips, her eyes looking off to the left, and tossing her hair, ran her fingers through it while shifting her stance to bring notice to her hips. A kaliedscope of imagery flowed from her face toward the bench, "Well" said the Judge, and acting very displeased, she replied, "I dont have time for your silly questions," then she pouted, threw back her shoulders, making the thin blouse show the fullness of her bra, with possibly something under it being offered.

The Judge, seeing her discomfort in the situation was understanding, "I would like to offer my help, to such a beautiful young woman, may I enter a plea for you?" Sensing she was making progress, she pivoted her leading foot slowly on the ball, which made her leg writh like a snake beneath her skirt, and said, "Whatever." The court entered a plea of guilty, and by her lowered chin, the top of her body twisting one way as the bottom twisted the other, she seems pleased.

So who has the worst end of this spectrum? Those who live a fact based life, or those who would live by implied meaning?

I am sure the above defendant thinks she will have to obey for a while, then she will move on to something else. Nothing is serious in her world. It's not like it was the first time an older man had her in handcuffs.

It is not that I cannot pick up on it, I just don't buy it.

As someone once said of me, "It is, or it isn't."

There is a lot of the world that runs on black and white thinking.

I like black and white thinking.
It makes things clear.
I would like if everyone was a stereotype of their 'group', it would make things easier.
I do not buy the argument that that would make things uninteresting because I do not care for that.

I didn't know until I was getting diagnosed, and had to take the test. "What emotions are these faces showing?" They all looked neutral / bored / expressionless, though obviously that's not the answer. It scared me, and made me realize that I'm not normal.

I had no idea what I was 'missing'. I'd get into long pointless arguments with mother that went nowhere because I couldn't understand why kids were mean to me. It wasn't like I was mean first.

Not until I was older, about 11/12. I didn't even know body language was such an important thing in interaction, I thought it was all just words (except for the obvious happy/sad/scared stuff). And I didn't know eye contact existed until I was 11.
As soon as I realised I read loads about body language and I can pick plenty of things out when I observe people. But I still need practice when taking part in actual interactions.

Years of studying people, reading articles trying to improve my ability to get a woman, pondering all this stuff.

Noticing that there are things that one person says to someone in a certain way, yet if I say it, there is something missing that changes the meaning.

Lots of theorizing, basically figured everyone was crazy til I realized they were communicating with this body language stuff I kept hearing about.

a couple decades of bitter experience (in adulthood) convinced me it couldn't all be 'the other guy' plus doing everything else under the sun that was supposed to make me 'better' to no avail.

I was dimly aware of body language throughout my entire life as a magnetic
force of attraction that did not work when I tried to imitate it, even though its
effect on me was to become good friends with or at least admirer and watcher
of those who it worked very well for.

I did think it was an imaginary force that I invented until it was clear that I
could no longer communicate at all with the opposite gender of my age,
even though I also always knew that I had no gender preference. For
some reason people about a decade older than myself have ALWAYS
been much easier to communicate with than other people.

I no longer have a theory of what I am missing, but my imagination is
beautiful and powerful enough to cover up the ruining of the world, while
still being aware of it in a way that I think is not being communicated
by others, and I see the cycle of failure in others' relationships that makes
me think my own senses are more real than those who do not form
the rare but deep friendship-for-life bonds that I do. I don't believe that
what I am missing out on is more beautiful than what I do see.

I have a theory, without the ability to put it on a solid foundation, but by
much thinking on the subject, (and apology for the characterization of
the theory) that body language is at least partly something secret like maybe
a secret code formerly used by prostitutes to not be obviously doing business
in public. Affectionate behavior is obvious to me and the lack of it relative
to the 1970s in general may be evidence of that. The theory is obnoxious
I admit, but hugs, kisses, using real words, and dancing is obvious to me,
but the silence of my generation toward me is deafening so I do suspect
it to be intentionally secret, and whenever it hasn't been, I have found it
to be deceiving, that is, literal and troublesome lies, whenever a woman
in my age group has talked to me, and I have learned to predict that
pattern so well that I can sense it way before they have a chance to
talk to me, and observe the expected result when they talk to others who
don't see that. But I remain completely unable to detect a good signal
from a woman my age, as if there never is any, or as if it is not something
obviously nice enough to be perceived as attraction. I just don't know.