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dt18
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20 Mar 2010, 11:35 pm

How many of you have trouble accepting criticism, as opposed to NTs. I've always had trouble accepting criticism. Sometimes, it puts me in meltdown mode. I start saying stupid s**t, and getting these irrational thoughts....trying to mentally "punish" myself if I screw up badly and I know it. Sometimes I physically hit myself just to release the anger.



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20 Mar 2010, 11:40 pm

Definitely have trouble accepting criticism. Often my response to criticism is deep, seething anger. I don't act out on it of course, but it certainly is something I don't handle as well as I would like. Like you too I get irrational thoughts, but I keep everything inside so I don't say anything. I wish I could stand up for myself more.



dt18
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20 Mar 2010, 11:44 pm

Unfortunately, there's only so much you can keep inside. I usually at least make an attempt to do that, but I find it backfires even more. The anger that I have in me can sometimes linger for hours and even days.



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20 Mar 2010, 11:50 pm

dt18 wrote:
Unfortunately, there's only so much you can keep inside. I usually at least make an attempt to do that, but I find it backfires even more. The anger that I have in me can sometimes linger for hours and even days.


Well, thank-fully its not everyday I experience criticism. My anger lingers for maybe 24 hours, but no more than that; I eventually get over it.



Dox47
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20 Mar 2010, 11:53 pm

I tend to deal with written criticism better than verbal, with verbal I tend to get very defensive because I don't have as much time to think it through and respond rationally.


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dt18
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20 Mar 2010, 11:57 pm

Agreed



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21 Mar 2010, 12:01 am

I don't handle criticism, very well. Loud and verbal criticism is the hardest for me to handle. I usually start to cry, when somebody deals me such criticism. I can really hate people sometimes, for that reason.


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tinmaiden
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21 Mar 2010, 12:05 am

Real or perceived, this is definitely something I have trouble with. Self-abuse is not good, and I'm sad to hear when people have a problem with it, but goodness does it sound familiar.

Please take care of yourself.


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Giancarlo
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21 Mar 2010, 12:06 am

Dox47 wrote:
I tend to deal with written criticism better than verbal, with verbal I tend to get very defensive because I don't have as much time to think it through and respond rationally.


Exactly what I was going to say, that way I don't focus so much about the way people are saying things, I always get confused with that stuff.. are they trying to insult me or help me?. I don't really like verbal criticism because I tend to react in a bad way.



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21 Mar 2010, 12:27 am

My friends don't call me Mick Avory, for nothing. He had that same problem, when Dave kept on having a go at him, for 20 years, straight. Ray had to keep stepping in, between them. That's a whole different story, all together. 8)


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21 Mar 2010, 1:02 am

It is hard for me to take criticism too, especially about my art and if it was not requested. In art school I could handle group critique, but when someone just pipes up with something critical to say I get really bent out of shape. It is hard to know if they are trying to offend or if they are trying to help most of the time. If someone were to say something like, "did you notice the eyebrows are crooked?" I think I might take that as helpful, but when they say things like ,"what is it?" or "what does it mean?" or try to make fun in some way I wonder what their motivations are for saying such things.



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21 Mar 2010, 1:21 am

I have no problem with criticism; it depends on how it's delivered, though. If it's delivered in a snotty manner then I'll have a problem with it; but if it's being given in a friendly, non-insulting manner then I'll more easily accept it.


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21 Mar 2010, 1:49 am

Criticising me usually makes me feel depressed. I made a sandwich which doesn't taste good to you? Oh, that means I can't cook! And that means there is something wrong with me because everybode else can! And that means am generally dumb!
Sigh...


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alana
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21 Mar 2010, 2:55 am

I get defensive and I respond when I should just nod and say 'mmmhmmm'.

I keep waiting for myself to learn this.



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21 Mar 2010, 3:03 am

I guess my reaction to criticism is shock, then it takes me awhile to get over it. I become temporarily mute too which is good because I don't start abusing the person that is criticising me.


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21 Mar 2010, 3:26 am

at various times in my life, it has made me wilt like a shrinking violet. at other times it has made me get excess stomach acids and gut pains. still other times i have responded as a cornered animal and have lashed-out at the critic if if they were ad-hominem about their criticism of me and started invading my space. that is the worst part of it, that somebody else can make me lose my cool and get violent. it is as though those folk are controlling my brain and not me.