Autism and nosiness

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hartzofspace
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15 Mar 2010, 2:15 pm

I suppose, as others have said here, that I am nosy when it is about something that could potentially affect me. For instance, I was hearing a lot of drilling and hammering noises outside my house. I opened the door and asked the person working there, what he was doing, how long it would go on, etc. I am sure that he thought I was using NT speak to complain, but I needed to know these things so that I didn't get sensory overload. If I knew the estimated duration of the disturbance, I could decide to leave, and come back when it was over, or wear ear plugs and wait it out. It might have seemed to be nosiness to the repair person. I guess if an event will detract or add to my personal experience, I want to know more about it. But things like celebrity gossip, have no appeal to me whatsoever.

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Apera
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15 Mar 2010, 3:45 pm

I say that nosiness is greater only because those on the spectrum don't get the cues to stop. I have largely replaced this with observation. You learn the same things with less communication.

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Who_Am_I
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15 Mar 2010, 4:05 pm

MommyJones wrote:

My husband isn't diagnosed, but he is most likely AS and he has to know everything. I don't know if that's an AS thing, but it drives me crazy. I buy a different shampoo than I normally do because they don't have my brand and he has to know why I bought that one instead. It makes me feel like I have to explain everything I do, like I live with my parents. I'm on the computer and he comes in and has to know who I'm talking to and about what and on what page. It's not that he doesn't trust me because he can check any time, he just has to ask. Anything that changes or is out of the ordinary he has to know why. He doesn't do anything with it, it's just like he has this curiosity that he needs to satisfy.

I'm like that with asking questions about every little change. I never realised it could make a person feel like they're living with their parents again. I do it because understanding the reasons behind change helps to alleviate the anxiety caused by it.

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alana
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15 Mar 2010, 6:11 pm

dt18 wrote:

Anybody here on the spectrum find themselves to be nosier than the average person? I know I have that tendency, and just want to know if I'm not the only one and if this is part of being autistic.

I am, it's ridiculous. Part of it is from fallout of not being able to 'read' what is going on... what people are up to and the subplots and scenarios that go on all the time that I am oblivious to unless I research everything. Part of it is this is my approach to life anyway, wanting to know as much as possible and connect all the variables so it makes sense. It is a definite defect of mine sometimes.

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15 Mar 2010, 6:20 pm

I tend to be extremely nosy, but I think that ties in with my anxiety.

I''m also a little hypocritical in that regard because I tend to not be able to mind my own business but I hate it whenever people nose into my business.

Brennan
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15 Mar 2010, 7:06 pm

I really want to know everything that is going on, but I got it drilled into me as a kid that it wasn't polite to ask, so now I don't ask but I still want to know.

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15 Mar 2010, 8:59 pm

dt18 wrote:

I meant nosy as in curious about things to the point that it is annoying. As in, why did so and so come to the door, or what was someone's motives behind something that isn't any of your business.

Sometimes I'm like that. I remember my mum would always have to answer every little question I had and I saw that it was irritating her so I started to look for answers in a dictionary. This was before the almighty google search engine.
I still do ask a lot of questions, but I mostly don't care that much about other people.

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111chuckybabu
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16 Mar 2010, 8:14 am

I'm like this. I can be as curious as a young child sometimes.

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16 Mar 2010, 10:52 am

Who_Am_I wrote:

I do it because understanding the reasons behind change helps to alleviate the anxiety caused by it.

Same, exactly, though I only do it with the few close to me. I've been conditioned to sort of know when to stop because of my boyfriend's past frustrations with me constantly asking him questions that seem "pointless" to him.

I have to explain to him that I only ask because if I don't, I will fixate on it.

Now that I think about it, though, I am pretty nosy, and was a lot worse back in high school. Only with my special interests, though. Like if I overheard some stranger talking about sound mixing, I'd be very, very internally pushed to start a conversation, even though I usually avoid that kind of interaction.

Odin
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16 Mar 2010, 8:50 pm

People seem to complain about me "eavesdropping", as if I could turn my ears on and off at will. :roll:

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lyricalillusions
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17 Mar 2010, 1:57 pm

I'm the opposite of that. I absolutely hate nosy people & just want them to go away & leave me alone. I'm definitely not nosy when it comes to others.

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FredOak3
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17 Mar 2010, 2:33 pm

I'm in the I don't give a rat's a**...as long as it isn't interfering with me I don't care.

Just leave me in my peace an quiet and don't bother me and I won't bother you. ;-)

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